


Wired Life

by aria_dc_al_fine



Series: 恋わずらい [1]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Fluff and Angst, Implied Mpreg, Kid Fic, M/M, Married Life, Red String of Fate, Sibling Incest, Slice of Life, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Time Skips, Update Every Few Days, Yukio-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:04:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 47,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2215074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aria_dc_al_fine/pseuds/aria_dc_al_fine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having bonded with his soulmate, Yukio was luckier than the vast majority of the world, who saw their strings turn black or met their demise before finding the other end of their strings. </p><p>Yet, being bonded to one's soulmate isn't the ultimate happy ending.</p><p>Warning: chapter 11 / drabble 27, chapter 13 and chapter 25 contain Mature content.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is borrowed from Ao no Exorcist's 2nd ending. Tbh it was my source of inspiration for this story.

1.

_“That’s…” disapproval radiated off the Paladin in waves._

_“It’s necessary,” his companion urged, “what if he looks for her and father quarter-blood demons? How will the bond affect his sealed powers? There are too many risks.”_

_They stared at the baby in the basinet._

_“Even then…”_

* * *

 

2.

“Oh!” Shiemi’s face turned beet red as she laid her eyes on Ryuuji. Her wide eyes darted from her pinky to the boy with wild highlighted hair repeatedly, as though in disbelief. “U-um-”

“Seriously!?” Shima and Konekomaru rose to their feet and gaped at their childhood friend Bon.

“Her string’s connected to you?” the bald boy exclaimed in surprise.

“I’m envious!” the pink-haired teen pouted. “Not only you’re one of the lucky few who actually get to meet your soul mate, she’s such a cute girl too!”

“I-i-idiot!” Bon stuttered, his face was redder than Shiemi’s.

Rin blinked at the development that occurred to his new friend, the hope that had been building since he met her at her garden dashed. “So lucky, eh,” he murmured under his breath, his eyes couldn’t help but glare at his bare pinky resentfully.

Yukio watched his brother from the doorway, and looked down at the red string around his own pinky.

(He was just as doomed.)

* * *

 

3. 

_“Ne, ne!” Rin tugged at his father’s robe and pointed at the television screen. “Why does she have a string around her finger? Why is it linked to the man’s finger?”_

_The priest looked troubled for a moment. “Rin,” he crouched down to his foster son’s level, “Some of us have a red thread around our pinkies that are only visible to the owner of the pinky. This thread is often called the ‘Red String of Fate’. This string connect us to…a person who is very important to us. The other half of our soul.” The adult male nudged at the TV with his chin, “it’s been popularized as romance in the media, but really, that person doesn’t have to be a wife. They can be a friend.”_

_The second statement had flown over Rin’s head it seemed, because the young boy was too busy staring at his pinky. He brought his hands close to his eyes and bit his lip in concentration before he sighed, small shoulders slumping forward. “I don’t have the string,” he sounded dejected. “…Do I not have an important person?”_

_As soon as Rin spoke, Yukio turned to his brother, the bespectacled boy’s expression that of shock._

_“Well…” Father Fujimoto looked sad for a moment before a bright grin overtook his face. He ruffled Rin’s hair, messing it up. “Not everyone has the string. Some people are born whole! Besides,” the curve of his lips was filled with warmth. “You have us! We won’t leave you alone,” with his long arms, Father Fujimoto grabbed Yukio and enveloped the two boys in a bear group hug._

_Rin laughed as he was pressed tightly against the tall man’s chest. “I can’t breathe!” he giggled, his previous cloudy mood quickly forgotten._

_The smaller boy remained pensive._

_“Yukio?” the priest noticed something was amiss._

_The younger brother shook his head and nuzzled against his family closer._

* * *

 

4.

Later, after Rin discovered his true heritage, he wondered if the reason he didn’t have the string was because he didn’t have a _human_ soul another person on Assiah could be a mate to.

* * *

 

5. 

“Congratulations.”

Blood rushed to Shiemi’s cheeks again. “T-thank you,” she peered at her tutor.

Yukio calmly scribbled some notes on his book before her quiet observation of him went on unnervingly too long. “Your mother must be relieved,” he said, to break the awkward silence. “Suguro-kun has strong spiritual powers. The bond would enhance your physical health.” He smiled at her, an empty polite expression.

Shiemi smiled sadly to herself. Truthfully, she’d wanted Yuki-chan to be the other end of her string. To keep a tight lid over her wistful thoughts, Shiemi pretended to fuss. “A b-bond-! That’s very, very far ahead, Yuki-chan! We may not even…”

“ _Sou desu ne…_ ” The dragoon laughed. “You’re still young; take the time to understand yourselves,” he stated a general, meaningless advice.

Shiemi pursed her lips and hesitated. Twice. Eventually she managed to ask her burning question. “How about Yuki-chan’s string…”

Something flashed across Yukio’s eyes, an expression so cold it…scared Shiemi and made her words trail off.

“I don’t have any,” eventually, Yukio spoke, his tone flat.

Shiemi knew it was a lie. “Oh,” she merely responded.

They didn’t say anything for a few seconds, until Yukio tapped his pen at a page before his student. “Shiemi-san, about this practice question…”

The blonde girl quickly welcomed the change in topic. “Ah, this case study…”

Shiemi never once asked Yukio about his soulmate again.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I didn't put much thought into who Shiemi ends up with when the Okumura-bros are off limits.
> 
> Might change it to Izumo/Bon. The secondary pairing doesn't matter much.


	2. Chapter 2

6.

In Shura’s oldest, vaguest memory – the earliest instance of her life she could recall - the string around her pinky was already black.

When she was a toddler, Shura made the mistake of asking an older clan woman who was occasionally taking care of her. The woman’s face was instantly filled with pity.

“You’re strong, Shura,” a wrinkled hand covered her own short chubby fingers. “You’ll survive without needing anyone.”

Shura pieced it together later. The fact that her soulmate had died before she was born.

She didn’t feel any loss.

(One couldn’t lose something he hasn’t had, after all.)

“Hmmph,” the scantily-clad woman pushed the remote button with more force than necessary while flipping the television a bird. “What a tasteless show.”

Yukio, who was in the teachers' lounge with her, reading reports while she was killing time, sighed. “You shouldn’t have watched it in the first place, Shura-san.”

“It was good,” Shura sighed and leaned so far back from the sofa she could see the serious guy from her head hanging upside down. He was going to give himself an ulcer in the stomach one day, she knew it. “Funny crap…till they have to bring that shit in.”

She was replied with silence for a while. Just as the First-Class exorcist thought she was being ignored, Yukio remarked, “The red string of fate is indeed overhyped.”

Shura snorted. “You don’t say.”

She observed him perusing through stacks of papers a while longer before her boredom got the better of her. “Yer gonna work yourself to death at this rate,” she sighed loudly, half venting her restlessness out, half baiting him. “You should think of yer poor soulmate, her heart broken when she sees her thread turn black.”

“Heh,” Yukio’s huff was full of derision, carelessly abandoned in the air. “He can’t even see the thread.” The sentence was soft but audible, his voice ringing hollow.

Yukio must really be tired, Shura thought, for the normally detached teen to let out such a revealing response. If the bespectacled genius was himself, he would have stopped at, ‘that’s not possible,’ and let Shura decipher the meaning herself, guessing whether he had no string or his string was already black, like hers.

‘He doesn’t see.’ These words told Shura that Yukio had a (male) soulmate, knew who he was. An unreciprocated knowledge.

Her own eyes couldn’t help but stray to her own string. Her black, unmoving string.

In the time her eyes blinked, it twitched.

(Everybody neglects to mention what happens when the other end of your string is an inhuman existence from Gehena.)

* * *

 

7.

Yukio was at his wits’ end.

_Why would anyone choose to throw away his humanity and be a demon?_

“What about your soulmate?” the exorcist shouted at Toudou. At the very least, he hoped to throw the older man – demon – off guard. "Did you think of her before? How she will be affected by your transformation?"

Yukio’s plan backfired. A dark shadow overtook the traitor’s freckled face. “I saw my string turn black,” his growl was filled with so much hate, bitterness and….regret? “When I was busy chasing the backs of my father and brothers.”

 _Oh_.

“I’m the same as you,” Toudou taunted. “Now that your brother is going to disappear, you already have nothing left.”

Yukio’s heart dropped to his stomach. _Nobody was supposed to know._

He fought and ran with all his might, shooting bullets after bullets of blessed water. Even though there was no tomorrow. Precisely because there was no tomorrow. Draining his powers summoning the Naiads.

His opponent was barely scratched. “Don’t you think you are just a tool to protect your brother?” Toudou sing-sang as he stalked after the lower-ranked exorcist.

Relief flooded into Yukio at once. His secret was still safe with him.

“Admit it,” the demon came closer, cornering his prey, “you truly hate your brother.”

Yukio gritted his teeth and kept his gun held up.

Toudou couldn’t be more wrong.

(But he was also right.)

* * *

 

 

8.

For as long as Yukio could remember, the red string tied around his pinky connected him straight to his older brother’s.

But Rin had never acknowledged it.

(If something exists only in your mind, is it real?)

TBC

Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

9.

(" ** _Soul Bonding for Dummies"_** )

‘ _Nii-san!_ ’

Rin turned around when the back of his neck pricked into goose bumps, his eyes searching the lush carpet of trees covering the hills behind him. The shadows that hid the chaos below them. “Yu…kio?”

( _Contrary to popular belief, bonding doesn’t begin with intercourse – or a vow, for platonic ones._ )

“Okumura, in front of you!” Suguro yelled at him, and Rin’s attention focused on the building-like living thing whose sole purpose seemed to be exploding the ever-expanding sporangium, something he and the Aria exwire must stop soon.

( _It begins with a touch accompanied by eye contact. And grows with each interaction._ )

“Shit, why won’t it be unsheathed?” Rin vented his frustration at the Kurikara. Compared to his useless self, Suguro determinedly maintained the Earth Contract Seal (the only protection Kyoto had against the miasma). Quietly. Strongly.

Somewhere a distance from them Izumo stared at the summoned green man, made big by Shiemi, and thought in awe (though she would never admit it). ‘ _Just how powerful is she?_ ’

( _As the bond grows stronger, so would the mates it is bound with._

 _Until it calls for consummation._ )

* * *

 

10. 

The tug itched.

“Nii-” Yukio bit his lip before his moan got the better of him, choking his throat with the desire to be released.

As always, the older teenager continued sleeping unaware across him, sprawled just a room’s width distance away, always seeming so far. Unreachable.

( _The reason for the common misconception is that an unconsummated bond can be assumed nonexistent._ )

Yukio’s hands inadvertently sped up as his whole body burned. Telling him to seek what it longed for.

( _The strength of the bond after the consummation is a hundred, a million times more powerful. Bond partners would be able to borrow each other’s powers, influence and support each other through the connection which has been opened between them._ )

Reciting that line from the guidebook had always given Yukio the effect he wanted. The fire under his skin died as though it had been doused by a bucket of icy water. The teen removed his hands from his groin as though his genitalia was dirty, a demon to be tamed in its own rights.

‘Don’t succumb, don’t give up,’ Yukio told himself as he walked gingerly to the bathroom.

(I don’t want to be a demon.)

Or so the mantra went on.

* * *

 

11. 

Still, there was no escaping it.

* * *

 

12. 

“Yer exactly the type to turn into a demon by accident,” Shura said, a long time ago.

She was seldom wrong.

“Stop!” Rin struggled against the iron grip the True Cross Order exorcists had around his shoulders. “Where are you taking Yukio!?” he shouted at the Grigori, at the people who were hauling Yukio’s unconscious form away from view. "What are you going to do to him!?"

“He’s become a dangerous existence,” one of the hooded bastards said tonelessly. Like he was just announcing a train departure’s timing.

Rin couldn’t believe it. “He’s been your exorcist for how long, three years? He’s a good boy who’s never once done anything out of line! This is how you reward his loyalty?” he was fighting against his restraints in earnest now, blue flames beginning to appear in his eyes, his sharp ears lengthening. Screw caution, screw the fact that Rin was right in the middle of the lion’s den, surrounded by Upper-First-Class exorcists who could end him in a blink of an eye. The life of his precious brother was at risk.

“Indeed,” another hooded member of the Grigori echoed, “precisely because of Okumura-sensei’s loyalty, I believe he would not have wanted to continue existing as a demon.”

That statement made Rin falter. “Yu…kio…”

Shura’s snort cleared the confusion in his head. “Yer stupid if ye seriously believe that,” the knight stepped into the fray, the handle of her trusty sword firmly encased in her hand.

She intended to fight for Yukio. That gave Rin hope. He released the full extent of the blue flames.

“Wait a moment,” as usual, Mephisto arrived at the ruined former facility of the Illuminati fashionably late. He bowed to the Grigori, white robe billowing behind his tall form. “As Okumura Rin mentioned, Okumura Yukio has always been an excellent member of the True Cross Order, brilliant and devoted. I say this in my capacity as the Head of the Japanese Branch.” His eyes slid to the bespectacled boy’s prone body, tail lying limply by his side. “It is a waste to eliminate him, especially after he’s obtained such powers.”

Paladin Arthur’s expression turned indignant. “You’re only protecting your kind!”

“I've never been partial to demons,” Mephisto shrugged casually. “I’m just saying, keeping in view that the Illuminati is full of powerful exorcists who have transformed into more powerful demons, like Saburouta Toudou, having one of our own isn’t a bad idea.”

 _For research. To keep ourselves on even footing with our enemy._ The words were left unsaid, but understood by everyone present.

Rin gritted his teeth.

“Indeed…” the Grigori member said again. “But it’s useless if we can’t control him.”

“I have an idea,” the King of Time, the trickster, snapped his fingers, his smile slick as an eel. “We should let Okumura-sensei bond with his soulmate, and let his mate tether him to the humans’ side.”

TBC

Review please!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to update daily...if not regularly. When I can't, it means my work has become too demanding. I do try, tho. Even if only 500 words in a day.

13. 

“So I was wrong.”

Yukio turned around so fast it was a wonder he wasn’t whiplashed.

The carefree, menacing figure of Saburouta Toudou grinned at his opponent, the vermilion glow of Karura’s flame around his wavy hair brightened the unhinged expression on his young freckled face. “I was wrong. You don’t hate your brother,” he elaborated, then leaned forward, eyes gleaming like he was sharing a secret, a juicy gossip, “you can’t possibly hate him, because he’s the other end of your red string of fate.”

Shocked by Toudou’s intimidating proximity, Yukio recoiled backward, both hands still tightly wrapped around the barrels of his trusty Colt M1911. [1] Cursing the previous turns of events that separated him from his fellow exorcists under his breath, Yukio faced the demon with unflinching blue eyes. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” he said calmly.

Toudou scrutinized him, tilting his head to the side before his grin widened. “What a terrible liar you are, Okumura Yukio.”

Yukio gave no outward reaction, his eyes watching Toudou’s footwork and flames while his mind was whirling a mile a minute, speculating possible scenarios on how he could escape his enemy unscathed.

Toudou wasn’t done taunting him. “Not only that, I heard that your brother doesn’t know that you’re his soulmate. He goes around, fishing for girls’ sympathies with pitiful glances. ‘Woe be me, a soulmate-less, lonely boy…’” the sentence was followed by a loud, condescending laughter.

Yukio didn’t respond to Toudou’s speech, still.

Both of them didn’t attack, merely circling each other with keen gazes. The tension on Yukio’s spine was reaching excruciating levels of discomfort, his patience running thin.

“Wait a minute,” Toudou broke the silence, yet he had not moved closer. “May be I wasn’t wrong. You _do_ hate your brother.”

Yukio inhaled sharply, and tried to disguise it by prolonging his breath. “Are you finished?” he sniped, putting as much derision into his remark as possible. As though whatever the older male had said was boring him.

Toudou just looked surer of himself. “I’m right here, yet he doesn’t notice me,” he narrated in a slightly different tone, as though he was mimicking Yukio’s. “Sucks to be rejected by your own mate on a daily basis, isn’t it?” he leaned forward and lifted his foot, only to continue walking to the left and to the right, rather aimlessly.

Cold sweat dripped to Yukio’s temple, but he didn’t dare wipe it away and remove the aim of one of his guns from Toudou. “What a waste of time,” it took him almost his all to keep his voice from shaking. Toudou had hit _too_ close to home.

“Oh, but you don’t want the bond to be consummated either, don’t you?” now the demon was ignoring Yukio’s words too. “His demonic powers will _contaminate_ you if the connection is opened…and you can’t have that, can you?” Toudou clucked his tongue. “It’s so unfair. Why does _he_ have to be my soulmate?”

Yukio didn’t intend to be the first to shoot. But he was fed up with waiting, above all else.

Toudou moved so fast he was a flash a light to the untrained eye. Before Yukio could even widen his eyes, the demon already had the teen’s back pressed against his chest.

“Shall I…” his grin turned predatory as his hands curled around Yukio’s throat and left hand, “cut the rope for you?”

* * *

 

14.

Rin blinked.

“Yukio’s…soulmate?” the half-demon echoed.

“Yes,” Mephisto replied. Cockily, confidently.

Rin blinked again. He’d…never thought about it. Conceptually, he knew that Yukio, like any humans, might have a red string tied around his pinky connecting him to someone else somewhere. His special person.

Yet, Yukio never seemed to be looking.

And, shame on him to say this, lost in his own troubles as he was, Rin never asked.

_Because - jealousy of his brother's humanity aside - the thought of Yukio eventually leaving Rin to build his own family with the other half of his soul was...painful._

‘You idiot!’ Rin scolded himself in his mind. ‘The reason Yukio never had the time to look for his soulmate was because he had his plate full of me, his troublesome half-demon older brother!’

The only other time his chest felt this full of guilt was the moment Father Fujimoto’s casket was lowered to the ground.

“Do you know?” the Grigori’s question was directed at Rin. “If Okumura Yukio even has a soulmate? If she is alive? Who she is?”

“E-eh,” Rin panicked at being placed in the spotlight. “I-I…He…never mentioned…”

The other hooded members turned to Mephisto.

“I don’t know, either,” Mephisto shrugged, sounding too carefree for Rin’s liking. Yukio’s life was not something fickle.

A gleam entered his slit-like eyes, though, and made Rin revise his opinions on the King of Time. “We know of someone who do, though?”

Whispers broke amongst the exorcists. “The Matchmaker,” Rin heard the name mentioned repeatedly in hushed breaths.

The Grigori sighed. “Go deal with him yourselves. You have till tomorrow or the moment Okumura Yukio wakes and provide us the information himself, whichever is earliest.”

 _Provided he doesn't harm us upon waking up_ , was another unspoken statement in everyone's mind.

“Understood,” Mephisto bowed again, before he turned and walked away.

Rin and Shura followed him. “Who’s…the Matchmaker?” Rin whispered.

Shura folded her arms behind her head and bent her neck backward. “An annoying creep!” she cringed. “I’ll accompany ye to his place, but I won’t enter with ye, get it?”

“ _Nani_ ,” Mephisto chuckled. “With my gateways, it wouldn’t take much effort. _Eins, zwei, drei!_ ” He snapped his fingers again, to summon his magic this time (and not for, like, dramatic effects), and a huge door appeared before them, framed by a clockhouse.

Rin stared at the slowly opening door. And gulped.

“Let’s go!”

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I'm not sure if this is Yukio's guns' model. If you know, please tell me :).


	5. Chapter 5

15.

‘We haven’t taken a bath together for a long time…’

That was the first thought that entered Rin’s head when he saw his little brother’s nearly-naked form in the batting-centre-cum-practice-ground that day.

Well…okay, not the first. More like, the hundredth.

The first was, of course, ‘Oh, crap!’ Followed closely with, ‘dayum, those asses!’

Yes, ‘asses.’ As in, plural.

(Yes, Rin ogled his own brother’s wiry muscles as well as Shura’s curvaceous booties.) [1]

‘How demented can you be…’ Rin sighed to himself before keeping his gaze resolutely on those delicious globes peeking out of Shura’s pink frilly panties. A shame she wasn’t facing his way… “Wait, your clothes were burnt, but your bodies and underwear were untouched. Doesn’t this mean I have _some_ control?” he exclaimed triumphantly.

“Not at all!” Rin didn’t need to look at Yukio to know that he had one of those freezing, angry look on his face.

“I’ll bring some holy water.” Rin did look, however, when Yukio started to walk away. His eyes roamed that naked back freely, mesmerized by the fluid movement under the expanse of smooth skin, and couldn’t help but wonder if the rest of Yukio’s body had many moles like his chiseled face. Desire pooled low in his gut. He was almost sad to see the overcoat hiding Yukio’s firm, well-shaped ass from view.

“Why so worried? Aren’t ya used to the Scaredy-eyes’ anger?” Rin heard Shura grumble, her voice breaking the haze in his mind. “Give me yer shirt, rascal.”

The teen unbutton his clothes reluctantly. “Of course, I am. He’s got a stick up his ass!” Wrong thing to say. Now his imagination was acting vividly.

“Damn right.” Luckily, Shura wasn’t paying attention to him.

Rin sighed inwardly. ‘What’s wrong with me…?’

It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Yukio so scantily clad. In fact, they often bathed together when they were kids, and Rin didn’t feel like _this_   _(all hot and bothered)_ when he helped wash Yukio’s scrawny, fragile-seeming back, then.

And at one point, as they grew up, they stopped.

Even with the shared (gender segregated) bathroom at the dorm, they hadn’t been taking a bath together.

(Because Yukio always went home late.)

With this kind of guilt, Rin’s thoughts quickly left the gutter. ‘The next weekend we have, I’ll tell him to take more rest,’ he promised himself.

And about his inappropriate desire, well, if he leave it alone, it would take care of itself.

For now, Rin grinned at Shura and boldly gawked at the swell of her breasts tightly pressed against his shirt. There were plenty of distractions.

* * *

 

16.

Rin landed on his bum, the poor flesh smacking against the floor with a muffled thud.

“Ouch!” he complained as Shura and Mephisto made a more graceful entry.

“Be thankful there’s rug covering the wooden tiles,” the woman told him.

Rin was really, really tempted to stuck his tongue out toward her. He threw his face away from her with a ‘hmph!’ instead.

And was treated to the sight of a plethora of weirdly shaped tools, strewn all over the shelves, tables, any horizontal spaces that weren’t the ground.

“Wah!” Rin gaped as he rose to his feet. “What are these…?” he bent down to eye a roll of bandage better. There were words inked onto the off-white fabric. It didn’t look like a medical item. A scissor was lying next to it, various bells attached to the faded plastic handle. Rin reached out to touch it.

“If I were you, I’d rather not,” someone suddenly said from behind the shadows, “unless you want your red string of fate severed.”

A tall, lanky man appeared before the three of them, his straight hair dark as midnight, falling to his cheeks and chin. He was dressed in an equally dark robe, tangled black lines embroidered against deep purple covering his arms and legs. The only thing Rin could see clearly were his cat-like eyes, transparent blue, the only bright pinpoints of light in the dim space.

Overcame with shock, Rin reflexively recoiled from the scissor, nearly knocking against Mephisto who was standing behind him. When he came to himself, Rin only scratched his head and laughed. “Oh, but I don’t have any red string of fate.”

The man who couldn’t be anyone else but ‘the Matchmaker’ smirked as he approached them. “You’re so blind. Blissfully ignorant.”

“Huh?”

The Matchmaker had shifted his attention to Mephisto and Shura. “What pleasant surprises I receive today,” he said to the two of them, his tone suggestive. Unlike the vermillion-haired woman who had a huge scowl on her face, the Matchmaker looked incredibly pleased with himself. “How may I help you, Samael?”

Mephisto’s brow twitched. He was smiling in an easygoing manner, but Rin could sense he was irked. “We need to find out who is the soulmate of an unconscious person…or shall we say, a human who was just turned to a demon,” the King of Time baited.

“Hmm,” the Matchmaker found an untouched surface on a dresser and planted his elbow there, leaning on his hand like he was bored, contemplating if they were worth his time or not.

Rin’s heart was stuck in his throat. Mentally, he was preparing to beg. In the short tunnel of space they arrived here through, Shura warned him that the Matchmaker was an extremely heartless and capricious magician, who sold suspicious tools and was stingy with his assistance.

But it seemed, this time Rin didn’t have to get down to his knees yet.

“All right,” the cat-like man shrugged. “Lead me the way, half-demon.”

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This scene/drabble is all thanks to Psycho_Love’s comment for chapter 3. Without it, I wouldn’t have thought of it.


	6. Chapter 6

17.

“What are you getting Rin tomorrow, Yuki-chan?” Shiemi asked.

“Eh?” the Upper-Second Class exorcist blankly stared at the newly graduated Tamer Meister in his care.

Shiemi pouted. “Tomorrow is the anniversary of your bonding! Don’t tell me you forgot!”

Yukio gasped.

He…did. Forget.

“The first few years, I can understand. We were all so busy with the first wave of Illuminati’s attacks,” the blonde girl’s green eyes blanked, like she was lost in the past, until she shook her head. “Now that we are going through some peace, missing an anniversary is unforgivable!” she glared at him.

Her scolding was, at best, still cute. “Shiemi-san, you know…” he lost his words.

Her gaze turned understanding at once. “I know the circumstances of your bonding weren’t ideal, but that you’re connected to your soulmate, that’s worth celebrating!”

Yukio only sighed in response. He and brother were supposed to be soulmates, yet what they did in the humdrum of exorcism, when there were few Illuminati or Satan-related crises to be handled, was just arguing. They were both stubborn and they each had their own beliefs in how to treat demons… [1]

But Rin was always understanding, Yukio thought. He never uttered words like, ‘I was right!’ to Yukio when the younger male was proven wrong, let alone brag about it. Rin also patiently forgave, taking blames as they were, and not to teach Yukio a lesson. [2]

In contrast, Yukio always hung up to every fear that had come to pass, believing them a representation of the future…

“That constipated look again!” A different time, a different place. Shura heaved her breath at her colleague as he stoned behind the computer screen. “Rin will love anything you give him, ya noe.”

“Hah?”

Shura huffed out an uncontained laughter. “Whatever yer thinking is on yer face!” The knight poked him on the temple, right between his brows. “I told ya to stop worrying before y’got premature wrinkles!”

Though she missed a little, the well-endowed woman was still sharp. She’d always been.

“Why does everyone remember it?” Yukio muttered under his breath. ‘ _And not me?_ ’ A stab of guilt hit him under his ribcage.

Shura cackled. “Who wouldn’t? It was such a spectacle!”

Yukio’s face turned bright red. Before his blood vessels burst, he decided to ignore her teasing (as usual) and actually got down to thinking of presents.

‘ _Hmm…Kurikara looks like it needs some polishing. Come to think of it, Nii-san needs new boots, too… Oh a sewing kit may be a good idea, considering how many times he’s torn his clothes during missions over the past one month…_ ’

Wait.

Pause.

Why did Yukio only think of what Rin would need?

What about what Rin _wanted_?

Yukio’s mind went blank.

Something cold passed over him.

Yukio thought of what Rin could possibly do for him (if he didn’t forget the anniversary…wait, he wouldn’t, someone was bound to remind him – like they did Yukio): his favourite meals, a massage after a bath, a cuddle in bed with his chilly feet tucked under the furnace of Rin’s body. Things that comforted him, things Yukio wanted.

Deeds Yukio had no skills whatsoever (or right body type) to return in kind.

‘ _Nii-san_ ,’ Yukio wondered as his eyes fell onto the platinum ring on his pinky, fluorescent light making the runes etched on the metal gleam. ‘ _I’m really not a good bondmate material, am I?_ ’

The ring, of course, didn’t answer.

* * *

 

18.

Despite the fact that everyone was not-so-furtively eyeballing him, the Matchmaker sashayed confidently after Rin, Shura and Mephisto as they zigzagged through the maze that was Vatican’s True Cross Order’s makeshift camp at the Illuminati’s half-ruined facility.

Before the cat-like wizard even entered the operating theatre that housed the unconscious body of Yukio on the mattress, the former yawned. “That’s what got you so desperate? What a letdown.”

“What did you say!?” Rin’s fuse blew. He never reacted well to anyone badmouthing Yukio.

The Matchmaker blithely ignored the half-demon, and picked at his cuticles. “Not that interesting…or is it?” his transparent blue eyes twinkled in amusement.

“You-” Rin raised his fist. If it was clear that the wizard wouldn’t spare an effort for them, he would, without holding back-

Before Rin could throw the punch, his wrist was seized in an iron grip, the fingers curled around his wrist forceful and hurt like a bitch. “Oooww let go you dumbaaaas-”

Rin didn’t even get to finish his scream when the Matchmaker’s other hand grabbed the boy’s left pinky and yanked. Hard.

Rin scrunched his eyes closed, expecting his finger to be completely disjointed from his palm. When he didn’t feel any pain, he peeked out of one eye.

A bandage seemingly materialized from thin air from said pinky, magic written on the fabric in dull crimson ink, old and frayed. And that pinky itself was unharmed, unchanged, save for-

A red string, tied tightly around the base.

“Unsealed,” the Matchmaker looked so smug as he let go of the half-demon completely. “No need to thank me.”

But Rin didn’t even notice him anymore. His world boiled down to the single thread around his finger, the connection he had yearned for for the last ten years of his life. Everything else fell away. His wide eyes stared at it hungrily ( _afraid that it would disappear, so used was he to nothingness, to its absence; afraid that it was just his imagination_ ), following it as it trailed away from his pinky…

Straight to the pale, unmoving little finger of the teenager on the gurney.

A myriad of emotions and half-finished thoughts flashed through Rin’s mind, jumbling and tangling till he couldn’t pry them apart, couldn’t tell what to think, couldn’t tell if he was shocked relieved disgusted disappointed _elated-_

“What’s going on?” Someone asked, frantic and high-pitched, as Rin’s shoulders were shaken. Rin couldn’t register who it was. “What happened to Yuki-chan? How did things turn this way?”

“So who is Okumura Yukio’s soulmate?” Another voice asked, an older, raspy timber.

“Why don’t you asked the stunned guy?” A mocking reply.

“Rin-kun,” a calm voice took over. “Take a deep breath, Rin-kun.” He must have figured it out. “Are you Okumura-sensei’s soulmate?” [3]

“What!?”

“Bonding half-demons together, such a dangerous-”

“Incestuous? How sinful!”

“Wait, wait! Siblings as soulmates, that’s not unheard of-”

A cacophony of questions, comments, opinions, exploded all around them. Crowding in the noises in his head.

“Rin-kun!” That calm voice spoke loudly, overpowering the rest with the sense of urgency in his tone. “What colour is Okumura-sensei’s thread?”

That brought Rin out of the muddle. “Huh?” He raised his head, and was met with Mephisto’s serious amber-green gaze.

“Is it red? Or black?” he expanded patiently. “Humans’ threads are red…but those of Gehena…”

Rin caught on, and quickly studied the short distance of the thread between them again. “It’s red!” he exclaimed happily once he was almost halfway through. Some sighs of relief were released around them, until…

“There’s…” Rin stared at the ring of symbol wrapped around the midpoint of his (His!) and Yukio's red string, dense and full of spiky drawings he didn’t understand.

“There’s…what?” Arthur barked impatiently.

But Rin couldn’t hear the Paladin. His eyes were locked onto the other end of the string, the loop around Yukio’s pinky. The gradation was only an inch long, but… “It’s…” he couldn’t finish the word.

 _Black_.

The Matchmaker chuckled. “Told you…this may be interesting after all.”

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This is the feeling I got when I watched the movie.  
> 2\. And this is the feeling I got when I watched episode 3 of the anime, where they fought in the classroom as Rin discovered Yukio was an exorcist. Rin never raised an arm against Yukio in anime last episode also. In the ways that counted, he was the older brother.  
> 3\. I tell you, Mephisto very seldom call Rin by name. He almost always just says, ‘you’. Luckily I heard him say ‘Rin-kun’ at the end of episode 2. Otherwise I have no idea if he called Rin ‘Okumura-kun’ or ‘Rin’ or…plenty of variations! Ah, the details of Japanese…


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't write a lot today. I reached home later than 10pm. I promise things would be more dramatic in drabble/scene 20.

19.

“What are you getting the young teacher?” Suguro asked his training partner.

“Hah?” Rin responded with an unintelligible noise from his throat. His finger hovered over the button. “Why do you still call him ‘young teacher’? He isn’t our teacher anymore. In any case, are you ready?”

“Habit,” the tall, athletic young man with multiple piercings replied. He might have grown out of his blonde Mohawk, but he rather liked his earrings. Suguro finished lining up his loaded magazines and raised the semi-automatic pistols in his hands. He was better with bazooka, but well, sharpshooting skills had their uses. “I’m ready.”

Rin pressed, a grin on his face, before he passed his wooden sword to his dominant hand. “Let’s go!”

“Infinity Mode, selected,” the machine announced. And multiple baseballs flew toward them at an alarming speed.

Rin hit each of them with a loud thwack, the comforting sound of bullets colliding against their target coming from Suguro’s side. The knight was enjoying the chance to work some muscles when the Aria-Dragoon Meister spoke again. “Seriously, do you forget about tomorrow?”

“What’s happening tomorrow-” Rin began absently, his concentration on the baseballs, until he suddenly remembered. “Ah…the anniversary.”

Suguro chanced a peek at the other male. He didn’t expect the normally air-headed guy to realize on his own. “So?”

Rin smirked. “Of course, we will $3@#, and I will suck-”

A vein popped on Sugure’s temple. “Hey, keep it PG!” he yelled, his ears burning red.

Rin laughed and managed a shrug before he swung at another ball. “Let’s see…I’ll cook him his favourite food, give him a foot rub as he read those long and boring reports of his in front of the telly, then…hmm I’ll go with the flow.”

Suguro blinked and nearly missed his magazine as he reloaded one of his guns. “That’s…nice. But…not really special isn’t it?” he remarked after he recovered. “You cook for him every day. The pampering is, while not often, something you treat him to from time to time…”

Rin didn't respond. Suguro thought that the conversation had ended, but it turned out the half-demon was just thinking.

“A party with a bang is not Yukio’s style.” Suguro didn’t know if Rin noticed, but the knight had an incredibly tender expression on his face as he talked about his brother. His bondmate. His one and only brother and bondmate. “If anything, it’ll probably make that worrywart feel pressured to...’make it up’ to me. I gotta let him know I appreciate him in little ways,” Rin said and grinned at the other exorcist. [1]

And a ball sailed over his head, hitting the net behind him.

“Ah,” both Suguro and Rin exclaimed, the former in observation and the latter in a horrified tone.

“My lunch is on you!” Suguro declared first.

“No! It didn’t count! No!!” Rin whined as he circled the monk’s son, baseballs still whirling past them. “I was saying something so cool back there!”

Suguro hit the stop button of the machine, and scanned over his friend. His half-demon, Satan’s son of a friend, who had showcased more insights and capacity to love than he seemed physically capable of.

Conscious of being watched, Rin cocked his head. “…what?”

The taller man hid his smile with a sigh. “I’ll pretend I didn’t see that ball.”

“Oh!” Rin jumped in the air with a punch. “I knew it! Suguro-”

“Go out now and at least get the young teacher a present!” The Aria hid his embarrassment with an order.

“I will!” Rin headed to the exit, his tail wagging behind him. As he waved, the ring around his little finger caught the glint of the light.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. From the manga and anime, Yukio struck me as an ISTJ (http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTJ.html), and Rin an ESFP (http://www.personalitypage.com/ESFP.html). Anyways, Yukio struck me as an introvert, so he wouldn't appreciate being placed in the centre of attention. In contrast, I feel what Shiemi told Yukio in Ep 19 - 'I'm happy you were born' - was possibly more moving to him than cake and presents.


	8. Chapter 8

_Life’s a bitch, so if it’s easy, you’re doing it wrong  
Stop, which way is the world going? Then ignore it and go wherever (here we go)._

-Core Pride, UVERworld

* * *

 

20.

“W-what the hell is that!?” Rin pointed at the ring of spikes that rested between the red string of fate shared by him and Yukio. Rin sensed powers terribly eerie and repulsive emanating from it, like a ball of hatred and other negative emotions. “I’m sure it’s that thing’s fault!”

( _It’s easier to focus on fixing what’s wrong, instead of figuring out of what he was feeling. What he should be feeling._ )

“Could you explain what you see first!?” Arthur shouted exasperatedly, his shoulders tensed. His fellow Upper-First Class exorcists were similarly poised. They looked ready to bolt.

“Ah, that symbol is the result of a magic item I used to sell, I believe,” the Matchmaker blithely chose to not read the atmosphere and aggravated everyone with more cryptic sentences. “But if you’re talking about your unconscious-kun’s thread’s colour…that’s not the symbol’s fault.”

Rin snapped at the blue-eyed magician and seized him by the collar in the blink of an eye. “Stop beating around the bush!” he snarled so forcefully one could hear the taller man’s bones rattle. “Why on earth would you sell tools that suspicious? It feels totally disgusting.”

“Suspicious?” the Matchmaker sounded miffed. He dislodged his captor by flicking his middle finger against Rin’s temple, sending the teenager to his bottom. “That tool was crafted for good!”

“Ouch!” Rin rubbed at his reddened skin and gaped, but quickly pulled out of his amazement. “How so!?”

“Strings of fate don’t get cut when the person at the other end die, you know?” the Matchmaker heaved a deep breath, “you’re reminded of the loss every time you accidentally look at it…and can’t move on with life. That’s quite common.”

As he spoke, the mood shifted southward a little. A few of the exorcists around them dropped their gazes to their own pinkies, their expressions bleak.

“And so,” the Matchmaker began again, “my tool cuts them. Strings that have already turned black.”

“Ha…” Rin didn’t react for a while, until his eyes widened. He looked horrified. “You mean-”

One of the Grigori sighed, interrupting the dialogue that only revolved around the two of them, like Rin and the Matchmaker were in a bubble of their own. “Judging from your conversation, it seems Okumura Yukio’s thread has started to blacken,” the hooded figure deduced.

Rin flinched again before he gritted his teeth, his fists clenching. He closed the distance between him and the gurney, warily eyeing the Grigori and the Paladin for the first time since the blinds that prevented him to see his thread was unsealed. The first time he registered their presence again.

“So it’s concluded,” Arthur wrapped one hand around his Excalibur. “Okumura Yukio has turned to a demon.” He leaned forward, adjusting his stance.

Rin turned his back fully against his brother, shielding him from the rest of the Order. Blue flames started entering his eyes.

“Don’t be so trigger-happy, baldy,” Shura, who had been hovering quietly in observation, interfered. Rin was thankful she could be depended on to defend Yukio.

“Well, she’s right. No need to be hasty,” Mephisto placed himself between the Paladin and his half-brothers. “He may be more demonic than human now, but Okumura-sensei hasn’t completely lost himself to his demon, yet. I’m 100% demonic, and my string is pitch black, but I’m on your side, am I not?” He opened his arms in a wide gesture.

The Grigori and Arthur only responded with guarded stares.

The Matchmaker snickered. “You’re so loved, Samael,” he patted the taller male on the shoulder mockingly.

The King of Time narrowed his eyes at the cat-like wizard. “In any case,” he continued after deciding to ignore the Matchmaker. “The idea I suggested still works. As Okumura-sensei’s bondmate, Rin-kun who has had to deal with his demonic powers longer and learned better how to control them and stay human, will be a stabilizing force.”

Members of the Vatican Order around them broke into whispers again. Contrarily, the solution did not make them look eased at all.

“This looks bad,” Konekomaru, who was standing at a corner not faraway together with the other exwires, all of them trying to piece together an explanation despite having only been reunited with the Okumura brothers after the Matchmaker entered the picture. This mission was way more chaotic than Kyoto. “Okumura-kun isn’t exactly a sterling example of trustworthiness to the Vatican…”

Suguro gulped, his hand keeping Shiemi’s still as the girl worried, helping her ground herself. “But he defeated the Rot Prince for the Order,” he frowned. “Surely…”

The monk’s son fell silent as one of the Grigori began to speak. “Let’s say, we’re taking this risk,” her voice was, thankfully, firm. She knew she had to sound confident for the organization. “What type of bond will be our best bet?”

“You’re smart, but also not,” the Matchmaker tutted. “They already share a filial bond. If the Nii-san is serious about wanting to exert influence on his Otouto to help control the demon, a platonic bond is out of the question. It’s too weak.”

“So the romantic bond is our only option,” the Grigori insisted on spelling it out in the open. As she said it, she kept her face toward Rin.

“That’s right,” the Matchmaker, too, turned to the knight-in-training.

And they weren’t the only ones to do so. In fact, now the whole room seemed to have their eyes on Rin.

“Eh?” Rin stepped back, conscious of the weight of all the stares. “Then…we should wait until Yukio wakes, right?”

“There is no need,” the soulmate expert shrugged. “As long as the bonding spells are set up, a kiss on the lips will initiate the consummation ritual. After the initiation, both parties would be compelled to complete the bonding. This means, the initiation would also wake him up,” he waved vaguely in Yukio’s direction.

Rin blanched, his back hitting the mattress. His hands scrabbled for support, and settled on the edges of the gurney, the fingers of his right hand touching Yukio’s bare skin. All of a sudden, he felt a little lighter. “I still want to ask Yukio first.” Thanks to that, he was able to exert his opinion and hold his grounds against the Grigori and the rest of the Order, his gaze strong.

Rin’s response only sent the Matchmaker to a hysterical laughter. “You’re so funny!” he laughed so hard tears actually leaked out of his luminous eyes. “You don’t know your position at all, do you? We don’t know how fast the blackness is going to spread from his end to yours,” he touched the string, actually bringing it closer to Rin’s face like it was a tangible thing. The sensation felt so violating Rin cringed. “And once that blackness hit my symbol…” he brought his hands together to a prayer position, fingers locked tightly together, only to yank them apart dramatically. “Bam! That’s what will happen to your string! If you consummate, you have a chance of overpowering my symbol. Otherwise...”

Suddenly, Rin felt like the floor beneath him had given way…and he was freefalling. To finally, _finally_ know that there was someone only for him, that he wouldn’t be alone, to have that taken away from him again so soon…

“B-but-” he choked in despair, his chest so tight it was hard to breathe. “Y-you’re suggesting I just…initiate sex with him while he’s under? That’s r-rape!” Releasing the word was _so_ hard. Like pulling a tooth.

The Matchmaker waved his hand flippantly again. Rin really, really wanted to beat the shit out of him. “That’s your choice. Now, my part is done. Samael, take me home!” the whimsical man dragged the King of Time out of sight.

Rin dropped to the floor, his knees giving out, and seemingly crumpled into a ball. Yukio would hate him. He didn’t want to hurt Yukio. He didn’t want to lose Yukio, either. Everything seemed hopeless.

In his desperation, his eyes sought for his brother, the person he’d spent most of his life with. The rise and fall of Yukio’s chest comforted him for a while, until his eyes inadvertently fall on the dragoon’s hand, one of the few parts of his body not covered by clothes or the bedding.

And Rin’s heart plunged to the floor.

Because the black had grown several inches down.

TBC

Review please!


	9. Chapter 9

_Hey girl_   
_My name is Kevin_   
_Did you fall down from heaven?_   
_'Cause so did Satan_

Roomie, scrapped song ideas

* * *

 

21.

“Wait,” Mephisto told the male walking ahead of him in the space tunnel bridging the laboratories they just left to the exotic comforts of the robed magician’s home. “Weren’t you too harsh to them,” the tall demon pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “Azazel?” [1]

The King of Spirits smirked. “Not at all, Aniue.”

“They’re our brothers, you know,” the King of Time caught up with the wayward demon, who sided with neither the humans nor Lucifer.

Azazel looked at his elder brother like the latter was slow. “Because they’re our brothers, we should tease them.”

Mephisto resisted the urge to smack his face with his palm. He’d forgotten how sadistic the blue-eyed demon was. Indeed, if Amaimon’s temporary form was a hamster’s, Azazel’s would be a cat’s.

“Speaking of brothers…” said blue eyes were sparkling mischievously at him. “What do you intend to do about the boobie-babe, Aniue?” the lanky demon flashed his taller kin a lewd grin.

Mephisto sighed again. He knew the conversation would head this way. “How about nothing?” he raised his left hand, and removed his glove. The little finger exposed by his action flickered, before revealing multiple loops of strings, all tied around the base, breaching off to different directions [2]. “You know my connections are numerous.”

And the last time he went after two of them, well…his alias’ namesake met his demise, and his companion, he had to let die.

( _He chose to let die._ )

It was Azazel’s turn to sigh. “So cut them or go after them again,” he crossed his arms, miffed. “It’s unlike you to do nothing, Aniue.”

Mephisto’s only reply was a sardonic smile.

( _You’re wrong, Otouto. As a chess master, my best ability was to wait till the pieces come together._ )

* * *

 

22. 

Okumura Yukio was a ticking bomb.

To the Vatican’s True Cross Order, the longer they wait, the more certain they felt that the tall, leanly-muscled, highly-skilled doctor-cum-dragoon would go berserk the moment he opened his eyes, and wield destruction in the wake of his smart brains. As the threat, he was best dealt with when he was still asleep, helpless and unable to retaliate in defense.

To Rin, the longer he wait, the shorter the distance of red got to the spiky, nauseating contraption that would severe him from the one person who was born for him.

No. Born so he could be a companion to.

“What are we waiting for!?” Arthur Auguste Angel threw one hand toward the unconscious teenager, who now had his hands, feet and torso strapped to the gurney. “The Satan’s spawn is clearly unwilling to initiate the consummation! We should diffuse the bomb before it detonates-”

The statement got Rin out of his flunk. He rose to his tallest height and bristled at the Paladin. “Yukio is a human! Don’t you ever refer to him as a bomb!”

The long-haired blonde was taken aback for a second before he returned hotly. “No, he’s a demon! A catastrophe waiting to happen!”

Rin was so angry his sight was turning blue. He snarled and swung his fist. “Shut-”

“Step back, you baldy!” Shura got between the two hot-blooded men, and smacked them on the face with her palms. “You too, Rin!”

Shocked by the woman’s audacity, the male knights obeyed her reflexively. The fleeting moment of confusions was enough for the vermilion-haired ninja to steer the younger male to another corner. “Give us fifteen minutes,” she ordered the room in general without sparing them a glance.

Nobody moved, aside from turning their heads to each other for with questioning eyes.

“Now!” she barked, her voice a hundred times louder.

“Let’s go,” one of the Grigori took the cue, and ushered the exorcists out.

Suguro laid a hand on Konekomaru when the bespectacled monk was going to leave. “We’re staying,” Shiemi, too, had the same resolute gaze as she faced Shura head on.

They had only just found each other for less than a year, yet the soulmates had unknowingly become so synchronized.

(Or, may be, _because_ they were aligned, they were soulmates.)

Shura gave them a nod. “Close the door. And come closer.”

Silence fell upon them as they waited for the room to clear. Only after Shura checked that nobody was listening in (though everyone was still watching through the two-way mirror of the operating theatre, she could tell), she faced the son Shirou entrusted her with. “Do you still remember your goal?”

Her cold voice and proper figure of speech made Rin gape. This must be the first time he heard her speaking to him that way. “Yes…?”

Her violet irises turned harsh. “Where is your resolve? You said you want to defeat Satan!”

Rin began to catch on. “Yes! To become Paladin and to defeat Satan!” he stood up straight and renewed his vow to himself. His eyes hardened as they fell on his teacher. “But not at the cost of anyone else! I train as an exorcist so that nobody has to die in my place!”

Shura crossed her arms. “That’s not enough!” her facial expression didn’t budge. “Your stand isn’t clear enough! What do you wish for Yukio? What do you believe he _wants_?” she asked rapidly.

The last question was like a slap on Rin’s face. Because he hadn’t been thinking of what Yukio wished for at all; he’d been thinking of himself.

“…I-” the half-demon looked down at his shaking hand, then peered at Yukio’s still form. “I…I don’t want to lose him,” his voice was shaking.

“Nngh…”

As the two of them talked, a moan was heard from the mattress. Everyone turned his or her heads to find droopy turquoise eyes blinking blearily at them.

“…Nii…san?” a voice croaked, brittle and fragile.

“Yukio!” the relief that flooded into his chest was so tremendous Rin almost had no strength to stand and support his own weight. He basically draped himself over his younger brother. “I’m so glad you’re awake!”

But his happiness wasn’t shared by the taller Okumura, it seemed, because Yukio’s eyes were filled with terror. “I-it…wasn’t a dream…” he whispered weakly as he took in the straps, the tail lying next to his legs, the claws on his hands, and the weird symbol around his string. Suddenly he jerked, rattling the gurney hard, and screamed as he was engulfed in a blue flame. “Aarrghh!”

“Yukio!” as the exorcists poured back into the room, Rin climbed on top of his twin and grabbed his biceps. “Take a deep breath and calm down! Focus away from your fears and panic!”

Thankfully, Yukio seemed to still be able to understand Rin’s instructions. He inhaled sharp, long breaths and scrunched his eyes, but the situation didn’t improve.

“Damn!” Rin couldn’t keep the curse in his throat anymore. The dragoons and knights of Vatican had raised their weapons against them. “We have no choice! Let’s consummate our soul bond!”

Yukio, who had been wriggling and shaking since the flame engulfed him, unexpectedly froze. Perfectly still as a statue.

“Ah…” his gasp was quiet as a breeze as his eyes zeroed in on Rin’s little finger. “It’s unsealed.”

A sharp stab of anger hit Rin’s chest and gnawed under his ribcages, causing a growl to escape from his mouth. Why was he even surprised that Yukio had always known that they were soulmates, but never revealed this knowledge to Rin? This was the boy who had hidden the fact that he could see demons from his brother for fifteen years after all.

Quiet and cold, as his namesake.

( _Why?_ )

( _Why had he kept it a secret?_ )

Rin swore that they _would_ have words about this, but now was not the time. “Hurry!” he leaned forward to plant his lips on the other boy's.

The blue flame, which didn’t feel hot to Rin, suddenly spiked, and released gusts of wind so fast, so strong they were as piercing as swords. Before Rin knew it, he had already been thrown off across the room, his back hitting solid wall.

Out of his restrictions, Yukio flew to his feet, his ears and horns lengthening as the blue flames burned brighter around him.

As several exorcists nearest to him started attacking him, Yukio gave his older brother, who was catching his breath against the wall, an emotionless stare.

“No,” he stated, his soft voice flat and final.

Then he disappeared through the door.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The King of Spirits are kin to Ghosts, who are demons possessing vapours emitted by corpses. Ghosts are mostly lingering emotions of the dead, so this led me to believe that if there was one of the eight Demon ‘Kings’ who can manipulate strings of fate, it would be Azazel.  
> 2\. Some of you may remember in scene 20 Mephisto mentioned, “my string is pitch black.” Japanese grammar don’t enforce having a plural form. Well in some cases, ‘tachi’ is added to pronouns…but they may not be compulsory. For example, here, Mephisto was saying, “Waga ito wa kuroi desuga…” The noun ‘ito’ can be ‘string’ or ‘strings’.
> 
> A/N: I want to apologise in advance because I don't think I will be able to update on Saturday night...my Saturday and Sunday schedule is too packed. As compensation, today's update was longer. I hope that's enough!


	10. Chapter 10

_If I can go on without losing my way,_  
 _I don't mind if my heart is broken to pieces._  
 _I want a spell_  
 _That can let me fight against_  
 _The sorrow that is always in front of my eyes._

Magia, Kalafina

* * *

 

23. 

Rin couldn’t lift his eyes from his little finger.

He was afraid that his string would disappear when he wasn’t looking.

“Where is he?” Arthur questioned Satan’s son, his voice harsh with frustration. “Where did he turn to now?”

The string, which had been moving erratically and spinning 360 degrees as Yukio dodged various exorcists and ran from them, had stayed still for a while. “The string has stopped moving,” Rin replied, worrying if Yukio had been captured and was awaiting death, or he’d escaped the building and was heading far away in one direction, causing the string to appear unmoving.

The Paladin must have come to the later conclusion, because he cursed profanely.

However, after turning the corner, Rin was thankful to see the tall, bespectacled teen standing on top of a pile of rubble from a hole on the floor which had been blown to bits one storey above.

The relief was short-lived, though, because Yukio had Konekomaru in his grasp, one arm pressed threateningly against the Aria-in-training’s neck.

“Don’t come closer!” Yukio’s flaming blue gaze were all danger and no warmth. Rin didn’t know if the other half-demon even recognized him as his older brother. “Leave us alone!” he demanded as he inched backward, closer to a door at the hallway behind them.

Scared for the hostage, none of the dragoons shot. In a couple of seconds, Yukio succeeded in kicking the door open before throwing himself and his student inside.

Rin quickly ran after them, but the doorknob wouldn’t budge under his hands.

“Yukio, open up!” he shouted in panic, “we have to consummate our soul bond now, or our thread will be cut!”

There was no answer from the other side for a while, until Yukio’s voice could be heard, loud and clear. “Then let it be!”

If there was any hope in Rin that Yukio wished to be with him (may be, he’d misheard the genius earlier?), it was shattered upon hearing that declaration.

As Rin’s head drooped in depression, Arthur turned to a fellow exorcist. “Is there any windows in that room? Any doors connecting to other rooms?”

“Wait,” the bespectacled curly-haired Middle-Second class consulted a few of his colleagues before he returned with answers. “The recce team said no windows and no doors.”

Arthur nodded to himself. “Any way of knowing what’s happening inside?”

“They’re checking whether the video surveillance system still works,” the Paladin was replied immediately.

“Good,” a grin finally appeared on the blonde man’s face.

“Now, it’s a waiting game.”

* * *

 

24.

Konekomaru’s head was spinning.

One moment, he was standing near the door of the operating theatre, watching Kirigakure-sensei verbally abuse Okumura-kun into decisiveness, and the next, he was already flung over Okumura-sensei’s broad shoulder, watching his flaming back upside down as his captor cut through the hallways like a bullet he so often fired.

His world was, once again, scrambled out of shape. The first time it happened was during the death of his parents, and the last time was when he discovered that Okumura-kun was Satan’s son.

Konekomaru never expected that he would have to fear his teacher, too. The calm-headed, knowledgeable, dependable Okumura Yukio.

‘It’s the end,’ the bald Aria-in-training scrunched his eyes closed when the door to the room the demon would imprison him (them) in swung shut. ‘Mother, Father in heaven!’ he called them inwardly.

Instead, the unyielding arm left Konekomaru’s neck.

“I won’t hurt you,” the demon said as he slumped against the wall opposite to the door, turquoise eyes watching the furniture, “as long as you stay inside this room.” He looked completely lucid, the blue flame that had been rising to the ceilings as he fought like a crazed maniac now dying ambers. Even his ears and horns were shorter.

Konekomaru gingerly put some distance between them, finally settling midway between the door and his warden.

The exwire didn’t dare to breathe for a while, his back and legs tense. Minutes passed with nothing happening, before Okumura-sensei leaned his head back with a thud, exposing the long, white line of his neck. The movement made Konekomaru jump out of his skin, until he dared to peek at the taller male and realized his captor’s eyes weren’t open.

“Stay,” Okumura-sensei said, as though sensing Konekomaru’s thoughts. “There’s only one exit, and I assure you, I can catch you before you’re through.”

 _Precisely_ , Konekomaru frowned in puzzlement. There was only one exit; there was nowhere for Okumura-sensei to run, either. Konekomaru believed that his teacher, the youngest man recorded to ever attain the exorcist certificate, wasn’t stupid.

Konekomaru gulped and braved himself. Okumura-sensei was still there, inside the flaming blue figure, and the exwire had faith that his teacher wouldn’t let the demon harm him. “It’s a waiting game,” he stated the truth bluntly. _What are you trying to achieve?_

The taller male shrugged and took off his broken glasses. “That’s good enough,” he replied, his voice absent.

Abruptly, Konekomaru realized that his teacher wasn’t acting on logic, he was acting on impulses. And his whole objective was to…

 _Sever the bond with his soul mate_.

Konekomaru shuddered. “W-why?” He hadn’t met the other end of his string. He didn’t know if he would even get to; some people spent their whole lives tracing, yet couldn’t. But the hope that he might…that alone got him through the worse loneliness after the death of his parents.

Okumura-sensei didn’t reply.

The silence made the voices in Konekomaru’s head grew louder. A twin brother…may be that was too close...and Okumura-sensei was uncomfortable? Konekomaru couldn’t imagine having Renzou or Bon as his soulmate. Or...was it because Okumura-kun was Satan's son? No matter that Okumura-sensei had grown up with him, as someone born human, having Satan's son as soulmate...it must be scary. Konekomaru couldn't put himself in Okumura-sensei's shoes, no matter how much he tried.

And until just now, hadn’t Okumura-kun always been unaware of the existence of…

Something cold passed through Konekomaru.

_What’s lonely is not only being orphaned._

“In Kyoto, during our run in with the Rot Prince…” Okumura-sensei suddenly began. Konekomaru perked up and paid him his full attention, despite his confusion with the non-sequitur. “My eyes burned with the blue flame when I almost died in Toudou’s hands.”

Konekomaru inhaled sharply. _So Okumura-sensei isn’t human after all?_

“I thought of three possibilities, afterwards,” the taller male went on, almost monotonously. “The first being Nii-san’s powers rushing in through our connection when he was subconsciously aware that I was in peril.”

“That’s impossible!” Konekomaru blurted reflexively, and quickly shut up when Okumura-sensei glanced at him.

But Konekomaru’s captor only huffed, seemingly in amusement. “The most common misconception is a bond only exists after consummation,” he sounded like a teacher again, then. “Truth is, eye contact accompanied by a touch is enough. Of course, the powers of the bond after consummation are so much stronger that an unconsummated bond can be considered nonexistent,” he recited.

“Oooh,” Konekomaru hummed in understanding. He missed learning something new from this person.

“I too, could sometimes sense when Nii-san gets into trouble,” his expression looked nostalgic for a moment, before Okumura-sensei shook himself out of it. “Anyways, my other speculations are…that I am, indeed, not 100% human. Or Satan possessed parts of me to…” his face turned dark as he spoke, the emotion in those eyes chilling Konekomaru. “Save his investment,” but Okumura-sensei ended detachedly, like he always did before the throes of wrath caught him.

“Invest…” Konekomaru didn’t understand.

An empty smile spread on the taller male’s face. “While I was under the Illuminati’s custody, Lucifer told me,” all life seemed to have left his eyes, then, “he said, as his half-human sons, Nii-san and I are the perfect vessels for Satan.”

A flashback of the blue night, the night that took away his parents, entered Konekomaru’s mind. Fear, empathy, anger, jumbled up together.

 _It’s so unfair,_ his thoughts finally coalesced to.

The conclusion surprised the bald-headed teen. ‘What is so unfair?’

“I’m no closer to knowing why, then or now,” Okumura-sensei appeared to be closing his soliloquy. “If these are Nii-san’s overflowing powers, once the rope is cut I will return to being human. If these are my own heritage or Satan's...” he trailed off, “in any case, having a consummated bond throw these powers between us in a loop is not a good idea.”

‘That,’ Konekomaru realized.

( _In your life, what decisions have you made purely for yourself?_ )

Okumura-sensei had always seemed aloof to Konekomaru ever since he set foot into the Exorcist Cram School. He was always with other teachers, leading missions, giving instructions and guidance. Even during the school festival or (not) Kamiki-san’s birthday party, he had stood to the side.

An introvert himself, Konekomaru understood the need to energize himself through solitude, yet there were moments he goofed off with Bon and Renzou, kitty-talking with Kuro, and generally enjoyed being a teenager.

Yet, Konekomaru had never seen Okumura-sensei as one.

“Yukio-kun,” the bald exwire called the other teen by his given name for the first time. _I’m sorry_ , he apologized silently. “You’re fifteen years old, you know.”

“Huh?” the turquoise-eyed boy looked so surprised. “W-what are you-”

Konekomaru got up from his perch, and voluntarily approached the taller student. “You’re free to skip classes, watch movies, swim at the beach during summer holidays,” he listed as he grew closer, “fool around, go on dates,” Konekomaru wrapped his arms around his _friend_ , “fall in love.”

Yukio froze in his hug, and struggled. “Miwa-san-”

“If you cut the rope because you don’t _want_ to be bonded to Okumura-kun, that’s fine,” Konekomaru refused to let go. “Okumura-kun’s loud, reckless, emotional…”

“Hey!” Yukio’s indignant tone made Konekomaru chuckle.

The exwire cleared his throat. “In reverse,” he interrupted Yukio’s complaint, “If you want to, you should. Yukio-kun, you have to live  _your_  life.”

( _Be more selfish, please._ )

Silence dawned upon them. Konekomaru stayed in his position until his legs felt cramped and he sensed the figure in his arms shaking. When he looked down, he saw that Yukio was…laughing.

“…Thanks, Konekomaru,” his voice sounded wet.

Konekomaru sighed.

_The rest depends on you, Okumura-kun._

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this seems to drag on and on. I'm trying to reveal Yukio's thoughts without it seeming like an information dump.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of today, this fic is rated Mature. Scene/drabble 27 is the only one containing a semi-sex scene for now, but there will be at least one more in the future, so.
> 
> Some of you may realise I've been editing released chapters. Well, this is the downside to updating everyday; no time to proofread. I may add a sentence here and there, change some words, but there shouldn't have been a huge difference, no worries.

_I’m losing sight of this eerily familiar pain._  
 _As I lose my way, I wander. To the left? Or to the right?_  
 _Wishes mix with the buzzing in my ears,_  
 _And my fall isn’t slowing down._

Wired Life, Meisa Kuroki

* * *

 

25. 

For as long as Yukio could remember, his life had been spiraling out of control.

 _Like it was a long, long fall_.

Having received _masyou_ in his mother’s womb, Yukio was literally born with one foot in Gehena, with unwanted clairvoyance skills. Along with a twin brother whose body hosted Satan’s powers. And said brother being his soulmate.

Yukio never had any say.

If he were born to a normal Japanese couple, maybe he would still be striving to be a doctor. Or maybe he would be an engineer or an investment banker. His soulmate would be a gentle-hearted girl like Shiemi. Maybe he wouldn’t get to meet his soulmate and ended up marrying a considerate woman in his thirties.

Maybe, maybe.

The reverse could also happen. In another world, perhaps he was never alive. Satan might have intended for just one half-human to be born as his vessel, and God interfered by splitting that soul to two (and that was why they were each other’s half). Perhaps Rin was meant to feed off him, like a sand tiger shark embryo. After all, in 21% to 30% twin pregnancies, one of the fetuses vanished in the first 12 weeks.

( _Rin had let him live._ )

As Yukio grew older, he stopped thinking of what ifs. The helplessness he’d felt as a child lessened considerably, his pistols and potions a comforting weight around his waist. Father’s death was tragic, but it didn’t bring the teen off kilter. He knew – _they_ knew – that Father was preparing Yukio to take his place.

( _The only one surprised was Nii-san._

 _Nii-san, who had no say either._ )

‘Ne, Tou-san,’ Yukio thought as he peeked at the sky over Konekomaru’s shoulder, a patch of blue visible from a chip in the wall near the ceiling. ‘If we’re both humans, what do you think Nii-san would dream to be? What kind of person would he wish as his soulmate?’

As Yukio closed his eyes, Toudou’s face and Lucifer’s voice haunted him.

_I was never not lost, am I?_

The fall continued.

* * *

 

26.

“Again?” Shura groaned at the boy drooping at a corner of the room, while the Vatican’s best technicians were putting their best efforts to repair the surveillance system. “Yer situation is no different from an hour ago, y’know?”

That, at least, got a spark to ignite in Rin’s eyes. The teen glared at the First-Upper Class knight. “How is it the same?” he bristled. “Yukio had clearly said-”

“So you’ll just let the _Bibiri-megane_ go?” Shura cut him off. “Y’know he’s just scared-”

“He’ll hate me!” Rin jumped to his feet and swung his arm out in a wide gesture, venting out his exasperation.

“Idiot…” Suguro stepped forward. For a second, he looked reluctant, but he let out his opinions anyway. “Either your bond gets cut or the young teacher resents you for going against his decision…You’ll lose him both ways.”

Rin flinched, and slumped back down.

Someone dropped to their knees in front of him, a gentle hand touching his shoulder. Rin looked up to find the gentle, kind Shiemi, smiling soothingly at him. “Think of it this way, Rin…I don’t like that Yuki-chan may be hurt through one of your choices,” pain marred her expression as she thought of her treasured friend. She patched back her smile as she returned her gaze to Rin. “But…because you may lose him either way, you’re free to choose whatever is you feel is best for you…and for Yuki-chan.”

Rin blinked.

He…never saw it that way.

(Yet, if he didn’t understand why Yukio rejected him in the first place, how was he-)

“We have a live feed!” Someone behind the monitors exclaimed.

Rin crossed the room like he’d flown, crowing the space with the Paladin and other arch knights. His heart rose to his throat when he saw Yukio lying on the floor as Konekomaru paced around, seeming jittery and impatient.

“The target looks exhausted,” Arthur declared triumphantly. “Be prepared to retrieve the hostage!”

“Wait!” Rin stopped the long-haired blonde man. “Let me go in there!”

“You’ve failed before!” The stronger exorcist rebuffed him. “We’re not trying your crazy method anymore-”

“THAT’S MY SOULMATE THERE!” Rin shouted.

The whole room fell silent.

A bold, strong gaze challenged Arthur. “If you’re in the same position,” this boy, this half-baked exwire, dared stand in his way, “would you stay out?”

Arthur stared back, testing his expression, his determination, before he eventually sighed. “One last chance.”

Rin tightened his grip around Kurikara.

_No room for doubt._

* * *

 

27.

“Happy anniversary!” Rin welcomed his bondmate cheerfully at the door, donning his blue apron. A delicious aroma wafted from the kitchen.

Yukio smiled back at him. “Happy anniversary, Nii-san.” He leaned down to meet his lips when Rin tilted his head toward the taller male. “Here,” Yukio passed him a wrapped box.

Rin tore into it enthusiastically. “Wah!” he stared at the combat boots in awe, and immediately tried them on. “They’re so cool! And sturdy!” he commented as he jumped on the spot, testing the product. Yukio always had a knack of knowing what would be useful for Rin. “Thanks, Yukio!” he grinned.

“A-ah,” typical of his younger brother, to receive his gratitude awkwardly. Well, that in itself was adorable, Rin thought as warmth bubbled in his chest.

The evening went on without a glitch. Kuro, Ukobach and Yukio ate the meals Rin had prepared happily. They proceeded to the living room without fanfare, either.

Rin watched the pink shell of his brother’s slightly sharp-tipped ear in anticipation and licked his lips as he pressed the heel of the long, arced foot in his lap. The sharp breath Yukio took excited him. “Yukio,” he leaned closer to his bondmate, preparing to seduce him with all his might. “Shall we…?”

The kiss Rin received surprised him. Yukio was normally reserved with his sexual desires, especially out of the bedroom. Hell, public displays of affection embarrassed him to the point of discomfort.

Yet, tonight his tongue invited Rin’s in as he climbed over the slenderer man’s lap on the coach, his cool, broad hands slipping under Rin’s shirt. The touch on his naked skin made Rin shudder and overcome with desperation to get. Naked. Now. “Tch!” he stopped fussing over the buttons after he got the black overcoat off his bondmate and yanked Yukio’s shirt off, sending those tiny circular plastics flying all over the room.

Rin waited for the taller man’s scolding, or at least a cluck of his tongue, but none was forthcoming. In fact, Yukio looked distracted, the smooth skin of his torso flushed redder than usual.

“Yukio?” Rin hummed against his partner’s collarbone, his lips starting his favourite game of ‘connecting the moles’, licking and biting away. “What’s wrong-” he mumbled…

And froze as he shoved one hand in Yukio’s trousers.

_Is that…lace?_

Rin had never unzipped and yanked down anyone’s trousers as fast as this, even when he’d been dying for a piss for ten minutes.

And the sight that greeted him made his mouth water: the shape of his soulmate’s arousal, tightly straining against silky, feminine panties lined with frills and a tiny, perfect blue bow.

“Y-your other p-pre-present,” Yukio sounded unbelievably nervous.

Rin couldn’t stop gaping as he wrenched his eyes away from his lover’s groin to his face. “…” no sound exited Rin’s mouth. He was rendered speechless.

Yukio mistook the silence and quickly pulled up his trousers again. “Sorry for the weirdness,” he rushed, his cheeks red as a tomato.

 _No! Nonono_ \- “No!” Rin finally managed and pulled the offending trousers back down so hard it was a wonder the fabric hadn’t tore apart. “I, I-” he stuttered as he stared at the soft blue panties, still amazed, before giving up on words altogether, and latched on Yukio’s dick, sucking through the silk.

“Nnii-san-” Yukio keened breathlessly, his gasp ending in a high-pitch so soft Rin had to strain his ears to hear them. Rin loved it when _he_ could make the calm-headed male lose control in bed (though technically, they were still in a couch). The head of Yukio’s penis peeked out of the waist band, the tiny underwear unable to contain it. Rin couldn’t remember ever feeling as hard as this.

“Mmore-” Yukio’s thighs tensed around his head. Not wanting to take the panties off yet, Rin groped the arse before him and slipped his fingers beneath the elastic as his tongue pushed against the tiny hole on the head of his bondmate’s dick. “Ngghh!” the moan almost distracted Rin from feeling the slickness.

Rin opened his eyes wide and looked up in surprise. “Yukio?”

Those turquoise eyes behind fogged up lenses slid to the side, before they returned to his face, and faced Rin head on.

“I’ve been topping for a while,” Yukio smiled furtively as he pulled Rin up while sliding down the older half-demon’s body. “For a change, why don’t I bottom today?” As he said this, one of his arms slid around his waist and stretched the panties till his anus, the rim glistening with lubricant, was exposed.

Rin’s dick twitched. “N-no need to feel obligated-“ he scooted back.

But Yukio stopped him with a hand curled around the most honest organ of Rin’s body. “I miss having this…” Yukio looked straight at his eyes when his smile widened, “inside my body, Anata. [1]”

_That's...the first time._

Rin’s heart jumped.

Then nobody, absolutely nobody, could stop him from ravishing what’s his.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. 'Anata' means 'dear' or 'darling', an endearment a wife calls her husband with.  
> Yukio is a little 'OOC' here. Well, he's trying to do things he's uncomfortable with to make Rin happy.  
> Btw, watch this 'Nii-san digest':  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCqqvcni1A  
> Fukuyama JunJun-sama said a total of 189 'Nii-san' as Okumura Yukio in 25 episodes and 1 movie. 189 times. That aside, this just shows that 'Nii-san' has been such an ingrained part of Yukio's mind when he sees Rin; I can't imagine the shift from brotherhood to lover being easy. A romantic relationship involves more than brotherhood + sex, right? But Yukio has been having trouble with that. So, yes, this is a huge step for him.
> 
> (Fangirling a little here...I love Fukuyama-sama so much! He was the first seiyuu I remember. I mean, I'm the kind who don't really notice Seiyuus, unless they have very distinct voices. Even now, I only remember three Seiyuus - Fukuyama Jun, Kamiya Hiroshi (his Natsume voice is so distinct) and Ishida Akira.)


	12. Chapter 12

28.

“Learn sharp-shooting from me?”

“Ah,” Ryuuji nodded and bowed, clapping his hands above his head. “I request of you, young teacher!”

Okumura-sensei chuckled. “Of course I’ll help you, Suguro-kun,” the kind half-demon said. “And I’m not your teacher anymore,” he reminded the newly graduated Meister.

“Thank you!” Ryuuji grinned at the other male. “You’re young, and a teacher. I’m not wrong,” he replied cheekily.

The bespectacled exorcist shook his head at him.

“So, shall we hit the practice grounds?” Ryuuji rose to his feet.

“Wait,” his sempai had stood up, too, but gestured at another direction. The direction of his apartment, Ryuuji realized. “Before one uses a weapon, the first thing we must do is…”

“To understand the weapon,” Ryuuji continued the sentence, suddenly embarrassed for his hastiness. Perhaps Rin’s influence on him was more far-reaching than Ryuuji’d thought.

Okumura-sensei nodded. “There’s more space at home,” he turned to the cramped desk he had in the staff room. “Let me pack quickly.”

Soon enough, with the help of Mephisto’s handy keys, they had reached the cozy humble abode the Principal had awarded the Okumura brothers (and couple) after Rin’s graduation. “The love birds need a love nest,” the quirky purple-haired demon prince had teased them as he presented them with the gift.

Ryuuji had visited the place several times. Okumura-sensei kept it neat and clean, but the smell of cooking that had seeped into the wood of the furniture of the kitchen, and tit bits Rin carelessly left around, along with the funny decorations Rin insisted on hanging on the walls, made the apartment look lived in. The monk’s son had always felt comfortable here.

“Make yourself at home,” the younger Okumura needlessly said, “I’ll bring one of my semi-automatic here.”

After Ryuuji was left alone in the living room, he plopped himself on the coach and picked up the book that was lying on the coffee table. Judging from the title (“101 New Anti-Demon Compounds Derived from Common Japanese Plants”), it was the young teacher’s. Though it wasn’t his interest, the athletic young man began to flip through the pages.

Shiemi would have wanted to borrow this, he thought absently.

“Sorry for the wait,” Okumura-sensei didn’t just return with his pistol; he also had a tray of teas on his hands. As he walked to the coffee table, though, he tripped.

“It’s dangerous!” Ryuuji quickly grabbed the tray and managed to save all the porcelain on it, though the liquid had spilled and dripped all over the edge. “Ouch!” he quickly deposited them on the couch.

“Here,” Okumura-sensei procured a handkerchief from his pocket and quickly wiped the hot water off. “Shall we go to the sink-” he wrapped his fingers around the other man’s wrist and pulled.

“Ah, no, I’m fine,” Ryuuji held his ground. “Young teacher, you’re normally not so clumsy. What happ-” he abruptly stopped as his eyes scanned the ground and he found an object jutting out from below the coach. He bent down to retrieve it, and his face immediately burned.

“Gyah!” He flung the pornographic DVD casing so high it nearly hit the ceiling.

It landed on the coach, too, and didn’t break, to Ryuuji’s disappointment.

Okumura-sensei blinked at it before his eyes lighted up in recognition. “Oh, that must be Nii-san’s.”

“WHAT?” Ryuuji looked aghast. “He’s- You’re-“ he kept on trying to begin a sentence to no avail.

The young teacher laughed at the man with piercings. Actually laughed in _amusement_.

Ryuuji bristled. “How can you be so calm? He’s watching this in secret!”

“No need to be so indignant, Suguro-kun,” Okumura-sensei was so amused he’d shed tears. “Nii-san’s originally straight, you know,” he shrugged.

Ryuuji couldn’t believe his ears. “He’s always got the hots for you!” He replied incredulously. The number of times he had to stumble across Rin sticking his tongue in the young teacher’s throat…just recalling it made the Kyoto-born want to bleach his brains.

“That’s because of the bond,” Okumura-sensei sounded way too nonchalant.

“Hah?” Either the young teacher was too smart or…

“You see, some bondmates are married to other people as well-” he tried to explain.

“That’s for platonic bonds,” Ryuuji rarely defied his teachers, but this time he couldn’t help it. “Your bond is romantic!”

“A bond will hone your instincts to be more sensitive to your partner's, but it doesn’t _define_ your whole relationship and the needs of your partner,” Okumura-sensei was getting more and more frustrated, Ryuuji could tell. “You think a bond will change the people involved, so they’ll be completely different after consummation? It doesn’t!”

But Ryuuji was stubborn too, and never backed down from an argument. “But the person at the other end of your string is supposed to be the most compatible-”

“Said who?” Okumura-sensei was _shouting_. Ryuuji was shocked. “What if you are in love with someone not your soulmate before suddenly finding ‘your one’? Could you forget the person in your mind, just like that-”

Having realized that he had lost his temper, the young teacher gasped. He cleared his throat and looked down. “I’m sorry.”

Ryuuji waited for the tension on Okumura-sensei’s shoulder to settle, a little, before asking quietly. “Did it…”

“…No,” the Upper Second class exorcist didn’t sound dishonest. “I had my hands full with ensuring that the Vatican wouldn’t execute Nii-san, at that time. Of course, there was my demonic powers awakening…”

 _Then…?_ Ryuuji’s thoughts whirled as Okumura-sensei moved the conversation to the mechanisms of a gun.

Suddenly, the Kyoto-born remembered a night in the woods, long, long ago.

_“Rin had changed lately, so I was a little worried,” Ryuuji heard Shiemi telling the young teacher. “But I’m relieved it looks like he’s enjoying himself today!” She had a gentle and joyous smile on her face._

_On the contrary, Okumura-sensei's expression was unreadable. “You’ve been observing Nii-san for a while, haven’t you?”_

It was years too late, but Ryuuji finally understood.

“…Suguro-kun?”

“Ah, sorry,” he returned his attention to the disassembled firearm. “The propeller goes…here?”

If what the young teacher thought was true…

_What a mess they were in._

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I'm not keeping you on tenterhooks on purpose. For one, I want the drabble above to let you know that the consummation will not be the 'happy ending'. That even after that, Yukio and Rin would still have issues (Yukio you idiot for overthinking things, and Rin you idiot for oversimplifying things). For two, well, promising to update everyday means...I kept putting off writing scenes that are hard to write :(
> 
> As such, I'm sorry but I don't think I will be able to update everyday from today onward. I promise to update at least once a week, tho. The most difficult hurdle is really the consummation scene. The drabbles afterwards will be slice-of-life bonded-partners' woes.


	13. Chapter 13

28.

Yukio might be so tired his eyelids were glued shut, but he could feel it.

His thread, the line that had kept him tethered to another person on earth, causing his eyes to stare in his direction no matter where the other was, attuned to his dangers and drew him like a moth to fire, stretching thin.

Soon, those instincts Yukio had given up questioning years ago would be parted from him.

_Good riddance…_

(…was what he’d like to say.)

“I won’t let it be,” someone shouted, before the door was blown inward.

Yukio pried his eyes open and blindly reached for his one-time hostage, his new friend, and succeeded in capturing his wrist in an iron grip.

“Not again!” One of the exorcists who’d broken through Yukio’s self-imposed prison with their spells exclaimed in alarm. “Miwa-kun!”

“I won’t let you!” a figure flew past the human barrier that was the Middle class exorcists lined shoulder to shoulder, blue flame rising from the slender frame. The Japanese katana he wielded was raised high above his head, before it was swung in a wide arch.

“Agh!” Yukio grunted when the slash hit his hand, causing him to let go of Konekomaru. The bald Aria-in-training, now safely tucked under Suguro-kun’s arm, was completely unhurt. Yukio had no fingers missing, either. His skin was just blue purple, like it was smacked by a wooden rod, not the Demon-Killing sword Kurikara.

So, this was the progress Nii-san had managed. He had this much control over his flame, over his strengths.

And his idiot brother was going to throw this progress down the drain.

“Stupid!” he yelled, letting out his frustration, and charged at his opponent with his deformed hands, his claws. Just a little more time. A little more-

“Yer the stupid one!” Nii-san struck him down with the hilt of his sword, aimed straight at his kidney. Yukio choked toward the dirty tiles on the floor as his knees gave way.

“Listen!” his collars were seized by Nii-san’s hand. “Shiemi, Shura and Suguro that damn guy-” [1] Yukio didn’t get why they were suddenly brought up as his brother growled against his face. “‘Decide what I think would make you happy,’ they said!” The older male prattled on while Yukio tried to gather his strength.

“LISTEN!” Rin’s eyes were staring right into his, his voice surrounding Yukio. Those dark blue gaze…Yukio couldn’t get away from the anger, from the intense emotions flitting through them. “How can I know what’s best for you when I don’t understand why you’re rejecting me! It hurts! But I don’t care!” He reeled the arm that was holding Kurikara, flinging the weapon to another end of the room. With his freed hand, he held Yukio’s face, curving around his cheek firmly.

“My soulmate is only you!” his declaration was final.

Yukio raised an arm, intending to struggle, his eyes wide as he saw his brother’s face descending on him on a slow motion, unable to tear away. Like watching a train wreck.

Then their lips touched.

(And Yukio lost control of himself.

He fell. Deeper. Into the unknown.)

* * *

 

29.

“Wait!” someone shouted from behind him, “the bonding spells aren’t set up yet!”

 _Like we have the time to wait!_ Rin snarled at them in his head, and decided to just go for it.

In the end, he thought of what he wanted, first and foremost.

The instance their lips met, well, Rin wasn’t exaggerating when he described it as ‘magical’.

The surge that resulted from the contact blew everyone backward with the strength of a typhoon, the spiky symbol that had been threatening to cut their connection shattering into pieces.

“Even without the spells?” someone gasped.

But Rin couldn’t hear it clearly. Like a tap slowly turning open, flashes of Yukio's thoughts, emotions and powers flowed into Rin. And along with that, fiery desires.

The hand cupped around Yukio’s face slid lower and lower, past his collarbone, to the skin over his quickly beating heart, the pebble of his perky nipple. His nails, which had sharpened to claws, tore through fabrics with abandon, the urge to have their naked skin pressed together overwhelming his senses. Nothing else mattered.

“Nii-san!” Yukio wasn’t fighting anymore. In fact, he’d moaned and pressed against Rin’s lips more insistently as the elder brother wrapped a hand around Yukio’s penis, rubbing the tip with the centre of his palm. “N-nii-san!” he repeated incoherently, biting and sucking Rin’s mouth, his eyes scrunched shut before he offered his white neck to Rin and wrapped his long, lean legs around the slenderer male.

Rin latched on the shadow of his brother’s Adam’s apple, sucking hard. As Yukio jerked and wounded his arms tightly around Rin’s shoulders, Rin’s mind was filled by just one word: _mine._

“Yes, yes,” Rin hissed in pleasure as he rocked his own impossibly hard dick against Yukio’s, the friction making his mind more and more muddled. His hands roamed Yukio’s back like they had a mind of their own, sliding through soft skin that gave way to a thicker, pelt-like structure.

“Nggghh!” Yukio thrashed his head when Rin curled his fingers around the base of the younger demon’s tail, his thumb rubbing circles on the underside. “Ah-” Yukio’s gasp was so high-pitched it disappeared before his breath ran out. The soft keen made Rin shudder. Somehow, he managed to retract his sharp nails and rubbed against the rim of Yukio’s hole with his other hand.

“M-mm-” the tip of Yukio’s tail wrapped around Rin’s arm, pulling him closer. “H-hurry,” he demanded, his skin pink all over.

It felt like all Rin’s blood had migrated to his groin. In a smooth move, he’d flipped his brother to his hands and knees and pressed his tongue into Yukio’s anus.

“Hhhh,” Yukio pushed and pushed into him more persistently. “I-I n-need, I-” his breaths were becoming shorter and shorter.

“I get it, I get it,” Rin shifted so he could shove three fingers into his partner’s mouth while still attempting to loosen his backside muscles with his tongue. “Suck.”

Yukio more like dribbled saliva all over him, but that was good enough.

“Yes,” despite the fact that Rin entered two fingers into his tight, tight hole straight away, Yukio didn’t flinch. If anything, the energy thrumming under his skin was spiraling upward, compelling them to move more quickly, more desperately. “There!” Yukio arched when Rin found a knob of gland within the taller male and pressed it. “More!!”

“Even now, you’re so bossy,” the comment fell unbidden from his lips. Only after the words were released to the air, Rin realized he was relieved. As surreal as this felt…something of Yukio stayed true to himself.

“Nii-san!” the younger boy turned over his shoulder and glared. He reached for his brother’s penis. “Don’t space ouu-”

The head of Rin’s dick breaching his anus silenced him.

“Haah!” the paler, taller boy heaved a harsh breath and shivered as Rin inched in, carefully, till he bottomed out. The older teen waited until the body under him didn’t feel as tense beneath his palms, before he rocked, slowly, changing his angles minutely, till…

“Yesss,” Yukio whimpered and threw his head back, turning his face blindly toward the warmth behind him. Rin leaned down to meet his lips.

 _There,_ he smirked to himself, and continued thrusting mercilessly against that spot.

Rin thanked the Gods he wasn’t a virgin. If that older woman hadn’t prepositioned him when he was still skipping school almost every day, Rin wouldn’t have known what to do to make his intended feel good.

“Nii-san,” the word was moaned against his mouth as hips grinded against his. Suddenly, the wet heat that was sucking him in tightened around him. Rin looked down, and saw that Yukio was jerking himself off as he met Rin’s thrusts, pre-cum messily dripping through his fingers.

Rin shook his head inwardly. “You greedy-” the hand not supporting his weight slipped over his partner’s hand and moved together.

As noisy as he was during sex, Yukio barely made any sound when he came, just a great rush of air from his lungs.

For a moment, Rin saw the red string tied around his little finger shining bright red, looped around him and Yukio and pulling them together as it shrink in length.

The tap that had allowed sensations and energy to flow between them was suddenly broken, like it was turned too hard. A surge of powers flooded Rin, fanning the blue flames till they rose higher and higher from his body, his ears, claws, horns and fangs growing with the sparks. It was so hot his skin felt like they would boil and blister.

He screamed in pain.

* * *

 

30\. [2]

“Takeshi!” Rin shouted at the boy climbing the tree higher and higher above him. “Be careful!”

“Tou-chaaan,” someone whined from below him. “Help!”

The exorcist grinned at the little girl curled around the bark like a monkey. She pouted at him in reply. “Here!” he offered her his hand and pulled her up easily.

Setsuko yelped as her centre of gravity shifted, but when she opened her blue eyes again, she gasped.

“So pretty!” she exclaimed at the view.

Rin’s grin widened. “Keep this a secret from Yukio, okay?”

The words he said had the opposite effect from what Rin had desired. Her head drooped as she brooded. “Will he be coming today?” her voice sounded sad.

Rin’s heart grew heavy. “Setsuko,” he whispered softly and patted her back soothingly as he settled securely on a branch. “Yukio’s in Shanghai to protect humans from evil demons. He’s a hero!”

“Why?” Takeshi cut in in an accusatory tone. When Rin looked up at his elder child, the boy was glaring at him, though his anger didn’t seem to be directed at Rin. “Tou-chan’s stronger! Why isn’t Tou-chan the Paladin?”

 _Because there is more to being Paladin than being strong_ , Rin wanted to tell him. “Because he’s smarter!” the knight said proudly. “Yukio makes a better leader!”

Takeshi just glared harder. “Tou-chan is kinder! More people admire Tou-chan! I know this!” He stomped at the branch he was standing on.

Rin frowned. “Takeshi-”

“I don’t want him to co-”

“Everyone!” They were interrupted by Shiemi’s cheerful voice at an opportune time. “It’s tea time! There are delicious matcha cakes from town!”

“Come on!” Rin hauled his son into his other arm and jumped off the tree, landing perfectly on his feet after a series of whirls.

“Wai!!” Setsuko clapped at his stunt, her eyes sparkling, before her nose followed the sweet scent of her favourite dessert. “Cake! Cake!”

Shiemi, who’d waited for them at the doorway to the backyard, only needed one glance at them to understand.

“Come, Takeshi-kun!” she grabbed the boy’s hand. Predictably, he listened to her.

Rin looked at the three people in front of him, and his heart swelled with love.

_Now, if only…_

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. As I advance in my Japanese, I admit that when I write fanfictions of Japanese fandom, I often thought of the dialogues in Japanese, then the descriptions in English. It's so bizarre. As a result, some dialogues here make better sense in Japanese. E.g. 'Suguro no yatsu', 'Ore no kokoro no hanbun wa omae shika inai!', 'Yukio ni naisyo ni suru yo!', 'Machi de katta oishii matcha cake ga arimasuyo!'.  
> 2\. This drabble is dedicated to blackchaosaria2501, who wants a kid-fic badly. Thank you for putting up with my mood swings. It's a personal trigger, since I'm not a child of a happy marriage, but I shouldn't have been so mercurial in my tone of replies. Gomen ne! Tanoshimi ni shite kudasai!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why does it seems like I'm back to updating every day? I can't stay away from you guys very long!

31.

Shiemi blinked at the red thread glimmering before them, amazed that she, an unrelated party, could see it even for just a while. As far as she knew, Strings of Fate are meant to be visible only to the people sharing them…and she’d never seen consummation take place to disprove that belief. In the first place, consummations were highly private affairs, not a scene to be viewed by the dozens of exorcists standing around the room and broadcasted to the people watching the surveillance camera feeds.

“It took,” she whispered in awe. “The bond is cemented!” She turned to her fellow exwires in joy.

“I have no doubt it would take,” Johann Faust V crossed his arms and shrugged. His eyes were gleaming in amusement. “The challenge comes after.”

Just after the tall demon said that, Rin’s bloodcurdling scream tore through the air.

Everyone watched in alarm as the bodies of Satan’s sons were engulfed in blue flames, their demonic features of pointy ears and long claws becoming more and more prominent. A wild look even entered the elder’s eyes.

“Everyone, in place!” Paladin Arthur commanded and charged in, leading his troops of top-notch dragoons and knights. “Fire!”

“Noo!” Shiemi yelled and tried to run forward, but was stopped by Suguro-kun’s steely hold on her arm.

None of the bullets reached the weaponless Rin, however. In a flash of light, leathery wings sprouted from Yuki-chan’s shoulder blades, tearing his skin and spraying blood as they spread out and shielded his brother.

“Oh!” the Principal’s expression was creepily ecstatic, “what an interesting development!”

“Yukio!” Rin shouted as the onslaught of bullets carved holes into the wings. He turned to their attackers and growled at them, sharp canines bared. “You bastards!  How dare you-” his flames flew at the exorcists in arrow-like shapes.

“Hey, ye stop now!” Kirigakure-sensei jumped into the fray and smacked Rin on the head with the hilt of her sword. His loss of concentration dispersed the blue flames. “Don’t fan the fire!”

“Shut up!” the teen only bristled at her, one palm still hovering above Yuki-chan’s wounds.

“Think of _Bibiri_ too, dumbass!” The well-endowed teacher firmly placed herself between the Paladin and the two cornered half-demons. “Don’t let his powers overwhelm you! Ye havta calm down for him!”

“Ye havta be his Kurikara!”

Kirigakure-sensei’s words seemed to get to Rin, because his distorted irises turned to those of human eyes again, filled with recognition and rational thoughts. The flames simmered down to ambers dancing on his naked skin. Occasionally, the flames wavered, threatening to rise again, but Rin took deep, calculated breaths to quell them.

“Yes, that’s it…” Kirigakure-sensei praised Rin, her voice unexpectedly gentle.

Yuki-chan was still bent over the floor, his back shaking. “Rrhh,” a throaty sound left him, his body still blazing with the blue flames.

“Yukio,” Rin carded his hand through the younger teen’s hair, past the horn-like fireballs on his temple. “Yukio, listen to me. Focus on my voice.”

“Rrhhnnnii-san…” Yuki-chan looked up at Rin, his right eye still darting erratically, while his left eye appeared more lucid.

“Push your energy to me…that’s it,” Rin spoke very, very soothingly. “I can take it. I can control it.”

“Nii-” Yuki-chan scrunched his eyes shut.

He was following Rin’s instruction, Shiemi could tell, as the strength of his blue flames shifted to Rin, who barely flinched. He took them like a sponge, and absorbed them into his body with each deep breath, the hand not touching Yuki-chan clenched till his knuckles were white.

“That’s it,” Rin’s voice didn’t waver as he pulled Yuki-chan closer to his lap.

Yuki-chan rested his face on Rin’s thigh, and didn’t budge when his wings folded close to his back. When the flames finally died on his pale skin, Shiemi suddenly realized Yuki-chan had dozed off.

“Haah!” Rin let himself fall to his back as he sighed, loud and long. “God, that felt like ages…” he sounded very relieved.

The Principal casually sauntered toward them. “A congratulation is in order, then,” the white-robed demon grinned at two of his students. “To the newly-bonded couple!” He dropped a pair of small rings to the Okumura brothers.

“May your relationship be strong forever!”

* * *

 

32.

“And because they kept fighting over it,” Setsu-chan continued speaking a mile a minute as Shiemi puttered around the kitchen, preparing salad for tonight’s dinner and healthy fruit juice for snacks. “Akemi’s parents let her name her baby sister!”

“That’s interesting!” Shiemi commented as she turned on the blender. Having finished her preparations, the blonde woman took a break and sat opposite to the cute little blue-eyed girl at the dining table. “Baby names, eh? I remember it was so chaotic when you were born, as well! Rin and Yuki-chan kept disagreeing!”

“Like always,” Takeshi-kun grumbled from next to his sister.

“How did they solve it?” as always, Setsu-chan looked at the bright side.

“Oh,” Shiemi smiled at her. Setsu-chan was so precious. “Yuki-chan and Rin agreed to each name one of you!”

Takeshi frowned. “ _He_ named me, then.” As if anyone but the guy who liked to push his wishes and expectations on other people could have named him the archaic word for ‘bravery’ [1]. “This complicated kanji…Tou-chan wouldn’t have-”

Shiemi had had it with Takeshi-kun’s resentment toward Yuki-chan. The child never tried to understand; it was frustrating. “Actually, it was Rin who named you, Takeshi-kun.”

The wild-haired boy’s jaw fell open. “Eh?”

“Then…” A bright grin appeared on Setsu-chan’s face.

“Yes,” Shiemi’s own smile widened. “Yuki-chan named you, Setsu-chan!”

Takeshi couldn’t believe it.

They didn’t have similar names, his sister and him. People might question if they were siblings in the first place, if not for how similar their facial features were.

And all his life, Takeshi had always been jealous of his sister, whose name was derived from ‘taisetsu’: important, valuable, worthy of care [2]. While his own name felt, at times, too heavy for him to carry.

“A name that carries such an expectation…” Takeshi-kun’s voice was full of disbelief. “Tou-chan couldn’t have!”

Shiemi sighed sadly. “Indeed, Yuki-chan often seems unforgiving and demands high discipline of you, and of himself,” her voice was soft toward the end. “But he loves you, Setsu-chan and Rin greatly.”

Takeshi-kun looked stunned.

The blender pinged before the moment stretched into silence.

“Ah, our snack is ready,” Shiemi’s mood lifted up again.

Setsuko pouted. “The green juice is yucky…”

“You can’t be picky!” Shiemi told the little girl off with a hand on her waist, but Setsuko looked unconvinced.

Takeshi stared at the clear blue sky over the windows, wondering when Tou-chan would come back from the city with more tools to build their treehouse. It was an ordinary summer day.

Yet Takeshi couldn’t help but think that something had changed.  

TBC

Review please! Like really! I'm feeling very lonely here since I received so few for the last couple of chapters. If there are anything you'd like to see in my story, or how I can improve, please let me know! I use a lot of subtleties in my writing. For example, the kids-scenes. I never mentioned anyone's relation to the kids except Rin, who is clearly Tou-chan. What is Shiemi doing there? As I write more I felt like the subtlety is too faint, so next chapters I will be more blunt! Haha Thanks to [blackchaosaria2501](http://archiveofourown.org/users/blackchaosaria2501/pseuds/blackchaosaria2501) and [MyPajamasAreCozy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MyPajamasAreCozy/pseuds/MyPajamasAreCozy) for letting me know you appreciate chapter 12 and 13 :)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Takeshi = 武子. One of the meanings of the character 武 is bravery  
> 2\. Taisetsu = 大切. Setsuko = 切子. Of course, 切 is a common kanji. 切る (kiru) has 18 meanings, mostly 'to cut' (e.g. sever a connection, hang up the phone) and 切 (setsu) by itself means 'earnest' and 'keen'. 子 means child, is read as 'ko' when attached to a girl's name and is read 'shi' when attached to a boy's name.  
> Why this importance to the kids' names? Well, some thought went into Rin's and Yukio's. Rin (燐) means phosphorous, and Yukio (雪男) means snowman. Rin is meant to be fiery and brighten the world, while Yukio is meant to be cold and quiet. Their names match their personalities so I want the kids' names to match theirs too.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Shiemi/Bon. It is partially for MyPajamasAreCozy, who requested Shiemi/Bon and angst (I have a feeling this story is becoming a kink-meme...haha...). I will be taking my time with the request :). This scene isn't even the beginning haha. It's me trying to question everyone what they understand as 'love'.

33.

Ryuuji-kun had been staring at her.

‘Do I have something on my hair?’ Shiemi felt so self-conscious. ‘Have I been putting on weight?’ If that was the case, she was going to blame Rin for bringing packed lunches to True Cross Hospital’s Anti-Demon Pharmacology Emergency Room for Yuki-chan and inevitably for her as well since, as Yuki-chan’s mentee, the Doctors worked similar shifts.

“…Moriyama-san,” the tall young man had always had an athletic body since they were freshmen. Now that he’d lost the blonde cockscomb, and his shoulders had grown broader and more muscular as he trained with his bazooka, Ryuuji-kun had become so handsome. [1]

“How many times must I say this,” Shiemi pouted and crossed her arms, “call me by my given name, Ryuuji-kun.”

Ryuuji-kun gave her a small smile. “Shiemi-san,” he yielded. Then he hesitated.

‘Eh, eh?’ Shiemi’s heat beat like it was going to jump out of her chest. Now that all of them had graduated from the cram school and high school, and they had met each other’s families, Shiemi kept thinking…

If Ryuuji-kun was going to pop the question.

Ryuuji-kun was always determined, the upside of his one-track mind. Before long, he managed to let the words out. “About…our bond.”

Shiemi’s face burned bright red. ‘Now? Eh? Am I ready?’ the urge to cover her cheeks with her hands was so great. In fact, she would have done so if she wasn’t elbow deep in rich soil.

The monk’s son continued, “I was thinking…” his eyes slid away. He couldn’t face her, too, but Shiemi watched him force himself to, his jaws tight. “Shiemi-san!”

“Shall we have a platonic bond?”

_Huh?_

_HUH?_

The end of the sentence wasn’t what she’d expected at all.

“Not all soulmates are better off in romantic bonds. Kamiki-san and Paku-san are in a platonic bond, and they’re happy,” Ryuuji-kun seemed to ramble, his words coming more and more quickly in her silence. [2]

For a moment, Shiemi was overcame with shock. 

“Ryuuji-kun, you have a girlfriend?”

The Kyoto-born’s eyes widened.

Shiemi gasped and slapped her hand over her mouth, the dirt be damned. Oh, she wanted to die. She wanted a hole to swallow her and hide her forever. How could she have said that? No matter how dazed she was, she shouldn’t have blurted the first thing that came to her mind! How could she have returned to the thirteen-year-old girl who gallingly called the genius Okumura Yukio ‘Yuki-chan’?

“No!” Ryuuji’s loud and firm answer stopped the never-ending stream of questions in her head. “That’s not why I suggested that!” He gripped her wrist and held it away from her face with one hand, the other reaching for the tissue box at the end of the table.

“…Then why?” Shiemi blinked. She was not the Yamato Nadeshiko [3] Shima said she was, long ago. She would never hide her opinions, and would charge headfirst into danger to protect the people she found dear.

This time Ryuuji-kun threw his gaze, and didn’t attempt to meet her eyes again. “Shiemi-san, _sa_ …” [4]. He released her. “Before we met…have you ever had a boyfriend?”

“Huh?” Shiemi’s cheeks flushed red again. “I-I never-” She waved her hands in embarrassment. _Why suddenly…_

“Me neither.” Thankfully, his remark saved her from further mortification.

Shiemi tilted her head and frowned. ‘Then what’s the big deal…?’

“Shiemi-san, please tell me.” This was the first time Shiemi saw this boy so unsure. “What do you feel about Okumura-kun?”

Shiemi gasped.

She felt hurt. She rose to her feet and shouted indignantly. “How can you suggest that-” she was so angry she couldn’t continue. Her voice was so high-pitched her throat hurt. She gulped, her eyes still glaring at Ryuuji-kun in disbelief.

Ryuuji-kun rose to his feet too, his tall frame towering over her petite one. “I’m not suggesting anything! I know you and Okumura-kun are just good friends!”

“Rin and Yuki-chan are together!” She wasn’t afraid of him. It never occurred to her to be.

(She trusted him, on an instinctual level.)

“I know!” Ryuuji-kun raised an arm in frustration, but he never laid a hand on her. His thick strong fingers were pulling his hair instead. “Forget that they are, for the moment! You have feelings for Okumura-kun, right?”

Shiemi couldn’t believe what her soulmate was accusing her. Her heart was aching so bad she wanted to cry. This must be the first time they fought. “I don’t! How could you-”

“You have always been watching him!” Ryuuji-kun cut in. “Now, and in the past! The young teacher agreed!”

Shiemi took a step back. “Yuki-chan…did?”

Ryuuji-kun sighed. “Yes,” the volume of his voice dropped a decibel. “What he said…made me think. What is love? Could one be in love with someone not his soulmate?”

“…Ryuuji-kun,” Shiemi didn’t know what else to say. She was distressed…but so was he.

“Shiemi-san, I stopped considering other people the moment I met you,” the Aria-Dragoon met her eyes again for the first time since he asked her about Rin. “And I’m sure you did, too.” His voice was kind.

Hope filled her chest. “Then…” she begun to smile at him.

His face looked so, so sad. “I wonder if disregarding our hearts is the right thing to do.”

“…Ryuuji-kun,” Shiemi’s sight blurred. “I…I only care deeply about Rin.”

“But thoughts of him fill your head, don’t they?” Ryuuji-kun didn’t sound angry at all. In fact, he sounded understanding. “Thoughts of the young teacher, too.”

Shiemi could not deny them.

“Shiemi-san…” Ryuuji-kun’s touch on her wet cheek both assured her and caused the tears to flow down faster. “I remember, when we were younger. Before we knew each other much. Before Okumura-kun and the young teacher were bonded. You always seemed flustered when you talked to the young teacher. And very, very happy when you were watching Okumura-kun.” His voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. “You still do.”

“Ryuuji-kun,” Shiemi found back her strength to move, and clutched at his hand with all her might. “I care about you, too. So, _so_ much,” she sobbed.

He enveloped her in his arms, and let her cry on his shoulder. “But do thoughts of me fill your waking hours? Does your heart beat quickly for me?” He pressed his hand against her left chest, as though confirming his theory.

Shiemi could not lie to him.

“…So that’s our answer,” [5] Ryuuji-kun sounded haggard. “I’m sorry I made you cry.” Ever the gentleman.

 _No_ , Shiemi’s fingers dug into his shirt. _I’m sorry for being lost._

TBC

Review please! It's only fair, since I churn out at least 500-1000 words a day for you, no ^_^?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. See this: http://mangafox.me/manga/ao_no_exorcist/v13/c058/10.html  
> Without the cockscomb, Ryuuji looks a bit like a tall version of Levi. Kyaa! Haha.  
> 2\. I didn’t dare mention Kamiki Izumo until the newly scanlated chapter 60 made some things clear.  
> 3\. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yamato_nadeshiko. It is "the personification of an idealized Japanese woman" or "the epitome of pure, feminine beauty", often used referring to a girl or shy young woman. After watching Kamiya Hiroshi and Fukuyama Jun mention their favourite Ao no Exorcist character is Shiemi, because she is pretty in kimono and cute, I realized that she could be considered as a Yamato Nadeshiko.  
> 4\. I cannot translate this ‘sa’. It’s a meaningless sound meant to indicate emphasis or ask for confirmation.  
> 5\. The original Japanese dialogue in my head was ‘Kotae ni naru ne.’ No pronoun needed at all. The ambiguity (is it ‘our answer’, ‘your answer’ or ‘the answer’?) is acceptable in Japanese, which is a context heavy language. But English doesn’t allow it! So annoying.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry, I just...find it amusing how fast you jump to conclusions…
> 
> Don't worry, I am not cruel :).

34.

Every morning, just after Rin woke up, he always checked the string around his little finger, and exhaled in relief that it was still red.

Today was no different.

“ _The number you have dialed is currently unavailable_ …”

Rin glared at his cell, fed up with hearing the recorded voice. He was _this_ close to flinging the device to the wall.

“Where are you, Yukio?” He tucked the phone into his bag before he could fall into the temptation. “I’ve told you long, long ago that today is Parents’ day at Takeshi’s and Setsuko’s school-” he screamed out his frustrations.

“I’m back!” Shiemi announced as she entered the door. “Rin, the supermarket was so packed it was unrecognizable! So unbelievable…” the blonde woman sighed as she hefted a recyclable bag of groceries to the kitchen. Suddenly, she looked really pleased with herself. “Ah, but I got the eggs you wan-”

“Shiemi!” Rin interrupted, and immediately grabbed her, causing her to drop the bag to the table. “Now is not the time for that!” as tomatoes rolled to the edge, the half-demon dragged her upstairs.

“What? Why?” Shiemi was confused.

“Change into something more formal!” Rin told her before kicking her into the closet. “Today’s Parents’ day!”

“H-heeeeh?” Shiemi panicked. “You’re bringing me to-” she scrabbled at the door.

“Hurry!” Rin just shouted from the other side.

‘Something formal, something formal…I’ve only got kimonos!’ Shiemi felt a little dizzy. “Why? You can go alone! Most kids won’t have both parents going, you know?”

“…D-datte!” [1] Rin’s voice sounded smaller. “The people going there are mostly women, right? It’s scary!”

Shiemi could imagine the blue-eyed male’s hands flailing now. She chuckled.

Rin obviously heard it. “If you have such free time, get naked now!”

Despite everything, they managed to reach the gates of Hideyoshi Elementary school ten minutes before afternoon classes were supposed to start.

“…Rin,” Shiemi peered at her companion as they walked through the hallways, catching their breath a little. “Once I go with you to school events…Yuki-chan can’t go, you know?”

Rin actually stopped dead for a couple of seconds, before he went on. “…It’s Yukio’s fault,” he grumbled quietly.

And they had arrived.

Since Rin seemed to be frozen in place, Shiemi placed her hand in the door handle and slid it open. “ _Ojyamashimasu_!” [2]

And over fifty pairs of eyes turned toward them.

“Ack!” Rin jumped out of his skin. “Uh, toilet!” he stepped back, and dashed away, leaving Shiemi stranded. Alone, with thirty interested housewives eying her.

_Wah, a cute kimono!_

_So elaborate!_

_Trying too hard?_

_What a show off._

With determination Shiemi never thought she could have, she closed the door behind her, her face red with awkwardness.

“Kaa-chan!” a loud voice suddenly greeted him. She looked up, and saw Takeshi-kun waving at her enthusiastically. Setsu-chan, too, had a bright smile on her face.

What life-savers, these precious children.

(Shiemi loved them so much.)

Even though she was inwardly uncomfortable with what they called her (she never did get used to it), Shiemi waved back at them.

“Oh, so you’re Okumura-san!” The bespectacled woman with shoulder-length hair standing in front of the classroom spoke welcomingly at her. “Good afternoon! I’m Saotome, this class’ homeroom teacher.”

There were much unfairness of the world Shiemi had all but accepted to live with, but she couldn’t tell one more lie. “Ah, no, actually my name is Suguro,” the blonde bowed at the other woman, “thank you for taking care of _uchi no ko._ ” [3]

As expected, more whispers broke amongst the adult women.

_They are unmarried?_

_Oh, but she is bonded!_

Shiemi covered her left pinky self-consciously, but decided to continue to stand tall.

Yuki-chan would have supported the children unwaveringly.

She watched raptly as Saotome-san explained some scientific concepts to her class. When she asked if anyone would volunteer to answer the questions she left on the board, most of the kids raised their hands enthusiastically, eager to make their parents proud.

The harder the questions got, the more the gusto actually disrupted the lesson.

Saotome-san appeared troubled. “Okumura-kun, Okumura-chan, please help?”

The two children glanced at each other before they stood.

“They are so smart!” The woman standing closest to her praised them for scribbling the right answers so quickly. “What vitamins do you feed them?” she suddenly asked the exorcist.

“E-eh?” Shiemi was unprepared. “U-um…nothing really…”

The people around them gasped.

“Ahem,” Saotome-sensei cleared her throat, cold eyes staring at them pointedly for the noise they were making. “The class-”

The bell rang.

“…is over.” The homeroom teacher deflated. “Everyone, tidy up the classroom while I briefly discuss PTA matters with your parents next door, all right?”

“ _Haaaii_!” she was replied dispiritedly. The children seemed like they were itching to talk to their parents immediately.

As the adults were moving next door, Rin slinked back to Shiemi’s side. “Yo.”

“Rin!” Shiemi pouted at him. “What’s the point of going to Parent’s day if you miss the action?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Rin had the audacity to grin sheepishly at her. “It’s just…that many people,” he scratched his chin.

“Suguro-san!” the woman who’d asked her about the vitamins approached her again with her gang of friends. “Geh!” Rin jolted, but before he could escape again, Shiemi pinched the back of his hand. It was fun, watching him try to keep a straight smile to the housewives as he twitched. “Hi, I’m Okumura. Okumura Rin.”

Some of the women blushed.

_What a handsome guy!_

_Oh, but look at his hand! Their rings are different!_

_They’re really bonded to other people, eh?_

Shiemi observed Rin carefully. He was slowly becoming bothered by the whispers, she could tell.

“Ne, who is their tuition teacher? Could you please share the information?” Before Rin’s face turned darker, one of them had asked.

“Hah? Tuition?” Rin stared at them incredulously. “They’re kids, you know!”

Shiemi smiled politely to cover up for his abruptness. “We don’t send them on tuition, Minami-san.”

“They are naturally brilliant,” Saotome-sensei chipped in as she joined them. Rin and the teacher reintroduced themselves to each other before the conversation continued. “They are really fast at learning new concepts. I can tell their analytical skills are good, because even in some Western-curriculum-based lessons where the students were told to debate on topics, Okumura-kun and Okumura-chan reacted very well!” There was just happiness in her voice, none of the competitiveness Rin could sense from the rest. He liked her.

“Thank you!” Rin grinned at her, his chest swelling with pride.

Shiemi chuckled. “They’re just like Yuki-chan.”

That raised some eyebrows.

_Yuki-chan?_

_Who’s…?_

Shiemi took a sharp breath. While she was panicking inwardly, Rin casually placed a hand on her shoulder. “Well, she’s a pharmacologist!”

“A working mom? So wonderful!” Saotome-sensei responded without a beat. “We should encourage girls to grow up to be strong women!”

Thanks to Rin, the doubtful gazes dissipated. Though some of them must be thinking of Shiemi weird, for referring to herself in a third person perspective.

Unbeknownst to them, the adults weren’t the only ones who had heard it.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. ‘Datte’ means ‘because’, but ‘datte’ is naturally spoken in a whinny tone, the kind one uses when making excuses.  
> 2\. Literally means ‘Sorry for disturbing’, but is a phrase one uses when entering someone’s home or interrupting.  
> 3\. Literally means ‘the children of our home’. Most people will understand it as ‘our children’, though. Half lies/clever use of language?


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um...I'm sorry for the late update. Been so...tired.  
> A short...'filler' - Yukio trying to come to terms to what he's become - as well as my headcanon for his conversion.  
> I swear, this timeline is so hard to write. The confrontation between Rin and Yukio is hard to write. The kids' timeline flows out of my fingers more easily.

35.

Yukio heard Nii-san being dragged away from his bedside for the first time in two days. _Finally_ , he sighed as he continued playacting to be unconscious.

He knew it was cowardly, but…

…he wanted to take it easy, for a while.

_Have his head blank out._

“It is unlike you to escape in response to crises, Okumura-sensei,” a familiar voice spoke to him. “Or…shall I call you Yukio-kun, now?”

The dragoon opened his eyes to see the tall figure of the Principal and the True Cross Order’s Japanese Branch Head looming over him.

“Good morning,” those narrow green eyes twinkled at him, full of mirth.

“…Sir Pheles,” Yukio merely replied politely, as always.

“Don’t be so formal, Yukio-kun!” the Principal plopped himself to a fancy chair he must have conjured some time ago. “If you wish,” he leaned forward, his grin distorted, “you can call me Aniue.”

Yukio twitched, and was assaulted by a stab of _pain_ when he tried to turn over to face the wall.

He returned to his side, and sensed something move behind him, tangling the blankets. He could feel the texture of the woolen fabric rubbing against the leathery extensions of his shoulder blades, and they _felt_ stifled. 

“Oh, be careful! You’ll squeeze them against the mattress,” Sir Pheles clucked his tongue patronizingly. “You still haven’t retracted your wings under your skin!”

Yukio took a sharp breath.

Calling them 'wings'...made his jumbled memories of heat and skin more real.

Also...

_That’s possible?_

“Of course it is!” the Head Branch remarked. Yukio must have looked alarmed, because the tall demon chuckled. “Your thoughts are clearly written on your face, Yukio-kun.”

Yukio blushed, and threw his gaze to the floor, avoiding Sir Pheles’ amused stare.

They fell into silence for a while, since the tall demon didn’t say anything anymore. Eventually, Yukio’s resolve broke.

“You’ve only just considered me your younger brother, haven’t you, Sir Pheles?”

“Hmm?” the tall demon, as usual, pretended to not understand.

Yukio didn’t have the patience to deal with this now. “Am I always meant to be…” He deflated quickly, not able to finish the question.

Sir Pheles sighed. “To say that you were born completely a human…would not be the truth,” he yielded, and Yukio thanked the Gods this infuriatingly vague demon had the mercy to answer him today.

Yukio raised his head to pay attention to the King of Time.

“Rin-kun’s biology and yours have always been the same,” Sir Pheles folded his legs and placed his chin on his hand. “Had you not been a weak foetus, both of you might have been born with Father’s powers. Or you could easily be Rin-kun, while his body rejected the powers. Both of you have the genetic potential.”

“Then…” _It was because my body had strengthened and was ready to accept the powers?_

“But in the first place, ‘becoming’ a demon isn’t unique to people who have the ‘genetic potential’ like you, Yukio-kun,” Sir Pheles shook his head. “Some humans are prone to ‘turning’ to demons. Lucifer has been ‘turning’ many of his human followers, right?”

“But that was only because of demonic possession,” Yukio argued, “after the demons leave, they will be human again.”

Sir Pheles laughed to himself. So hard he bent over his stomach.

Yukio lifted himself with his elbow, but crashed back down. He felt _so_ weak. “What is so funny?” He snarled.

( _Has his control over his temper diminished greatly?_ )

“You are so…simple, Yukio-kun,” the tall demon wiped his tears, “or…shall I say, pure?” [1] Before Yukio could yell at him again, Sir Pheles straightened himself. “Hmm…you are a man of science, aren’t you? Let’s think of demons as magnetism, and humans as magnetic materials. All humans are either paramagnetic or ferromagnetic. The most persistent demon can slip into the cracks of a man’s heart in his weakest moments. Humans with demonic heritage are iron and steel, so to speak, but there are other alloys that can turn to ‘permanent magnets’, right? Ah, but unlike magnets, we can’t lose our ‘magnetism’,” the tall demon pointed out, before funny ideas could form in Yukio’s head.

 _My youngest brothers are really predictable,_ Samael thought as he watched the pale-skinned teenager shook, empty blue eyes staring at nothing.

“What a pity,” the King of Time shook his head, “you could have avoided becoming a permanent magnet if you stay clear of magnetic fields.” He provoked.

Those dull eyes turned sharp instantly. “…Sir Pheles,” despite how much his body must be aching, how much agony Samael could only imagine the half-human was in, Yukio-kun dragged himself up until he was sitting upright, their eyes on the same level. “I heard from Tou-san that you were the one who sealed Nii-san’s powers in Kurikara.”

“Yes, I did,” Samael answered nonchalantly as he twirled his umbrella with a finger. He was inwardly disappointed. _Are you going to run again?_ “It’ll feel like losing a limb, though.”

Yukio-kun watched him. Like, really scrutinizing him. Samael was surprised. This was the first time the teenager openly did so. He had always been bowing respectfully, before.

“…In another world,” the dragoon began, his conviction stronger with each word, “in a world where our String of Fate snapped instead…I would have been more of use to you as your eyes amidst the Illuminati, Sir Pheles.”

 _Oops_.

Samael bared his teeth at his half-brother unapologetically. So what if one of his plans were found out. This had been happening regularly these days.

On the other hand, those _brains_.

“You’ll understand…I have to keep the _better_ hand,” ah, Samael really enjoyed taunting the tense teenager, who insisted on carrying the whole world on that thin back. “You are not as good a liar as you think, Yukio-kun.”

Frustration entered those teal eyes, a spark, before it was quickly quelled.

The boy remained the same, Samael noted, as a human and a demon.

Pure white. As snow.

TBC

Um...review please?

If Mephisto and Yukio's conversations near the end were too confusing, please let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. 単純 'tan jun': simple.  
> 純粋 'jun sui': genuine, pure, unmixed.  
> These two share the same kanji 'jun', which means innocent. Mephisto was implying that Yukio was naive.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can tell you readers don't like reviewing 'filler' chapters whose purpose are for world-building/explaining the setting. Well, hopefully this chapter is more exciting for you and get you to comment more.
> 
> I have a request: please lend me a couple of minutes after reading each update to reflect a little more on what you like about it, and let me know those reflections. It doesn't take an English Literature degree to write more than 'that was good, can't wait for more updates' and make this writer happier (and more productive).

_“I lie and get lied to,” you laugh_  
 _But you can’t do that to some people, and silly old me is one of them_  
 _If you can’t move forward and fall clumsily_  
 _You don’t have anything to help you back up, so you’ll die_  
 _Choking back the urge to kill you, I want to say this to you in your last moments:_  
 _“Don’t make a fool of me and treat me like a machine.”_

Keikoku, Shiina Ringo

* * *

 

35.1.

The real reason why Samael interfered was only one.

Now that he’d found out Lucifer’s plans, it would have been too risky to let him have Yukio.

Samael would eliminate anything that would threaten him off the playground he so loved.

Or so he believed.

( _Sentimentality has no place amongst demons._ )

* * *

 

36.

Yukio was avoiding him.

Rin knew the four-eyes was only pretending to sleep. There was a buzzing in his head that seemed to be absent when Yukio was truly under, like the taller teen's thoughts and emotions were only separated from Rin's mind by a thin membrane.

(Rin didn't press. If Yukio wanted some time, he would give it.)

Rin returned from his involuntary extended lunch trip to see Mephisto hand Yukio a short, sheathed knife. His wings and tail were out of sight.

Come to think of it, the energy that had been thrumming under his skin, causing him to be restless and want to jump and punch the air just to get rid of that excess, seemed to have dissipated.

 _He’s taken care of it!?_ Rin sighed at his unbelievable brother. Always trying to solve things himself.

“We’ll proceed with the medical examinations, next,” Rin caught the tail end of the Principal’s conversation. “They’re still deciding on who should be your handler.”

“Wait, what?” Rin interrupted. Loudly. “A handler? He doesn’t need one!”

“Of course, he does,” the clown really loved his dramatic gestures. “The Vatican wouldn’t leave Satan’s sons alone. You had Shura and Yukio-kun watch over you, and now that Yukio-kun has turned this way, Shura can’t possibly mind both of you herself.”

Rin gritted his teeth. “Yukio doesn’t need any minding!” he repeated. They were so blind. Yukio would never-

Mephisto laughed at him. Derisively. “You’re always such a good laugh,” he patted Rin on the head.

Rin snarled. He wasn’t a dog!

“Shall we?” the tall demon rose to his feet and asked Yukio, who slipped the knife into the belt tied around the yukata of his hospital gown, and followed the Principal.

“Ah, wait!” Rin ran after them. They hadn’t talked at all!

And after the handler joined them, they would have even less time to talk!

“Nii-san,” Yukio turned and faced him for the first time since...since Rin forced the consummation upon him. The younger teen grasped Rin’s extended hand. The cold of metal around his little finger jolted Rin. ‘ _He’s wearing the ring,’_ he thought in wonder, surprised by just how happy that made him feel.

And Yukio’s expression…was surprisingly free of any anger or resentment. He didn’t look closed off, either. “I’m fine,” his smile toward Rin was affectionate.

( _Like Rin hadn’t just raped him._ )

“Yukio-kun!” Mephisto hollered from the corridors.

“Coming!” Rin was left behind.

That was only one such instance. There were many more dismissals to come.

The medical examinations went on for ages, new tests popping up one after another.

There were also these…secret meetings held between Yukio and the Grigori.

( _Are they threatening him?_ )

Rin was fed up with waiting.

“I’m so sorry-” the exorcist guarding the meeting room tried to stop him.

“What happens to my bond partner concerns me!” Rin didn’t need to unsheathe Kurikara to be flaming.

They entered a minor scuffle, before he managed to kick the door open.

The three people inside turned to look at him. One was Yukio, of course. Another was a hooded member of the Grigori. The last was…

Something cold passed the back of Rin’s neck.

_A woman in Illuminati’s uniform!_

She glared at the guard. “Close the door!” she barked.

Rin shoved one foot in before the reinforced steel furniture could be slammed to his face. “I’m listening in!” he insisted.

The woman pursed her lips.

Before Rin knew it, an invisible force had pulled him in, causing him to fly on the air until he landed painfully on the floor by the table.

“Nii-san!” Yukio looked alarmed, like he didn’t want Rin to be here. _That’s nothing new._

“The problem isn’t that I’m unwilling to be your handler. In my opinion, the Captain won’t let you in his inner circle,” the woman must be picking up the thread from before Rin’s interruption, ignoring the exwire completely. “He would just keep you prisoner.”

It took Yukio a while before he could wrench his horrified expression off Rin to face the woman.

“I’m confident I can prove myself more useful to him than to be behind bars,” Yukio argued, “I’m sure my latest developments interest him.”

“Indeed,” the woman finally acknowledged Rin’s presence, her eyes sliding over him in disdain through the lenses of her spectacles. “What a very _public_ bonding,” she sneered. “Everyone knew right after it happened.”

Yukio’s face turned red instantaneously.

Rin stood up and immediately placed himself in front of his younger brother, as though shielding him. “So what?” he growled.

The woman shook her head. ‘Can’t believe you’re the most surveilled target of the Illuminati,’ she murmured under her breath. “Okumura-sensei,” she addressed Yukio, ignoring Rin again. “My opinion stands,” she crossed her arms on her chest. “The Captain trusts very little. And you only have one use to him.”

Yukio bent his head, his fists clenching on his lap.

(Rin felt a spike of hot, negative emotion that wasn't his own surging in his mind.)

“And my stand has been clear, since the beginning,” the Grigori concluded, “the discussion is over.”

As soon as the sentence left the Vatican’s highest commander’s mouth, Yukio quickly left like he had zombies at his heels.

“Ah, Yukio, wait!” Rin ran after him. “Stop! I said stop!”

Having had freakish strength and speed his whole life, Rin managed to catch up with his bondmate. “What was that!?” he exploded. In the middle of the hallway.

Everyone stopped dead to watch them.

Yukio frowned, and in a flash, Rin found himself thrown against a wall of a room Yukio had pushed both of them into.

“I’m terribly sorry,” the four-eyes said to the three exorcists occupying the room, who had gaped at the intrusion. “Could we please have this room for a while?”

‘Satan’s sons,’ Rin’s acute senses heard one of them telling the other two, before they scrammed out as requested.

‘Sons,’ they said.

( _It used to be just him._ )

But now wasn’t the time to be depressed. “What were you going to do?” Rin let his wrath consume him. They hadn’t even talked about why Yukio had been hiding the fact that they were each other’s soulmate from him. “Without telling me again!?”

Yukio threw his eyes to the floor, avoiding Rin’s gaze resolutely.

Rin narrowed his eyes. “I’m not that stupid!” he couldn’t help the flames that lit him up. “You intended to be a spy at the Illuminati, didn’t you?”

Yukio’s body was overcame by the blue flames, too. The sound of fabric tearing filled the air, before large wings emerged from the taller teen’s back, pushing the heavy black overcoat down his elbows as buttons flew. “N-nii-san!” he fell to his knees, his voice pleading. “Please control your flames!”

Rin’s first instinct was to apologize…but that would change the mood, and he really couldn’t afford to have this talk postponed again.

Besides, he was disappointed at himself that his control was slipping again.

( _Why is it harder to keep the flames under wraps now?_ )

“I apologize.” But it was Yukio who said sorry. Rin was surprised. His prideful brother would rarely, rarely… “The bond means you have to control some of my powers as well.”

Of all things…this is the one Rin didn’t want Yukio to say sorry for. “’ _Na wake nee darou_!” [1] He picked his brother up from the floor by clutching on his collar. “So, is it true!? Tell me!” He kept pressing.

Yukio sighed, and hid his eyes through the glare of his glasses by pushing it up the bridge of his nose. “…yes.”

“Shit!” Rin cursed and punched the wall next to his thick, infuriating brother. The boy who was connected to him. “You-”

“It doesn’t matter anymore because it’s not going to happen!” Yukio interrupted, his blue eyes finally meeting Rin’s head on. “You heard what they decided!”

Rin couldn’t follow his brother’s logic. “But why did _you_ even decide-”

Yukio looked at him like he was in idiot. “We never know enough about what Lucifer is planning! And judging from the fact that they placed me under their custody without harming me last time, they _want_ me! This is a good chance!”

Rin’s wrath bled out of him like his fire had been doused in water. His brother, always, always so _self-sacrificial-_

“You’ve known that we’re soulmates for a long time, right?” Rin switched the topic before he ran out of steam. “Why were you hiding it?”

Yukio stewed in silence, but before Rin had to prompt him again, he answered. “Someone placed the blind on you so that you won’t see…for a reason. I never confirmed why or who placed it on you…most probably they just didn’t want you spawning an army of part-demons in Assiah.”

“Hah?” Rin raised an eyebrow, “you and I are boys! That may be _their_ reason, but not yours!”

Again with fixing that glasses. “To be honest…I just never understand the hype about soulmates, Nii-san. We’re already brothers.”

 _Liar_ , Rin’s mind told him. But he was too scared to dig deeper for the truth.

_Was it because you didn't want my demonic powers to contaminate you?_

( _Or w_ _as it because you never wanted me?_ )

“And…” Rin’s own eyes strayed to the ground. _Here comes the hardest part._

Fingers touched his face gently. Rin looked back up, and found that fond expression on the doctor’s face again, directed at him.

“There is nothing to forgive, Nii-san,” Yukio’s voice was soothing and kind, “I know you only meant to help me control the flames.”

Guilt pierced Rin’s chest.

 _That’s only part of it_.

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“Actually, now that it’s happened, and I’m like this,” Yukio sounded like his spirits had lifted up. “I need your help to figure out my new limits, Nii-san!” He grinned and straightened up.

“A-ah,” Rin obliged reluctantly, always glad to be useful to his brother.

So the talk ended, just like that.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. ‘(そう) な 訳 ねえ だろう’ literally means ‘that shouldn’t be why (you apologize)’. But the English sentence is too long and doesn’t convey anger as well as the Japanese. ‘Nee’ is the pronunciation of ‘nai’ when spoken in anger. If you know better how to translate, please suggest.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a question I want to ask. It's unrelated to the story...but...  
> Is Yukio a demon or not in Ao no Exorcist movie?

37.

Toudou was right.

What Yukio feared the most wasn’t to transform to a demon.

It was to lose his purpose to protect Nii-san. Either through Nii-san’s death, or…

When Rin no longer needs Yukio.

This is inevitable. As inevitable as Yukio taking up his biological heritage. Nii-san gets stronger and better at controlling his powers each day.

So before that happens…before that happens…

( _Yukio will rather lose his life ensuring Nii-san’s safety.)_

* * *

 

38.

Mephisto looked pained. Like he had a stomach ulcer.

Rin cocked his head. “…someone stole your cake?”

Yukio sighed. “Nii-san, Sir Pheles is still the Principal of our school. You should address him with more respect.”

“Ye haven’t called me with ‘-san’, either!” Shura shot at Rin as she reclined on her chair and opened a can of beer she retrieved from the seal on her belly. “By the way, why am I here, Mephisto!?”

“Ah, I have something to announce to you,” the Japanese Branch Head addressed the three of them, still with his brows heavily creased. “It’s with regards to Yukio-kun’s handler.”

Rin narrowed his eyes. “You’re still at it,” he complained.

Yukio merely pushed his glasses up his nose. “So he’s been decided?”

“She…” Mephisto corrected, then exhaled heavily. Rin had really never seen the mischievous clown this depressed. “She-” he tried again.

“YUKIO-CHAAAAN!!” A loud scream interrupted them. The door to Mephisto’s office opened with a bang.

Standing on the doorway as a petite girl – probably shorter than Izumo – with long, wavy black hair, dressed in a white laboratory coat and an unbelievably short Shanghai dress. She had a white bandana tied around her head, and her bangs were so long they nearly covered her eyes…

Which zeroed in on Yukio and lighted up.

“I MISS YOU!” She literally launched herself at the no-nonsense bespectacled guy, knocking his breath away with the force of her glomp.

His brother’s face was so red it could rival a tomato. “T-takani-san!” he stuttered.

(Yet, Rin could sense that Yukio was filled by a light, airy feeling. Something akin to... _happiness?_ ) 

The girl – woman, Rin couldn’t tell how old she was – pouted. “ _Mou_ , Yukio-chan! Call me by my given name!”

Yukio blushed impossibly redder. “…Yuuko-san…”

Takani Yuuko [1] smiled brightly. “I’m so happy!” her arms tightened around Yukio.

Rin’s vein pulsed on his temple. He was somehow irritated. “Hey, you-” he began.

But the hyperactive girl had shifted her attention to Shura. “Kyaa, Shura-chan! Long time no see!”

Shura jumped out of her skin.

Rin blinked. It was rare to see the vermilion-haired knight this edgy.

“Shuuuraa-chaaan!” In the blink of an eye, the knight found herself subjected to the same enthusiastic treatment Yukio had received. Even worse, the petite girl had buried her face in the taller woman’s chest, her tiny palms squeezing Shura’s boobs. “Ooh, have these become bigger since I last met you? I’m so jealous!”

Rin’s eyes nearly popped out of his socket.

“W-wh-whaat!?” The teen jerked out of his seat, his nose bleeding. The girl on girl action was too much for his libido!

“Let go!” Shura shook the smaller woman off. “Don’t touch me, perve!”

“Eeh,” Takani Yuuko whined, “why? We were so close when we were Reverend Fujimoto’s disciples! By the way,” She must be lightning fast, because the petite girl managed to curl her arm around Shura before the knight could dodge it. “Do you know any nice places to drink? I just arrived from Beijing, I don’t know the neighbourhood!”

The light in Shura’s eyes changed. “Ya should have said this earlier!” The knight’s attitude took a 180.

It was so bizzare.

“Ahem!” Mephisto cleared his throat. “The Japanese Branch is happy to have you back, Takani-san!” It was very clear he was lying through his teeth; even Rin could tell. “By the way, there is still someone here who don’t know you, so if you can introduce yourself…”

“Oh!” Yuuko’s slit-like foxy eyes widened as she peered up at Rin, scanning him from head to toe. “So you’re Yukio-chan’s older brother!” Her face was so close Rin could see the weird red markings at the ends of her eyes and…was there a red tattoo of an eye behind her bangs!?

“Nice to meet you!” She shoved her hand under Rin’s chin. “I’m Takani Yuuko, Upper First class doctor and dragoon. Your foster father was my disciple, and I was also his disciple…it’s a little complicated,” she grinned and scratched her head with her other hand. “Ah, I taught Yukio-chan some things when Reverend Fujimoto was away on missions, too.”

“Which was often,” Shura shook her head. “The she-devil was understating it. She was practically _Bibiri_ ’s first teacher. Shirou was more of a mentor.”

“Shura-chan, calling me she-devil…that’s mean!”

'First teacher,' the words swirled in Rin’s head as the two Upper First class bickered. _An admirable figure from Yukio’s past. A lovely, highly competent person._

Something…itched under his ribcages.

“Okumura…Rin-kun, right?” Yuuko’s voice brought Rin back to the present. She looked at him a little strangely.

Must be because Rin was stoning. “Ah, right!” he quickly grabbed her proffered hand. “Nice to meet you too!”

“That’s wonderful!” the clown clapped dramatically. “You handlers, please get along with each other and your charges! Now that my role here is over-”

“Wait, Sir Pheles,” Yuuko was entirely polite, but the Principal was visibly ticked off. “I’d like to catch up with you.” She smiled at him.

“Ah…sure,” his reply was reluctant.

After the doors shut behind them, Rin watched Yukio as he turned his head back minutely, his mind undoubtedly on her.

“Ah, isn’t that nice,” Shura’s voice had taken on a teasing tone, “to meet yer first crush again.” Her lips curved to a Cheshire grin.

Pink patches spread on Yukio’s cheeks. “What on earth are you talking about, Shura-san!?” he was totally flustered.

Rin pressed a hand on his chest.

(That itch again.)

* * *

 

38.1.

“Hey, have you heard?”

Samael tried his best to ignore the beast lounging on his sofa. “What?”

The woman chuckled. “That Yukio-chan…he went around you and told the Grigori his intentions. The option you sabotaged away from him.”

Samael…had an inkling. The confirmation didn’t brighten his day. He sighed at one of the mixed-blood descendants of the all-knowing mythical beast. “And then?”

“Well, the idea may not be the most brilliant and he chose the wrong people to negotiate with,” she leaned forward, covering half his desk with her torso so suddenly his chair skidded as he jerked back. “But he’s not going to be an easy pawn to control.”

Samael narrowed his eyes. “How kind of you to tell me,” he said sarcastically.

She chuckled at him. “By the way, Samael,” Takani Yuuko’s eyes gleamed golden, her pupils straight vertical lines instead of rounded _humane_ ones, “am I right in assuming you won’t do anything about the thread between you and Shura-chan?”

Samael’s blood ran cold. “You’re here because you need our protection from the Illuminati, you scion of  _Bai Ze_ ,” [1] he reminded her.

Her smirk only widened.

“I’m not very patient, Samael,” she sang-song as she sashayed out of his office.

Samael waited till she was completely gone before he slumped in his seat.

“…What troublesome brothers I have.”

TBC

Review please!

I write because I want to share a story, of course, but I enjoy interacting with readers most. I enjoy having detailed discussions about the plot, the characters, the writing style. I sense that the pace is too slow for you and some may be dropping the story / not check up as often. If that's the case I can try quickening the pace and update according to when you can check the story (I understand we're all busy. The downside of my updating everyday is I grew to expect comments everyday. So if you can't check everyday, updating less often is good for my expectations as well.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I normally don’t like OCs…but Katou Kazue-sensei didn’t introduce many First Upper class exorcists I can borrow to be Yukio’s handler. (Well, I like that she keeps the cast lean. With Shingeki no Kyoujin, there are so many characters I can’t keep track and care about every single one of them). Anyways, it’s great if she could be a plot device as well!
> 
> FYI:  
> \- Takani 高荷 from Megumi Takani of Rurouni Kenshin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takani_Megumi). It was mentioned that the Takani family had consisted of renowned doctors since 1640s.  
> \- Yuuko 尤子means ‘outstanding child’  
> \- Her character design is genderbent Hakutaku from Hoozuki no Reitetsu (http://hoozuki-no-reitetsu.wikia.com/wiki/Hakutaku), who in turn is based off the mythical creature Bai Ze (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bai_Ze). Hakutaku is voiced by Shima's seiyuu btw (Kouji Yusa)!  
> \- She looks like the girl on the left: http://i1.pixiv.net/img27/img/ihirotan/42541339_p2.jpg


	20. Chapter 20

_Still I miss days with you_  
 _I can't look into your face_  
 _Oh, feeling blue and looking back again_  
 _Please come back to me_

Release My Soul, Aimee Blackschleger (Composer: Sawano Hiroyuki)

* * *

 

39.

Rin couldn’t believe his eyes.

“How do you do?” the perverted petite woman in her super short Shanghai dress was standing in front of a class that Yukio was supposed to be teaching, waving at the students with a silly grin on her foxy face.

 _What on earth?_ He seethed.

Luckily, Rin wasn’t the only one who felt strange.

“Where is Yuki-chan?” Shiemi rose to her feet and exclaimed.

Yuuko [1] tilted her head at the blonde. “You are…”

The green-eyed girl belatedly realized that she had just talked back to a teacher. “M-moriyama Shiemi. Ah, I-I’m so sorry,” she replied, flustered.

Yuuko laughed. “Don’t mind it,” she looked up and addressed the whole class as well. “Anyways, Okumura-sensei is unwell, so I will be covering for him for a while. My name is Takani Yuuko. My age…” a shadow fell over her face before it was taken over by a large, fake, _bone-freezing_ smile, her stare murderous, “is a secret! Hohoho!”

A chill passed through Rin. ‘What a terrifying woman…’

“Anyways, _yoroshiku onegai shimasu!_ ” [2] The vixen continued.

“Takani!?” Shiemi raised her voice again, her eyes were sparkling. “Rin! That’s a famous clan of doctors from Aizu!”

“Oooh,” their energetic teacher appeared at Shiemi’s side in a flash. “36-26-30…” Rin heard her murmur as those slit-like eyes assessed the blonde girl ( _Is she seriously assessing Shiemi’s three measurements?_ ), before Yuuko smiled at the Tamer exwire. “You’ve learned Rangaku?” [3]

Shiemi shook her head. “Ah…my house is a pharmacy, so…”

 _So she is that famous,_ Rin thought absently as he watched them.

As the two females chatted, Suguro slid closer to Rin. “Psst, Okumura-kun,” he whispered, “what happened to the young teacher?”

Rin felt heartened by Suguro’s concern. “Yukio isn’t sick,” he smiled at his friend. “They’re just forcing him to undergo medical examinations,” his expression darkened.

“Okumura-kun!” suddenly, the vixen called him. “You were learning about mandrakes in your last lesson, right?” She already had the textbook opened before her.

Rin straightened up. “Yes!”

The teacher nodded. “Could you tell me what are the most dangerous properties of mandrakes?”

Rin flipped through his textbook in a panic. “Uh…”

Suguro sighed, and pointed out the relevant page to Rin.

‘Thanks!’ he shot the boy with the blonde cockscomb, and read the paragraph.

“Hmm, hmm,” Yuuko nodded along, and just as Rin was about to release a breath in relief, she asked, “What other plants have hallucinogenic and anticholinergic properties?”  

“Hah?” Rin was stunned. “Anticho…what?”

“Effects such as choking and loss of breath,” Shiemi told him softly.

“Errr,” Rin was still at a loss.

“Suguro-kun?” she passed the question to him.

“Yes,” he stood up as Rin plopped to his bottom and sighed. “Angel’s trumpets and moonflowers, also known as brugmansia and datura.”

“Good, good.” The satisfaction in Yuuko’s tone made Rin feel unpleasant. He’d never felt bothered about not being smart before, but- “Why?”

“Eh?” Suguro was thrown off.

Yuuko raised an eyebrow. “Why do all three types of plants causes hallucinations and asphyxiation?”

“That’s…” Suguro, _the_ Suguro who scored 98% in Yukio’s test once, floundered.

Yuuko blinked. “So you were…memorizing blindly?”

Rin felt annoyed. It was like she was insulting Yukio’s teaching abilities. _He’s only fifteen, okay? He’s doing great already!_

But before Rin could rant, the teacher launched into a long explanation of what major chemicals were in the plants, and which part of the human body they interacted with to result in loss of breath. Her diagrams were straight forward and her analogies simple but interesting. It was like listening to a story.

For once…Rin could understand.

“Imagine they’re people with difficult names,” she referred to the chemicals. “Each have their own personalities.”

After she said that, the bell rang.

“Homework!” The word made Rin groan. “Write an essay about a favourite herb! Remember to follow the approach I told you today: the chemicals, their separate properties, how they interact with the body of the target!”

That…was unconventional.

Someone chuckled from the doorway.

“Yuki-chan!” Shiemi sounded very relieved. “So you’re okay!”

“Not completely,” Yukio smiled at the blonde girl as he strolled in, keeping to the front the Order had set up.

Yuuko pouted. “Here to ensure that I didn’t feed your students with garbage?” she placed her arms on her waist.

“No,” Yukio laughed softly and turned to the diagrams on the board. His gaze was nostalgic as he skimmed through them. “I know they’re in safe hands.”

The four-eye’s voice was so…warm and trusting.

(Rin never heard Yukio use that tone to describe _him_.)

Yuuko smiled, an expression they were sharing. “Ne, Yukio-chan,” she called him. The rest of the students were too distracted with packing their bags to notice the intimate honorific. “I want to see how much you’ve improved.”

Yukio’s expression turned serious and determined. One hand unconsciously reached for the gun behind his back. “All right.”

Rin didn’t want to be left out. “Let me join you!” he jumped into the conversation before the two were gone.

“Nii-san!” As expected, Yukio protested. “Don’t you have extra lessons with Shura-san?”

“Shura isn’t here!” Rin made a show out of looking for her in the corridors. “Yukio, take me with you!” he demanded.

Yuuko chuckled. “I don’t mind.”

So Rin said goodbye to Shiemi and Suguro and followed the duo as they walked in the opposite direction as the rest of the student. Yuuko was praising Yukio about how he well he’d planned the lessons based on the knowledge exhibited by the students, and while Rin would rather hear _this_ than Yuuko’s criticisms…

(It’s better if they just ignored each other like strangers.)

Yukio unlocked a door using one of Mephisto’s keys, and instead of the batting centre Rin had gotten used to, they entered a ridiculously spacious room, its wall painted green.

“The simulation centre,” Yukio mentioned in response to the bafflement on Rin’s face.

The beeping of a button being pressed filled the room, and the landscape changed to that of a rocky desert, holograms of all sorts of demons filling the air.

“Further advanced level selected,” the system’s technical voice announced.

“Nii-san, stand aside,” Yukio reminded Rin as he took out his pistols and replaced the magazines. Then, to Yuuko, “Are we using the speed of clearing the level as a benchmark?”

“Let’s make it more interesting,” Yuuko swished her laboratory coat, and a couple of firearms dropped to the ground. [4] “I’ll hunt the demons as well. And after there are no more demons, we’ll target each other.”

“Second player set,” the system declared.

Yukio was taken aback. “Eh?”

“In 5,” the vixen warned as she picked up her weapons – a handgun and a bigger rifle – and leapt to the ceiling, reaching the other end of the room in four jumps. “4, 3, 2-”

The moment the countdown was over, laser bullets flew all over the place, hitting the projections more quickly than an eye could blink.

Yukio was a good sharpshooter, quick and accurate, but Yuuko…Rin could barely see her. She was so petite one would think her small arms didn’t have the strength to keep shooting, but her size made her agile. She had no problem slipping through the demons, spinning through the air like a gymnast, covering more grounds than Yukio, who kept himself shielded behind the rocks. The system’s monitor embedded to the wall displayed the scores of player 1 and player 2, and the latter was so far ahead.

And soon enough, there were no more demons left.

“It’s just the two of us now!” Yuuko declared. And charged.

Yukio left his shelter and rolled on the ground to another rock, keeping his back covered. His eyes were darting all over the place, his breath short and fast. Rin could feel his fight and flight response coursing through their bond.

Yuuko didn’t even bother to conceal herself. She was on the offense since the get go. Rin didn’t know how any human could achieve that speed and balance-

“So here ye are!” Shura’s voice made Rin jump out of his skin. “I was looking for ya-” the vermilion-haired knight glared at her pupil until she noticed who else were in the simulation centre.

“Ho,” her lips curved to a wide grin as she watched the ‘exercise’ between Yuuko and Yukio. “Go easy on _Bibiri,_ perve!” Shura hollered.

“Shut up!” It was Yukio who yelled back. His energy had been rising higher and higher, making the bond pulse as he was increasingly cornered.

“By the way,” Rin complained to the woman who was supposed to be his teacher, “Why aren’t my trainings more like this? I passed your stupid candle test right?”

“Hah?” Shura messed up his hair. “Ye wanted to be beaten up?”

“OI!” Rin was about to bat the knight’s hand off his head when his body suddenly burst in fire. The blue flame.

Rin’s eyes sought his brother anxiously. “Yukio!”

The bespectacled teen wasn’t found anywhere on the ground. He was on the air, wings spread wide on his sides, flying straight toward Yuuko. Both of them had their guns aimed at each other, within perfect firing range.

The long-haired woman appeared stunned for a moment, but just as Rin thought Yukio was going to win, she smirked.

A swift kick to Yukio’s sternum made him choke and miss. As he dropped a few feet to the ground, Yuuko shot, hitting him on his shoulder.

Yukio grunted as he landed on his knees, clutching said shoulder like it was physically wounded. A sharp, negative emotion permeated the bond as the blue flames simmered to ambers, sensations of disgust and agony directed to Yukio’s self.

Rin recognized it as shame.

“Yukio!” he started toward his brother, filled with the urge to soothe him. He didn’t know how. He just needed to-

Yuuko stood in front of the bowed figure, and offered him her hand.

“You almost got me,” her voice was firm and full of pride. “You even had him excited.”

The strange sentence got Rin looking at her more closely, and he found that horns had sprouted from her head. Her eyes were gold with straight vertical slits.

Yukio noticed them, too. “Yuuko-san…” his voice sounded like it could break any time.

“The forte of winged demons is their speed,” she placed a hand on his shoulder blades. Where the wings were. “Don’t fear what you have.”

Yukio’s eyes widened.

“Yukio!” as soon as she stepped aside, Rin swooped his brother into a hug. “It’ll all right, Yukio! You did great!”

Yukio didn’t respond. Rin sensed that something had changed within his soulmate, but he didn’t know what or why.

‘ _It’s unfair,’_ Rin screamed in his mind as he spied Yuuko over Yukio’s head, the petite woman sexually harassing Shura again. ‘ _How am I supposed to compete with that?’_

The weight of the ring felt empty around his finger.

* * *

 

40.

Takeshi had been upset since they returned home from school on Parent’s day.

Rin exchanged a helpless gaze with Shiemi. “What’s wrong?” he tried again.

“Nothing!” the boy insisted stubbornly.

Rin turned to his sister instead. “Setsuko, any clue…?”

The teal-eyed girl pressed her lips together and peered at her sibling, who glared at her as though saying, ‘Don’t you dare!’ with his dark blue eyes.

“Takeshi-kun,” Shiemi sidled next to the young boy and patted his hair. Normally, he would turn to putty under her gentle hands. “Won’t you tell us?”

Takeshi’s pout wavered, his eyes turning glossy with unshed tears (which stabbed Rin right in the heart), but he didn’t give in.

The living room was enveloped in silence for a long while, before Setsuko sighed heavily.

“Tou-chan,” she hesitated as she slipped a small hand into Rin’s calloused palm. A tiny, soft, precious hand.

“DON’T!” Takeshi looked at her as though she’d betrayed him.

Setsuko resolutely looked away from her brother. “Tou-chan…are we…are we both Papa’s children?”

“Huh?” Rin was puzzled.

“I HATE YOU!” the boy yelled, “SETSUKO, YOU TRAIT-”

“SHUT UP!” That moment, Rin saw Yukio in her, the furious scowl he always shot Rin whenever the older male had joked too much when they were still students.

It was as effective on Takeshi as it had been on Rin back then.

(Thinking of that made Rin miss Yukio with a sharp pang.)

“We…overheard Kaa-chan tell Saotome-sensei that we take after Papa,” Rin was brought back to reality when his daughter continued. “…ne, Tou-chan,” she huddled close to him, her arms curled around his thighs. Instinctually, Rin picked her up and cradled her in his arms. “You told us once, right? That you and Papa had Kaa-chan help you brought us into the world. That she was our surrogate mother.”

For a moment, Rin wanted to praise his child for having perfectly pronounced and understood the term. But he understood that it wasn't appropriate.

“Y-yes,” Rin was never good at lying.

“If a baby is made by one mom and one dad,” [5] Setsuko pressed her forehead against Rin’s chest. “And we take after Papa…D-doesn’t it mean that Papa is our dad..and you're...”

“ENOUGH!” Takeshi bolted out of Shiemi’s embrace, his arms swinging and causing the mug of hot chocolate Rin had made for him to fall over the edge of the table. "TOU-CHAN IS MY DAD!"

“Takeshi!” Rin quickly put Setsuko down on the sofa and caught his son before he could hole himself in his room upstairs. As he tried to contain the struggling boy, who was kicking Rin’s shins and aiming a punch on the man’s chin with all his might, Rin shot a panicked look at Shiemi. ‘What should I do? What should I do!?’ he asked her silently in desperation.

Shiemi closed her eyes, her face lined and wearied with pain. Rin’s heart broke for her.

“Ah, Takeshi,” Rin braced himself for another lie, stringing words together in his head. His children were smart; if he wasn’t 100% sure, 100% logical, they would see through him.

“Tell them,” Shiemi’s voice rang through the air, strong and steady. “They should know, Rin.”

Fear seized Rin. So much he was almost paralyzed. ‘Don’t do this to me,’ he tried to tell her with his expression, but Shiemi’s clear green eyes didn’t take no for an answer.

Rin bent his head, scrunched his eyes shut and took a deep breath.

“Takeshi,” Rin didn’t know how he sounded, but there must be something in his voice, for Takeshi had stilled in his arms. “Setsuko.” Rin just felt numb.

He opened his eyes and mustered as much courage as he could.

“I am your mother.”

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This is Rin’s POV, and Rin always refers to others by their first names, without any honorifics.  
> 2\. Loosely translated to ‘please get along with me’ or ‘please take care of me’  
> 3\. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rangaku  
> 4\. This is obviously inspired by Mahou Shoujo Madoka’s Tomoe Mami’s fighting style.  
> 5\. I didn’t put an age to Setsuko and Takeshi yet, but it’s actually okay to talk about origins of a baby to a six years old, according to this: http://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/age-by-age-guide-to-talking-to-kids-about-sex/


	21. Chapter 21

_“…you do love him. He is the most important thing in your life, the one thing every other aspect of your life circles around.” Every trace of amusement vanished from Mephisto’s face as if it had never been. “So understand this: I will do my utmost to see that you will live the rest of your life never setting foot on the same continent as Rin again. You will never see him, never hear word of him, never know what becomes of him if I have my way. And believe me, I am very, very good at accomplishing anything I set out to do.”_

Mephisto to Yukio in " **To be Good** ", by Kizmet [1]

* * *

 

41.

“Is it Papa?” Setsuko perked up at the sound of the front door being opened. A huge smile brightened her face. “Papa’s home! Papa!” She jumped and ran to the door.

“Hmmph!” Takeshi pretended to be focused on his drawings, but the little boy peered in the direction of the porch now and then.

Rin grinned and tugged his toddler along with him. “Let’s go greet Yukio, eh?”

Setsuko was already nestled against Yukio’s chest on the doorway, her short arms clutching the tall man’s neck with all the might of a five-year-old. “I miss you, I miss you, I miss you!” she kept murmuring. “Ne, Papa, don’t go away again!”

His little girl’s attachment to Yukio was surprising, considering how seldom the moley four eyes was home.

(Ah, now Rin had irritated himself with that thought.)

Yukio only laughed before dropping a kiss on Setsuko’s smooth temple. “I’m sorry, my princess. It’s not possible.”

“What a quick answer,” Rin heaved a sigh and shook his head before craning his neck toward his husband. “Welcome home, Yukio,” Rin pressed his lips against Yukio’s, his whole body seeking his warmth.

“I’m home, Nii-san,” Yukio’s smile for him was so, so lovely Rin’s heart stopped.

 “Ne, Papa? Why is it not possible?” the girl interrupted the mood. Her pout was so cute Rin could forgive her this once (who is he kidding, Rin could forgive Setsuko anything). “What is your job?”

 “Oh…” Yukio began.

“An exorcist!” Rin chimed in enthusiastically as the younger man finished with, “A secret police for the government.”

Yukio and Rin shot each other an incredulous look.

“Yuki-chan, you’re back!” Shiemi suddenly appeared from the back of the house, freshly showered. “Welcome-”

Before she could complete the sentence, Yukio had already deposited Setsuko at the blonde woman’s side. “Shiemi-san! Please watch over the kids,” his eyebrows twitched, “I need to have a word with Nii-san.”

“Yukio-” Rin found himself precipitously manhandled to the study, a place the children and even Rin rarely entered because it was dim and filled with old tomes, gone dusty in their owner’s absence. The elder twin coughed after he was released. “What’s with the violence, four eyes!?”

“Nii-san!” Ah, it’s been a while since Rin was at the receiving end of that cold frown. “Why did you tell them I am an exorcist!?”

“Because that’s the truth!” Had Yukio hit his head too hard in his last mission?

“Both of them were born without Satan’s powers,” Yukio sighed. “We should give them a chance to live normal lives.”

Rin’s eyes widened. “But…” what the four eyes said held some truth. He felt a little guilty to be the parent who introduced his kids to the concept of Gehenna without their consent. But wait a minute! “…I gave them mashou when they were birthed,” he argued. “It’s better for them to be prepared-”

Yukio shook his head disapprovingly. “We can always ask for the eyedrops from Sir Pheles, Nii-san.”

“But…” Rin hated it whenever he saw that expression on his bondmate’s face. “But…” he clenched his fists. “Is lying the only way you know how to communicate to others!?”

Yukio seemed taken aback. “Hah?” his eyes widened. “Nii-san-”

“First you wanted to tell them you’re their uncle!” Rin’s voice grew louder and louder. “Now you want to hide their ancestry from them?

“Nii-san, keep it down-”

“You’re unbelievable!” Rin couldn’t stop himself. His sight was turning blurry.

They hadn’t seen each other for months. This wasn’t how he’d envisioned their reunion would turn out.

“They only have the genetic potential!” Yukio must be exasperated as well, since he too, had given up keeping his volume low. Rin couldn’t imagine what Shiemi and the children must be feeling, hearing the argument outside. “We must keep them as far away from the magnetic fields as possible!”

“Hah?” Rin seriously thought that Yukio had really injured his head. “Magnetic…?”

At a time like this, Yukio’s phone rang.

Rin growled. “Ignore it!”

Yukio gritted his teeth and glared daggers at his pocket, but he took it, nevertheless. “Hai, Okumura speaking,” he gave the device his standard answer as he turned away from Rin.

Rin was really, really tempted to throw the heavy books on the shelves at his bondmate. But…he’d never raise his arms against his brother. He just wouldn’t.

That didn’t stop him from verbally lashing out. “I’ll tell them what I want!” Rin declared, “as long as you’re not home to stop me!”

That actually got Yukio off the damn phone. The look in his eyes, though…

“…You’re unfair.” It was filled with hurt.

Rin flinched. “Yukio-” he reached out.

But before the elder twin could grasp the other end of his String of Fate, a scream of agony originated from the speaker of the phone.

“Sir Okumura!” someone said desperately. “Please!”

Yukio spun on his heels, his expression pinched. He pushed the windows open, and jumped off the ledge.

Rin suppressed the scream that was building up in his throat as he watched the flaming blue figure of his precious tearing through the sky with spread wings, appearing smaller and smaller with each passing second.

“Yukio, you idiot!!” He couldn’t stop the tears, though.

* * *

Yuuko-san just needed one glance at his face to parse what had happened. “A fight with _Ani_?”

Yukio didn’t reply. He only loaded his pistols.

Shura-san cackled at him from his other side. “Must be coz of yer obtuseness, _Bibiri_.”

A vein pulsed on Yukio’s temple. “Everyone in position for formation delta!” he barked his order. “There are demons to exorcise!”

Both Upper First class women smirked at him.

“Yes, Sir Okumura~”

* * *

 

42.

“State your full name and affiliation.”

Yukio took a deep breath and straightened himself. “Okumura Yukio, Upper First class exorcist and Secretary of the True Cross Order Japanese Branch,” he responded steadily.

“Okumura Yukio!” The judge Timote Timowas addressed him. “Do you deny that your bondmate, husband and twin brother, Okumura Rin, an offspring of Satan, is currently carrying your child?”

The Grigori stood next to the grey-haired man in the black robe, as well as the four Arc knights, the Angelic Legion and other top-tier officials.

Only the Paladin’s seat was vacant, due to the grave injuries Sir Angel sustained from the Illuminati’s latest attack in the Holy Land.

Yukio pursed his lips. “No,” he answered honestly. He could not lie under the supplementary terms of the Morina’s contract he’d affixed a seal of his blood to. Everyone present should be aware of this. Yukio used this chance. “It was entirely accidental.”

His statement caused some kind of an uproar amongst the panel.

“How could it be?” One of the Angelic Legion questioned him. “Okumura Rin is male. Pregnancies amongst males have to be premeditated. There is no other way!”

“I don’t know,” Yukio had to admit, but he stood his ground. “I spoke nothing but the truth,” he reminded them.

The buzzing increased.

“Silence!” Judge Timowas knocked his hammer against the table. “Regardless of your intent, Okumura Yukio, we cannot allow more of Satan’s lineage to be born. Considering the loyalty and length of service of both you and Okumura Rin, we are willing to put execution off the table. The Vatican doesn’t condone abortion, but-”

“Are you willing to risk it?” Yuuko-san suddenly interrupted.

The judge shot the Honorary Knight an irritated look. “Sir Takani, do not interrupt me.” [2]

The centuries-old descendant of Hakutaku, the mythical beast of intelligence, merely leaned further on the table surface in front of her and twirled a lock of hair which had gotten loose from her tight bun. “I’m saying that the loyalty you praised just now would be a puff of air if you threaten to kill the unborn babies of the offspring of Satan.”

“I agree,” Shura-san followed up immediately. “Knowing Okumura Rin, there would be no limit he wouldn’t cross to protect his family.”

Yukio couldn’t help but shot the two women a grateful smile. He owed them lots.

Yuuko-san waved at him in response, while Shura-san only shrugged.

“But,” Timowas didn’t appear to know how to continue.

Yukio latched on the chaos to speak his mind. “I swear my brother…Okumura Rin and I have no wish to harm Assiah! I say this under the Morina’s contract!”

“You’re strong enough to defeat the demons bound to the contract!” One official from the panel shouted at him. “How do we know we can trust you?”

Everyone began to speak their minds, a plethora of voices echoing down the courtroom.

“Silence!” One of the Grigori finally opened her mouth. She was promptly obeyed. “Okumura Yukio,” she stared at the witness. “You have a plan to propose.”

“Yes.” As expected of the Grigori; they could be sharp. Yukio braced himself. There would be no turning back.

“Let Nii-san’s child live,” before the rest could protest, Yukio finished. “And in exchange, you can keep me as your hostage.”

TBC

Please review!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I finally read the masterpiece that is Kizmet's Tear Me Down series. More like, skimmed. And I bawled through 'To Be Good'. I didn't even have the strength to read it word for word. I've never seen any other story delving deep into Yukio's psychology as well-written as that series. But it's a very dark story. It's sad that the two things I believe Yukio has that I'm trying to showcase in 'Wired Life' - his obsession to protect Rin and his fear of the 'Satan's son' part of Rin - had caused Yukio to spiral into insanity so quietly nobody noticed until it was past the point of no return. But Yukio's motivations in that story remained true as in 'Wired Life' - a love for Rin so all consuming there was nothing left of Yukio if it was taken away from him. Scene 41 and 42 were thought of long before I scanned through Tear Me Down series, but they bumped up my 'ideas of next scenes' list so fast you have no idea...Anyways, please take a look at that series.  
> 2\. The Japanese word for Sir/Lord title of knights is 'Kyo', which isn't gender-specific.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long A/N is long:  
> 1\. Reading Kizmet's masterpiece series reminded me that Ao no Exorcist is actually VERY, VERY dark, only made seemingly cheery by the story-telling (the omakes and the sorrows of Salaryman Exorcist haha). I thank Katou-sensei for giving Rin a stubbornly optimistic personality, because having caused the death of his foster father, ostracized as a demon all his life and reminded that he was the bad twin (even unintentionally, by the worrywart Yukio who mostly meant well and only wanted Rin to do his homework dammit, teaching him to protect himself the only way Yukio knew how - to be a 'good' boy) seriously could make anyone suicidal. Of course, some things seeped in, like Rin thinking he was stupid, and always charging into danger alone, but it is a relief that in the Kraken arc Rin has accepted himself as who he is. Being Yukio couldn't be easy as well. Single-track mind and inferiority complex together makes an obsessive individual. Yukio is behind Rin in a sense that he still could not accept himself, I think. He still saw himself as weak. He suppressed instead of letting out. Not to mention he must be harbouring a deep fear of turning into a demon. This is why I love Yukio haha deep down he is fragile; Rin is the one who could bounce off calamities. Anyways, what I want to say is, Katou-sensei, you are brilliant!  
> 2\. I want to apologize in advance that I can't update until Saturday/Friday night depending on where you live. My schedule is packed...I will be going home at 10-11pm for the next three days.
> 
> Finally, please enjoy!

_So, everything that makes me whole_  
 _I will dedicate them all to you now_  
 _I'm yours_

My Dearest, Supercell

* * *

43.

Shiemi didn’t understand why she was here.

“We cannot allow more of Satan’s lineage to be born…” Shiemi wanted to bolt from her chair the moment she heard that, and talk back at the people hiding behind the table, no matter they were her superiors. She couldn’t be gladder to hear Takani-sensei’s and Kirigakure-sensei’s rebuttals.

Then. “Let Nii-san’s child live,” Yuki-chan bargained. “And in exchange, you can keep me as your hostage.”

Shiemi nearly slipped off her seat.

_What?_

Kirigakure-sensei openly smacked her face with her palm. “ _Bibiri,_ are ye out of your mind!? _”_

Her language was too coarse for courtrooms, but she could be excused. _Everyone_ was talking over one another, after all.

“Listen!” Yukio spoke, his booming teacher’s voice. “If what you fear is us raising an army of part-demons, you can erase that possibility by disabling us from scheming!”

 _Rin, scheming!?_ Shiemi’s head spun. _These people don’t know Rin at all!_

“And your husband won’t go ballistic in his attempt to get you back, is it?” Someone from the Angelic Legion remarked derisively. “It’ll be an excuse for him to attack us!”

“He doesn’t have to _know_ I am a hostage,” Yuki-chan looked way, way too calm to Shiemi. He was offering himself to be separated from his soulmate. Shiemi couldn’t imagine staying away from Ryuuji longer than a couple of weeks. Not only that, Yuki-chan was offering to put up such a HUGE lie to Rin.

“And,” before the crowd’s conversations drowned him again, Yuki-chan added, “You can send someone to keep an eye on my brother as well. I propose Suguro Shiemi, Middle Second class exorcist, member of True Cross Order Japanese Branch, to be appointed the task of minding Okumura Rin.”

“Yuki-chan!” Shiemi couldn’t keep herself silent anymore. _That’s why you insisted that I come with you-_

“Suguro Shiemi?” Judge Timowas ignored her completely and said her name with much skepticism. “Who we’re dealing with, Okumura Rin, both outranks and overpowers her! And hasn’t she always been part of the same circle [1] as Satan’s son himself? How can we-”

“If you send anyone else but her, her bondmate Middle First class Suguro Ryuuji or anyone from our circle, to live with him for extended periods, Nii-san will realise something is up,” Yukio argued convincingly. “And don’t you dare doubt the Suguro couple! Her maiden family has manned the pharmacy that has served the Tokyo Branch for generations, and Suguro’s father Tatsuma was the Head Priest of Myoo Dha sect, half of them loyal members of the Kyoto Branch!”

Yukio was so persistent and factual nobody could retort him for a moment.

Suddenly, Lewin Light, the Master of Lighting, rose to his feet and clapped. “What a debate! Well played, well played!”

“Sir Light,” Timowas sighed, “not you too.”

“I like his idea,” the Arc knight grinned, “And since you’re here, Suguro Shiemi, perhaps you can contribute your opinion?” Someone actually addressed her for the first time.

“I-” Shiemi stumbled at suddenly being placed under the spotlight, but recovered quickly. “Could you not separate Ri…the Okumura couple-”

“Notion rejected,” the judge interrupted and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What has the Vatican come to…” he complained under his breath.

“Well…with his wound, it seems unlikely for Sir Angel to be able to return to active duty so soon…” Sir Light placed his hands on his waist. “That’s troublesome…”

Takani-sensei caught what the Master of Lighting was hinting. “I nominate Okumura Yukio, Upper First class Secretary of the Japanese Branch, as a Paladin candidate,” she raised her arm up high.

_“What!?”_

“Is that a joke?”  

“He’s never even been an Arc Knight!”

“Should have known that those of demon blood would side with demons!” A top official barked in Takani-sensei’s direction venomously, “you white pig!” [2]

The long-haired woman bared her fangs at her opponent.

“I’m seconding Sir Takani!” Sir Light casually raised his hand before the courtroom could turn to a bloodbath. “There’s no better way to keep Okumura-kun in line than to appoint him a Paladin, who is accompanied by the Upper First class on a daily basis, and has to pledge his life to the Grigori! Besides, this also solves our manpower issue!” He smiled gleefully.

The majority of the courtroom still looked baffled.

“My fellow Arc knights, any objections?” Sir Light cut to the chase.

The three top-tier figures were quick to shake their heads. Could it be that the Paladin was not as desirable a position as everyone thought?

“The Grigori has no objections as well,” they gave their answer without any prompting.

Sir Light grinned. “Well, then-”

“Wait!” Shiemi mustered as much courage as she could. “I have one condition!”

Everyone in the courtroom actually turned to her and didn’t speak, perhaps stunned by her audacity (or idiocy). Nevertheless, with her cheeks red, she ploughed on. “I will only accept to be Rin’s minder if you let Yuki-ch…Okumura Yukio stay with his husband until the baby is born!”

Sir Light and the Grigori looked at each other, before the Master of Lightning shrugged. “We can arrange for Okumura-kun to be posted in Tokyo during his…adaptation period.”

Shiemi released the breath she'd been holding. “...All right.”

“All right!” Sir Lewin Light’s lips curved upward so wide the smile split his face, and more. “I guess a congratulation is in order, Sir Okumura Yukio! Lord Paladin of the True Cross Order!”

* * *

Later, after the unbelievable debacle was over, Yuki-chan caught her before she could flee back home.

“Shiemi-san!” How could his voice still be even!? “I’m sorry for springing this on you…I can’t thank you enough.”

Yuki-chan’s sincere gaze only broke Shiemi’s heart.

“Don’t thank me!” she swatted his hand. “How could you do this to Rin?” She suddenly gasped. “Y-you didn’t…you didn’t do these because of what I told you last month, right?” _That was just an initial diagnosis, right?_

“Of course not!” Yuki-chan’s reply assured Shiemi (even though now she really didn’t know if she could trust what he said). “I couldn’t see any other way for them to let us keep the baby!”

 _Us_ , Shiemi was relieved to hear the word, the desperation in his tone, now that they were in private.

She reached out for the touch she once rejected. “I don’t like this.”

Shiemi felt rather than heard the sigh. Yuki-chan was trembling. “Please take care of Nii-san, Shiemi-san.”

Shiemi couldn't nod hard enough. “I will,” she promised.

_It’s too unfair._

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The ‘circle’ is my made up word: a preset group of exorcists who are often sent out to field work as a team. Typically, the circle contains exorcists of diverse talents, and is guided by an Upper class. Our protagonists – Ryuuji (Aria, Dragoon), Koneko (Aria), Izumo (Tamer), Shiemi (Doctor, Tamer) and Rin (Knight), mentored by Yukio (Doctor, Dragoon) – is a holistic combi, though a little short of offensive Meister (a.k.a. Knights and Dragoons). Emphasis on Yukio being a mentor rather than the circle's captain because Yukio tends to micro-manage and him constantly leading Rin would destroy their relationship. Yes I excluded Renzou because I have no idea of his allegiance as of manga chapter 60.  
> 2\. Hakutaku/Bai Ze, meaning 'white marsh', is supposed to be a heavenly beast of luck and intelligence in Chinese mythology, but I’ve never encountered any creatures classified as heavenly beasts in AnE. If fact, if mythical beasts like Phoenix/Karura, Ucchusma and Naga are high-class demons, then Hakutaku/Bai Ze is certainly a high-class demon as well.


	23. Chapter 23

_I look at a beautiful beast_  
 _Born mysteriously_  
 _Now, I’ll turn the joy of finding what I was looking for into a song_  
 _Let it be heard_

Hatsukoi Shoujo, Shiina Ringo

* * *

 

 

44.

The fluffy-haired Arc Knight noticed her in the hallways, leaning against the wall outside his office as she smoked an intricately carved _kiseru_ [1]. “Hi, Lady Takani!” he flashed her a goofy smile. “How can I help you?” he opened his door and invited her.

The woman owning the world’s most compatible body to house the spirit of Bai Ze exhaled the waste of her lungs to his face as she stepped inside his office.

“Lewin,” she addressed him boldly. No titles, no honorifics.

He remembered peering up at her from under the brim of his hat when he was young, ages ago, as she calmly commanded over thousands panicked exorcists in the wake of the Blue Night.

“I suppose I need to thank you,” he ignored her rudeness even though he was technically her superior. “For having read my hint.” If she wasn’t labeled more demonic than human by the Vatican, Takani Yuuko wouldn’t be stuck as an Honorary Knight for as long as she lived.

Just like Mephisto Pheles.

Takani snorted and seated herself on his sofa like his office was a part of her home. “Like you needed it.” She crossed her legs, causing the hem of her short Cheongsam to ride higher on her pale thighs. “If I didn’t raise the nomination, you would have done so yourself and mentally bullied one of your Arcs to second you.”

Lewin scratched the back of his head. “You know me too well, sensei.”

Takani flicked her _kiseru_ , purposely depositing ash on his table. She reacted just as he’d predicted.

“What are you playing at, Lewin,” she glared at him. Never beating around the bush, this doctor.

“I’m sure,” Lewin deliberately sat on the surface she’d littered on, and invaded her personal space. Two could play this game. “Having been his teacher, you know how much _potential_ Okumura Yukio has,” he leaned forward.

Takani didn’t flinch. Her brown, human eyes scrutinized him, every inch of his face, with distrust, until they turned gold.

“Don’t you dare sacrifice him for your gains, Lewin,” she hissed, the eye on her forehead fixed on him.

Lewin only smiled.

* * *

 

45.

_It’s been a month._

“You have the tendency to put your weight on your legs when you shoot.” As Yuuko lectured Yukio, Rin stared nervously at the various batting machines pointed at his bespectacled brother. Each ball can pack a mean punch if it hit you. “You have to be comfortable with having no grounds to absorb the kinetic energy of the bullets propelled.”

Yukio had his brows furrowed so deep he looked constipated. “Understood.”

Rin and Shura had had Yukio experiment with a number of exercises to improve his control of the blue flames. They tried the candles first, of course, but Yukio seemed to be a different mold of demon from Rin, because rather than burning down all the candles, he had difficulty even lighting up one.

“Nii-san!” Yukio had snapped at him, “Don’t shoulder more of my powers in you! That’s counter-productive!”

Rin flailed his arms. “I’m not, I swear!”

Shura and Yuuko had their faces folded. “Fire doesn’t seem to be Yukio-chan’s domain…” the petite woman thought out loud.

“Ah, so troublesome,” Shura sighed. “ _Bibiri_ , let out all yer powers now!”

“Hah?”

“Oh, I see,” Yuuko exclaimed, then nodded along. “We’ll only find out after you let out enough of them for us to see, Yukio-chan,” she explained gently.

Yukio’s face was covered in shadows. “But-”

“We’ll catch you,” Yuuko placed a reassuring hand on the tall male’s broad shoulder, “you can trust us.”

“…Yuuko-san.” Rin couldn’t stand to hear how moved his younger brother sounded.

Shura clucked her tongue. “Such a scaredy cat!”

“Shura-san!” The knight was glared at intensely. “I’ve decided to not have expectations of you long ago!”

Eventually, Yukio did released more of his powers, and brought a typhoon into the room.

And that was how they discovered Yukio was an air elemental, with tendencies to defend or enhance himself rather than attack.

“Don’t shoot anything but the golf balls,” Yuuko’s reminder brought Rin out of his memories, into the batting centre that had been rearranged to be Yukio’s butchering table, if anything went wrong. “Also,” she added belatedly, “take off your clothes.”

“Hah?” Yukio’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his socket. Rin too, jumped from his perch on the side of the room. “What for?”

“I know you’re a perve, but…” Shura said disdainfully.

“No, idiots!” Yuuko shook her head. ‘That’s a bonus, but…’ She murmured, not seeming flustered in the least. “All those potions, magazines and canisters of holy water, not to mention the thick overcoat, are weights dragging you down and serve as unnecessary wind resistance. You need to get used to them gradually, but not now. Besides,” she showed everyone a smug expression, “How many shirts have you torn giving your wings a material form?”

Yukio pinched the bridge of his nose. “…Understood.”

The nearly six foot young man took everything off, leaving just his underwear and shorts (and of course, glasses).

The sight caused desire to pool in Rin’s gut. Even though he’d never considered himself as anything but straight, and the moley four-eye’s body was _so_ male. All lean muscles on his legs and larger biceps from wielding high-powered guns. No wasted softness or curves.

Yuuko openly ogled her student (what a pedophile!) before walking over to the system panel. “One magazine is enough, since there are only 6 golf balls,” she poised her finger on the button. “Ready?”

Yukio gave a sharp nod, anxiety in every line of his body.

“Special Infinity mode, selected.”

Rin didn’t dare to blink. Having one batting machine constantly firing balls at you at such speed was scary, having _several_ must be downright suicidal. He could see that Yukio was struggling right from the start.

“Keep your body streamlined,” Yuuko coached, “and release more power! You can achieve a higher speed than this!”

Yukio frowned as he dodged the balls heading for his sternum and right knee, and fired his first shot.

A golf ball dropped to the floor and rolled away.

“Good! Keep it up!”

Yukio looked pleased with the praise, but half a second after that, six balls charged straight at his body, and he…lost control.

The blue flames around his body burned bright, his wings twisting as they brought him higher to the ceiling. Simultaneously, an erratic barrier of wind began to form.

Rin could sense his bondmate’s panic through their connection. “Yukio!”

Then, in the blink of an eye, the blue flames vanished, along with the wings. Yukio dropped seven feet to the ground.

“Yukio!” Rin quickly launched himself to his brother’s side. “Are you all right?”

“…m…fine,” the moley grunted as he rubbed his tailbone. _All right, my arse._

“Typical of _Bibiri_ , to run away the moment yew feel insecure,” Shura sighed. “Unlike yer guns, this power doesn’t come with safety and triggers.” [2]

A vein pulsed on Yukio’s temple. “One more time,” he told Yuuko and spread his wings, his eyes burning blue.

“Yukio!” _Argh, why was he so stubborn!?_ Before the taller male took off again, Rin grabbed his wrist and shared something he’d learned from the candles exercise, “It helps to envision the wind in shapes you want them to take. Ah, and picture their detailed position, too!”

Yukio stared at him in surprise, speechless for a moment, before he smiled. “Thanks, Nii-san.”

Rin found his cheeks growing warm.

_Don’t say it like that when you’re sweaty and half naked, idiot!_

“Special Infinity mode, restart,” the system announced.

Yukio appeared calmer as he faced his ‘opponents’. He flipped around on the air to dodge the three balls aiming for the back of his head, and fired another shot.

“Picture a half blade under your wings, supporting them,” Rin shouted his suggestion, and was giddy when it was taken up, to Yukio’s advantage.

“A-aand that’s the sixth,” after fifteen minutes, the exercise came to a close. “Result’s good, for a first exercise,” Yuuko looked content.

“Thank you,” Yukio replied his teacher with a muted pride. He turned to Rin and hesitated, before saying, “Controlling the flame is…harder than I thought. I’m sorry I…made light of it in the past during the candle exercises, Nii-san,” his determined, self-conscious face as Yukio mustered his courage to tell Rin these made the elder male’s heart falter.

And Rin’s eyes couldn’t seem to stop following the trail of a bead of sweat as it slid down Yukio’s skin, from his neck to his chest to the ripples of his abs.

Yuuko must have noticed something, because she cleared her throat and pulled the taller woman by the hand. “Ah, I forgot we have an Upper Class meeting! Yukio-chan, debrief you later, okay?”

Shura appeared surprised. “Hey, we don’t-”

But the petite woman had managed to yank her colleague out of the room with her. “Bye!”

As soon as they were left alone, Rin followed his libido and forced himself into his younger brother’s personal space.

“Nii-san?” Yukio’s eyes widened when Rin laid his hands on his cheeks.

“You have two seconds,” Rin told him, his breath seeming hot. “1, 2,” he crashed his lips onto the other male.

 _Ah, yes_.

Rin didn’t know how he could have waited one month. _So good_ , he thought as he pressed against the solid wall of muscles that was Yukio’s chest, his hands roaming down the taller male’s back and mussing his wind tousled hair. _So right_ , the closeness felt like coming home. Rin wanted to bury himself under Yukio’s skin and stay there.

“Ah,” Yukio moaned and pressed back against Rin for a moment, before he struggled and pulled away from Rin’s face. “Nii-san!” his face was bright red, his spectacles askew and foggy from heated breaths. “What are you doing?”

“What am I…” Rin leaned forward in a daze, his face searching blindly for his soulmate’s before he sighed when he realized Yukio wasn’t going to give in without any explanations. _Gee, the one time he actually wanted to talk…_ “We are bondmates. Romantic bondmates. What’s wrong with being intimate with your own bondmates?”

Yukio blinked, the blush on his cheeks dissipating. Rin missed them already. “Ah, I thought…” the four eyes attempted to retrieve the use of his arms from Rin’s tight embrace, but Rin wouldn’t give it back. “You...initiated the consummation because you wanted to help me control my powers…”

“Well…” Rin threw his gaze. “There is that…but…” okay, it’s Rin’s turn to confess. The elder twin inhaled deeply and faced Yukio head on. “I want to experience this soulmate business with you. I want to grow older with the person who’s meant for me, the person I’m meant to be with. I…didn’t want to lose you.” Still, Rin couldn’t help but droop his head after he finished.

 _What a selfish reason_.

“But…” Yukio didn’t sound bothered or disgusted. His voice was still predominantly filled with shock. “Aren’t you straight, Nii-san?”

Rin swung from guilty to irate in 0.1 second. “So what?” He snapped at his companion, before his eyes widened in disbelief. “You don’t seriously think I will still…chase girls after...”

Yukio’s lowered gaze was enough of an answer.

Rin snarled, before snapping his hips upwards, rubbing his hardness against the moley four eye’s hips. This epitome of a Japanese teenage _male_. [3] Yukio gasped in surprise.

“How? Do I still seem like I don’t want to fuck the living daylights out of you?” Rin reverted to his delinquent language in his frustration as he continued rocking against his companion. “Would I be like this if I didn’t find you attractive?”

“N-nii-san,” Yukio panted, and started rutting back, the bulge in his groin growing harder against Rin’s dick.

Rin very much wanted to stick his hands into this ‘I-always-think-too-much’ guy’s pants and start stroking (so he could see that collected façade break completely in pleasure), but he needed to say this.

“I want to experience this soulbond with you,” Rin repeated the words to Yukio’s lips, earnest blue eyes staring straight into the other end of his string. “Every single aspect,” he ended with a kiss.

(Rin should have known better than to expect that had solved everything. Word is cheap.

But at least, he has a lifetime to prove it.)

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiseru  
> 2\. I guessed this is why Yukio the control freak chose to be a Dragoon as his offensive Meister, rather then a Knight. Most powerful knights made a contract with a familiar to enhance their Koumaken (Arthur with the spirit within Excalibur, Shura with what I suspect is Yamata no Orochi, the eight-headed serpent, since her spell is 'Devour the eight Princesses, slay the serpent', and even Rin with Ucchusma in the Kyoto arc). It's not like Yukio has no talent as a tamer at all (the Naiads), but there is always a risk of your familiars disobeying you when your heart wavers. Guns, with safeties, triggers and other mechanisms are 'easy' to control.  
> 3\. Yuri Egin sounds like a Russian name, or at least Slavic. Do the Okumura bros have the appearance of Japanese, or mixed, or Slavic? Well, Shura has weird colourings as well, must be the anime universe’s laws.


	24. Chapter 24

_Defect Malfunction Symbol Illusion_  
 _Imagination Fiction Image Statue_  
 _Source Mask Contradiction_  
 _Territory Confrontation Discord Past_  
 _Collapse Missing Truth Conflict_  
 _Prediction Circumstances Reverse Victim_  
 _Expectation Dream Problem Reality_

_It’s too late_

Teokure, ryo (Supercell)

* * *

 

46.

_The dinner table was too quiet._

_“Rin sure is late,” Nagamoto commented absently, giving voice to the sentence in everyone’s head._

_Yukio frowned and merely filled his mouth with more rice. He needed to read up on the brief for tomorrow’s mission._

_“I’m home!” Not long after, Nii-san entered with a grin. Speaking of the devil…_

_“Welcome home, Rin!” Maruta greeted him._

_“Did you get into another fight?” Kyodo shook his head._

_“Shut up! I have other things to do, too,” Nii-san might be grumbling, but he had changed the atmosphere just by his presence. Even Yukio couldn’t help but smile._

_“You’re not chasing girls, are you?” Izumi wriggled an eyebrow._

_Yukio waited for his routine reply. But this time, Nii-san didn’t say anything. He merely stood there, his cheeks turning pink._

_Everyone’s eyes widened._

_Father Fujimoto rose to his feet. “Rin, don’t tell me you actually…”_

_Rin plopped himself to the empty chair and filled his bowl with dishes noisily. “As if you’d know!” he said brusquely before stuffing his mouth with food, ending any possibility of an immediate conversation._

_Yukio stared at the little finger of his left hand, the red thread looped around it unchangingly. Voices echoed in his head. ‘Who? When? How did this happen? Who seduced Nii-san? Who-’_

_Suddenly, Yukio was filled with nausea. “Gochisousama,” he barely managed before he got up and left. ‘Nothing happened! Your imaginations just ran too wild!’ he told himself._

_“Yukio-kun?” The older men asked after him, but none of them gave chase. Good._

_Later, as Yukio was summarizing the next chapter of Japanese History, finally calm again, Rin entered their shared bedroom. “Ah, so tired, so tired!” He took off his black gakuran and carelessly threw it to the hamper, missing by inches._

_Yukio twitched in irritation. “Nii-san!” he turned around, and was about to tell off his older brother, when he laid his eyes on it._

_A dark hickey on the side of Nii-san’s neck._

_The memory crumpled into pieces._

_Toudou’s grinning face filled Yukio’s sight, golden eyes twinkling in glee, shadows from Karura’s flames dancing on his skin._

_“Your brother is stronger than you,” he spoke to the scant space between their lips, “And he gets better moral support from his friends. Nobody needs you back there.”_

_Yukio tried to jerk away, open his mouth and argue, anything, but he could not move. His body didn’t obey him._

_Hot fingers caressed his face. “We’re different,” Toudou’s voice took on a more soothing quality, “we’ll treasure you. We’ll make you stronger.”_

_“Come,” the demon invited._

“NOO!” Yukio lurched from his bed and sat upright, nearly rolling off the edge as his legs fought from entanglement with his blanket. His eyes darted unseeingly as he breathed in short gasps.

“Hnhh,” someone groaned. Someone cramped in his futon, clinging to his side. “Yu…kio?” Rin spoke, his eyes still clamped shut. “Whaaa…time izit?” his question was interrupted by a large yawn.

Yukio pressed one palm on his chest and willed his rapidly beating heart to slow down. He automatically looked at the watch he only ever took off when taking showers. “…4:30 a.m…”

“Too earrrly,” Rin slurred, one hand reaching out aimlessly until it hit Yukio’s side. The elder twin wrapped his arm around Yukio’s naked waist, his fingers curled around a hipbone. “Sleep,” he commanded woozily, and yanked down.

Yukio nearly fell on Rin and squashed him. “Nii-san!” he hissed. There wasn’t enough space for both of them on the futon meant for a single occupant. They weren’t kids anymore…

_(Yukio shouldn’t need Rin to protect him from nightmares anymore.)_

Rin only replied with a snore. He’d returned to sleeping like the dead.

Yukio sighed. He laid down and tried to follow his brother’s advice for once, but after tossing and turning for ten minutes, he gave up.

‘I should just practice…’ he thought as he extricated his limbs off Rin’s octopus grip.

He enjoyed a long bath, the first time after a long while, letting the hot water wash the tension on his spine and his temple away. Yukio didn’t feel hungry, so after he put on his clothes quietly, he took his keys and dropped by the simulation room.

Yukio lost himself in shooting holographic targets. After a few rounds, his arms began to ache (a good, familiar ache), but his concentration broke when a gigantic demonic display suddenly appeared from his back and attacked him, knocking one gun off his hands as static electricity passed through him when the hologram collided against him.

‘Damn!’ Yukio cursed subconsciously, blue flames rising in his eyes.

_Yuuko-san and Nii-san aren’t here to bring you back from the brink._

The sudden thought caught Yukio off-guard. The flame died before it could spread to the rest of his body, and his opponent barreled into him straight on.

“Special Infinity mode auto-terminated. Player unable to complete the stage,” the system declared a pre-programmed line.

The line Yukio hadn’t heard for a while.

“Do you wish to restart?”

Yukio nearly slammed the 'off' button.

Instead, he took a few deep breaths, and went to retrieve his fallen gun before turning off the system.

He made his way to the True Cross Order Tokyo Branch office distracted, inwardly berating himself for being so…

So _scared_.

“Good morning!” Yuuko-san greeted him cheerfully not a moment after Yukio had seated himself in his cubicle. “You’re up early today.”

It wasn’t a question. She’d rarely asked him anything, ever since he was in grade school.

( _Sometimes he wished she had._ )

“Good morning,” he returned politely, and plastered his best smile. “You too.”

Yuuko-san only watched him quietly for two seconds, before her grin widened. Going along with his poorly plastered together charade. “I have good news for you! Starting tomorrow, you’ll be back to teaching anti-demon pharmacology!”

“ _Sou desuka_?” Yukio remarked with relief. Having less time with his thoughts was generally welcome.

“And not only that!” Yuuko-san shoved a letter under his chin. An official letter bearing the Sir Pheles’ seal. “Next week, you’ll be dispatched as a captain for a short mission in Akita. You’ll be leading a team of several Lower and Upper Second class exorcists.”

Yukio’s eyes widened. This was…huge. So far, he’d only gone on solo missions or support a team of other Middle class exorcists. The only time he’d been a captain, it was to a team of exwires in Inari, Shimane and…

(He’d rather not recall that SNAFU.)

“Does this mean…” Yukio sought for confirmation from his mentor figure.

Yuuko-san nodded, the line of her thin brows somber.

“It’s a test, Yukio-chan.”

TBC

Review please!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead, peeps. Sorry for the absence, was working overtime for days. Once, I worked till 2 am. Tough life, tough life.
> 
> Anyways, thanks a lot to the pple who left me kudos or bookmarked the story while I wasn't updating. You know what's better? LEAVE THIS AUTHOR COMMENTS PLS! I'm sure you have a reason why you gave kudos or bookmarked the story. Give this author more inspiration to write please! Coz I'm finding it tougher after a 'long' break...
> 
> WARNING: Girl on girl action in scene 48. Yes, YURI! You've been warned!

_I could hear no one else,_  
 _Only your voice, whispering over and over_  
 _No one could see_  
 _My being lost in an unreachable place_

Te tsukazu na Sekai, Tsubakiya Quartet

* * *

 

47. 

The world had gone radio silent.

‘ _Are you sure?_ ’ Yuki-chan’s mouth moved around words Shiemi could not hear, could barely register from the troubled expression on the man’s face.

The middle-aged professional they were talking to only nodded, a universal, voiceless validation Shiemi shouldn’t have had any trouble understanding.

She left the room in a daze, barely waiting to see if Yuki-chan was following her. Before she knew it, she was seated in the familiar sofa of the home she’d spent days living in, on and off. The pale blue walls and the bright pink flowers and mint green bunnies crayoned onto place by energetic, mischievous toddlers she’d held in her arms.

Dear, beloved children who were not hers.

Faint traces of chamomile reached her nose, grounding her to the present, to Yuki-chan’s concerned gaze on her.

“Shiemi-san,” his voice sounded like it was coming from the end of a long tunnel. “There’s a chance that he’s wrong.”

Shiemi was no fool. “He’s the fourth we have visited, Yuki-chan.”

"But he was the first to make that diagnosis," Yuki-chan argued.

Shiemi wanted to laugh. "Because the other three couldn't even explain why; that's not comforting."

Yuki-chan was speechless for a while. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses to hide his eyes. After so many years, Shiemi knew all his tricks. “You’re still young, Shiemi-san,” he tried again.

Shiemi had had it. “Stop,” she didn’t need to be coddled and protected anymore. She’d stopped needing them long ago. Her gaze was hard as she stared back at him. “We are doctors, Yuki-chan.”

The tall man brought his hands together. “Not that kind of doctor, Shiemi-san.”

The world must be coming to an end, because Shiemi just heard Yuki-chan attempting to joke. [1] “We know enough,” she said forcefully.

“No,” Yuki-chan must have put his foot down, because before Shiemi could rebut, he cut in. “You, stop, Shiemi-san. You’re giving up.”

Shiemi glared at the man who, on hindsight, was her first friend. The world was losing its edges again. “You don’t understand!” No! No, no nononoo stop. She was an adult. Stop, stop, “you father two of them _coincidentally-_ ”

STOP, MORIYAMA.

“Shiemi-san!” Yuki-chan seized her arms roughly, and let go of her immediately afterward, seeming horrified with himself as purple blossomed on the blonde woman’s skin. Shiemi herself was glad for the anchor, and sat back down on the sofa.

“Medical technology has advanced by far. There’re many treatments out there,” Shiemi heard the genius speak without really listening to him, just drained inside out. “There’s also in-vitro…and,” he hesitated, “surrogacy-”

Thankfully, he shut up when Shiemi brought her hands to her face.

_How am I going to tell Ryuuji-kun?_

Yuki-chan accompanied her in the quiet.

* * *

 

48.

“O-oone more cuuuu-hic.”

“No,” Shura sighed and wrenched the sake flask, _tokkuri_ , out of the shorter woman’s grabby hands. “Yev got yer skull full of alcohol.”

“Doon’t be a booorre,” Yuuko slurred as she waved her _ochoko_ – small cylindrical cup – around. “Mooore!” she draped herself over the knight’s side.

“Gedoff!” The ninja was irritated. The weather’s hot and muggy and the stupid perve was sweating against her clammy skin!

“Nuuuh-”

Yuuko leaned too far forward, and they both toppled to the ground.

Shura hit her head against the ground, and hissed. Why did she agree to a private room again? Now none of the waiters could notice the situation and take the drunkard away from here! “Hey!” she barked at the part-beast on top of her chest.

The vermillion-haired woman had her eyes closed as she hurt herself from the fall, so it was _very much_ a surprise when she found soft, wet lips pressed against hers.

“Hnngh,” Yuuko moaned against as she licked and sucked Shura’s lips, “Shura-chan,” soft, skillful hands fondled the knight’s boobs, thumbs circling and brushing the fabric over her nipples maddeningly.

Unexpectedly, Shura sensed her libido respond with interest. The cloth of her bikini felt too damn thin all of a sudden. She, too, must be friggin’ intoxicated.

Still, Shura tried to struggle. “Perve-” she placed her palms on the dragoon’s shoulders, intending to push her away.

But Yuuko intervened by pressing her knee against Shura’s groin and pushed against the denim.

“Ah!” Shura panted as the crease of her shorts rubbed against her clit. The tip of a nail finger dragged against her right nipple once, before short, slender fingers slipped under her bra and teased and pinched and flicked the twin rosy flesh until they were perky.

“H-hey-” Shura’s breath stuttered as the petite perve straddled one of her fishnet-covered thighs and rubbed against her. “Y-your thread-”

“Hmm,” Yuuko had flattened her tongue against the roof of Shura’s mouth before slowly pulling back. “It’s black,” those foxy eyes gave her a knowing look. “Like yours.”

No strings attached, then.

Shura gave up, and laid back on the tatami. She gotta admit, this was _way_ better than masturbation.

At least, until Shura heard a male voice say, “as much as I enjoy the show, could you please let go of the horny bitch, Shura-san?”

Shura dislodged the _Bai Ze_ with a knee-jerk kick to her gut so fast the short perve almost flew to the wall.

Yuuko was, however, caught by a white-robed figure with chin-length midnight blue hair, cerulean eyes twinkling at her. “Oh, careful,” he smirked in amusement.

“The Matchmaker!?” Shura quickly crossed her arms in front of her exposed boobs. “Da hell ya doin’ here!”

“To bring home my bondmate,” he shrugged and picked up the dark-haired woman before flinging her over his shoulder. “I’m not the one you should be worrying about,” his gaze slid to the side…

To the unmoving, tall stature of Sir Mephisto Pheles, frozen as a statue. A dark aura radiated from his face, shadowed by his bangs.

The hairs on the back of Shura’s neck stood. “What!?”

The Matchmaker only smiled offhandedly. “Then, I’ll be taking my leave,” he began to walk away.

Yuuko waved at her as she hung upside down from the white robed magician’s back. “Bye, Shura-chan! Mephisto, don’t be stingy and share, kay?”

“Like hell,” the words growled out of the tall demon’s throat were barbed in steel thorns.

Shura didn’t understand. “What’s going on!?”

“I thought you've heard?” the Matchmaker paused on his way out and turned his head toward her. A thick, furry tail peeked out of the end of his white robe.

“Demons’ strings of fate are black.”

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Iron Man 3 after credit Bruce Banner's cameo. Nuff said.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So. For chapter 25 and 26 I finally gave our het couples their undue attention! Hoho more Okumuracest next week :).

_Am I showing too much of my chest? But you like it this way, right?_  
 _My heels are 3 cm up! Standing on tiptoes, I'm about just the right height_  
 _Baby doll on my wrist, doesn’t the sweet scent make your heart race?_  
 _And my red nail polish is super-cute, right? Come on!_

_Are you dreaming? You’re the only one I won’t say ‘I love you’ to_  
 _So don’t get the wrong idea! I’m a liar._

Sweet Devil, Hatsune Miku (Producer: HachioujiP, Lyricist: q*Left)

* * *

 

49.

_‘Demons’ strings of fate are black.’_

Duh. There was no feckin’ way Shura could have forgot that. The DRAMA between _Bibiri_ and her idiot disciple had imprinted that piece of knowledge in her mind.

For a moment, Shura had glanced at her own black string and pondered. _Could he be not dead?_

 _Nah!_ The thought was chased out in a second. _Too much hassle._

Shura liked her life; it was never boring. Rin was a laugh, but he was a good kid. _Bibiri_ was fun to rile, too.

( _Let someone in, and they will hurt you._ )

On hindsight, Shura wondered as she eyed Mephisto’s frozen stature warily, her mind quickly sobering as seconds ticked away, perhaps she should have given it more thought.

“…what’s yer business!?” Shura clucked her tongue as the silence had gone on too long. She uncrossed her arms and fixed her bra without a care to the world.

Better to expose her skin than to turn her back against this demon, after all.

At long last, a sigh emerged from the tall, bearded male. He raised his hand to his face and pushed his fringe back.

Shura watched unblinkingly. _Did he just press his fingers against his temple?_

“…If you didn’t touch me in Kyoto, I probably wouldn’t have reacted like this,” Mephisto finally said to her, unbuttoning his left glove as he spoke.

Shura subtly placed her weight on the balls of her feet, ready to bolt as soon as her instincts told her to.  

The Honorary Knight discarded the leather piece of clothing to the floor and raised the exposed hand, pale and smooth and a stark contrast to the purple casing it was _very_ seldom released from. He moved it up and down, to the left and the right, amber green eyes watching the space around as if searching for something.

_A weird ritual…?_

The Principal must have found what he needed, because a second later he curled his right hand, thumb pressing against middle and point fingers. “ _Eins, Zwei_ ,”

Before the demon could finish, Shura had placed her palm on her tattoo. “ _Devour the eight princesses, slay the serpent,_ ” she released Kusanagi from the dimension connected to her chest.

“ _Drei!”_ After Mephisto snapped his fingers, there was no explosions. Shura did not find herself teleported to the twilight zone, either.

Instead, Mephisto’s left hand was seemingly elucidated by a glow of supernatural light, revealing the bunch of strings tied to the base of his little finger.

Shura had no interests in strings of fate, so she wasn’t an expert at it, but she had heard of individuals with numerous strings. Nobody really understood what strings of fate were; experimentations were prohibited by the Vatican, and their severance had no adverse effects. Over time, the views of those not interested in the ‘human relationships’ aspect of the strings seemed to boil down to, ‘it’s good to have to enhance both your and your bondmate’s powers, but otherwise, not much difference.’

Anyways, ‘ _not my problem,’_ was the attitude she’d taken her entire life.

Each of Mephisto’s string (black, all black) had a clip fastened to it about a meter away from his finger, dark symbols etched on each clip.

Shura shuddered. The magic felt repulsive. “Wat are those for?”

“Watch,” Mephisto only moved his left hand up and down, to the left and the right again.

Only the strings between Mephisto and the clips were unspooled and followed the demon’s movement. The strings after the clips were taut and still.

Shura’s eyes widened.

“It’s troublesome to have them looking for me, after all. Easier for them to think of me dead,” Mephisto shrugged nonchalantly and reached out to one of the clips and plucked it off.

Immediately, the string that had stayed black and unmoving her twenty six years of life loosened, and shifted downward when Shura caught the tall Honorary Knight putting down his left arm from the corner of her eyes.

Her mind was stunned into silence as she traced her string across the room, all the way to the other end, a familiar face devoid of amusement, just waiting, somber.

A moment passed with just Shura’s even exhales and inhales filling the air.

Eventually, “…Why are you letting me know?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Mephisto shrugged again. “To give you a choice…hmm a warning, really.”

Shura’s eyes flashed. “A warning?” her grip around Kusanagi tightened.

In the blink of an eye, Shura found the manipulative demon standing directly in front of her, gloved fingers touching her chin as he was bent over her, his shadows engulfing hers.

“I won’t hesitate to take control of you after the bond is consummated,” he grinned to the scant space of their breath.

Shura recoiled and gritted her teeth, her arm swinging her sword reflexively. But of course, Mephisto had already fled to the end of the room, next to the sliding doors, before the blade could hit him.

“Right now you’re not a threat, Shura- _chan_ ,” he waved as he stepped out. “Make sure that you’ll stay that way.”

* * *

 

50.

“I heard from Renzou that you’ve found the other end of your string!” The Okami said enthusiastically and eyed the group of exwires around the entrance with much interest. “Who’s she? Introduce her to me, you chicken-haired son!”

Shiemi’s heart rose to her throat.

“Not chicken-” Ryuuji-kun insisted, before he shot the blonde girl a concerned gaze. ‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to,’ seemed to be what he was trying to convey to her.

Shiemi couldn’t have stayed silent. She stepped forward and gave the Okami her best bow. “N-nice to meet you! I’m Moriyama Shiemi.”

“Ah,” Shiemi felt the woman’s eyes scrutinizing her before a hand was laid on her shoulder. “What a cute girl! Nice to meet you too, Moriyama.” The beautiful woman smiled at her kindly. “Now! Tell me, has my boy been treating you well?”

“Uh,” Shiemi’s own smile was slipping. A beat passed before she could reply timidly, “Yes, Ryuuji-kun is kind and intelligent…”

 _What generic words!_ Shiemi was mortified. _She’s going to think that I’m disinterested in her son and unworthy of him!_

The Okami’s expression belayed that she'd noticed something was wrong.

Fortunately, Kirigakure-sensei gave a timely interruption. “Okami, thank you in advance for taking care of us for such a long time.”

Shiemi heaved a sigh of relief as the two older females proceeded to engage in a conversation.

“Moriyama, Kamiki, Takara, Okumura, you will follow Yunokawa-sensei and assist him…” Kirigakure-sensei instructed as the Okami led Ryuuji-kun, Shima-kun and Miwa-kun away. Shiemi was thankful that she didn’t have to face Ryuuji-kun’s mother for a while.

Still, the news must have travelled fast, because Shiemi could feel the stares of many helpers of the inn and Kyoto branch’s exorcists on her.

“Here,” that evening, Ryuuji-kun looked apologetic as he passed her a box of bentou for dinner. “I’m sorry they’re so nosy.”

“No…” Shiemi shook her head as she made more space on the porch for Ryuuji-kun to sit next to her. The backyard was quiet, in contrast to the ruckus inside. The Suguro, Shima and Houjou were such a tight unit they were an extended family. Having lived only with her mother and grandmother, the liveliness was alien, but welcome.

“Still, sorry they were interfering with your work,” Ryuuji-kun remarked as he chewed on his rice.

Shiemi’s face burned. So the monk’s son had heard of her mistakes. “T-that’s my own careless-”

A hand on the back of her exposed neck stopped her from completing her sentence.

“You shouldn’t be so harsh to yourself, Moriyama-san,” Ryuuji-kun told her. “We’re all out of sorts because of what happened with Okumura. You’re not the only one.” He bent down his head as his shoulders slumped. “I should have cared for you better against the overbearing gang of people they call my family.”

“N-no!” Shiemi placed one hand on Ryuuji-kun’s knee and faced him head on. “I, I’ll be more reliable! Strong like the weed!”

Ryuuji-kun finally met her eyes. He stared at her for a moment before a kind smile broke on his face, dissolving the harsh lines that had made Shiemi scared of him in the beginning. “You protected us from the naberius. You’re plenty strong and bold already, Moriyama-san.”

Shiemi blushed for a completely different reason. It was so rare to see this gentleness on the teen boy’s face. “K-kamiki-san also said I’m bold.” [1]

“Don’t compare me to the eyebrows!” Ryuuji-kun quickly remarked, his expression pinched.

Shiemi chuckled. [2] “Ryuuji-kun, again? Why-”

Before she knew it, Shiemi was already enveloped in an embrace, Ryuuji-kun’s long arms wrapped around her.

“Ryuu-ryuuji-kun!?” The blood vessels on Shiemi’s face were going to burst from the amount of times she’d blushed that day.

“I…I was concerned about you, in the shinkansen,” Ryuuji-kun was trembling. He squeezed her tighter. “The blue flames…”

Shiemi calmed down. She closed her eyes and laid her hand on his solid, broad frame. “They were warm, Ryuuji-kun,” she whispered, “We can trust Rin.”

Ryuuji-kun sighed. “I hope so.”

They stayed like that for a while.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This conversation is not supposed to substitute Shiemi's conversation with Izumo in the manga; rather they are supposed to be complementary.  
> 2\. I consider that by this point in time, they're close enough that Shiemi no longer reacts to Bon's bursts of short tempers with fear.


	27. Chapter 27

_The ruined city is still beautiful_   
_I'm waiting a long time for your return_   
_in my hand a forget-me-not flower._

Bios, Kobayashi Mika [1]

* * *

 

51.

Fast forward half a decade, and again, they found themselves in a similar situation.

“You’ve drunk too much, Ryuuji-kun,” Shiemi chided as she held back the hair of the young man bent over the bushes not too far away from the veranda, expelling the acidic contents of his stomach to the innocent wild life.

Shiemi sighed at her asinine commentary as she patted his back. _Anything to keep my nerves from fraying, I suppose…_

“C…can’t help it,” Ryuuji-kun said blearily as he wiped his mouth. “’S not often Renzou can be with us, y’no.” [2]

As if on cue, a crash could be heard from inside the room where the party was still going on full force, loud music blasting in all direction. Shima-kun’s shouts of ‘Not my fault!’ and Rin’s laughter could still be heard over the chaos. Yuki-chan must be pinching the bridge of his nose inside.

Shiemi couldn’t help but smile at the image.

“Okay,” Ryuuji rose to his feet unsteadily, “let’s go back before the idiots break something…”

Shiemi panicked inwardly. “Wait, Ryuuji-kun!” She grabbed his hand. The blonde woman was mentally unprepared (she would probably _never_ feel prepared) and she really wished she’d have thought to bring a glass of water to help Ryuuji-kun sober up, but this was probably the only chance they had to be alone tonight.

“…Shiemi-san?” The tall young man was staring at her with unfocused eyes that were slowly turning sharper.

Shiemi scrunched her eyes shut.

_Here goes nothing!_

The green-eyed blonde dropped to one knee on a wet patch of green grass. “Suguro Ryuuji-kun!” She presented him the box she’d been clutching in her pocket the whole day. “W-would you m-ma-marry me?”

“H-ha!?” Ryuuji-kun exclaimed in shock.

Then nothing.

“I-I know I’m not twenty yet [3], s-so it won’t be until n-next year, b-but-” the longer the silence dragged, the more Shiemi felt the urge to ramble, her heart sinking deeper and deeper to the pit of her stomach as each second passed. _Please, please, please-_

“S-shiemi-san,” Ryuuji-kun’s voice came from the vicinity of her face, not several feet above. Shiemi mustered her courage to open her eyes.

Ryuuji-kun had kneeled in front of her, his face so red the rosy hues were visible under the moonlight and the fluorescent escaping through the gaps between the curtains. “Shiemi-san,” his expression was extremely serious as he touched her face with his fingers.

Shiemi stared at him, transfixed as the calluses on his palm from gripping his pistols tightly, rubbed against her cheeks. “…Are you sure…?” Ryuuji-kun’s whisper was softer than a breath.

Shiemi gave her soulmate her best, straightest gaze, and nodded steadfastly. “I’ve given this much thought…and talked to Rin,” she covered one of his hands with the hand not holding onto the box. “Love is a choice, Ryuuji-kun. And I choose, I pledge to love you, if you choose to have me.” She smiled, her eyes watery from how much effort it took her to reign her emotions for this man. She just…loved him so much. For letting her know herself better. _For being prepared to let her go_.

“Happy birthday, Ryuuji-kun.”

Ryuuji-kun’s face was so pinched he looked so _fierce_. Shiemi had seen enough to know this was the face the Kyoto-born made when he was about to cry. “Shiemi-san-” he brought their faces together and kissed her desperately.

Thankfully, their bond wasn’t strong enough consummation could be activated without the spells, but Shiemi could still feel an unbearable urge to press herself close to the broad-shouldered man, to tear apart any fabric obstructing her from his skin, to claw into his chest and slip underneath, so they couldn’t be separated anymore. The muggy heat of the summer clouded her head till she couldn’t think, dizzy with her feelings.

They probably would have proceeded to do something frisky, if somebody hadn’t cleared his throat obnoxiously loudly behind them.

Everyone from their Exorcist Cram School class were crowded around the opened sliding doors of the veranda and staring. Even Yuki-chan, cramped to the side behind Kamiki-san.

“Wah!” Shiemi wanted to hide in a hole. Now.

Shima-kun grinned brightly at the couple. “Congratulations, you love birds!”

“Hear! hear!” Rin whistled and gave them the thumbs up when Shiemi caught his eyes.

Shima-kun approached them. “But Bon, seriously, to be proposed to by a girl,” he shook his head as he slapped his friend on the back.

Bon sent him a death glare before turning to the blonde woman. “I-I’ll definitely propose to you, too!”

“You’ll still be late!” Shima continued teasing him.

“Ah, Bon, don’t!” Konekomaru exclaimed when the birthday boy lunged at the bubble-gum-blue-haired Knight-Tamer. “Renzou, you too, stop!”

Shiemi laughed at the sight before her.

She couldn’t be any happier.

* * *

 

52.

“Don’t buy anymore chocolates, Nii-san!” Yukio warned the excited young man who was tearing through the huge supermarket.

“I get it!” the lively young man hollered from a few aisles away.

Yukio sighed. Since Tsubaki-sensei and his wife moved to the apartment next door with their toddler kids (three of them, one year apart each? Yukio was thankful the walls were thick), Yukio often found himself saddled with babysitting or helping out at the kindergarten.

He’d wanted to refuse more than twice, but Nii-san always cut in. He loved the little monsters to bits.

It wasn’t that Yukio hated kids. They just…crawled all over his books and messed them up. Once, one of them even _ate_ a sheet of his research papers.

Kids were…a real handful.

Rin was completely at ease with them, though. He let them climb all over him and fed them cookie dough; they laughed when he threw them to the air and caught them back. The first time it happened, Yukio’s heart nearly stopped.

Rin had only laughed at him. _“Idiot Yukio, babies are hardy, you know. Before they are six months old, they won’t drown if you place them in a pool. I thought you’re the doctor!_ ”

“Where is he…” Yukio tapped his fingers on his watch as he waited next to the cashiers. “We’ll be late to the Christmas party at the kindergarten.” He reached for his mobile phone. _Was he stuck at the herbs counter again…?_

Before Yukio needed to press his speed dial ‘1’, his elder twin brother had entered his field of view…

With a boy sitting on his shoulders.

“Sshh, ssshhh,” Rin bounced the boy who was dribbling snot to his hair, “It’ll be okay,” he whispered reassuringly.

“Nii-san!” Yukio approached them. “What happened?”

“Ah, Yukio!” Rin looked so relieved to see him. “He’s lost! Help me search for his mom!”

They split ways, with Rin and the boy waiting at the information counter, while Yukio scoured through the wide store for a woman who looked harried (the boy’s descriptions were too…vague). After fifteen minutes, Rin waved at the little boy heartily as his small hand was safely held in his mother’s.

“Thank goodness, right, Yukio?” The shorter male smiled at him.

Yukio’s mind was solely on the time, however. “Come on, Nii-san, we need to dash!”

Half an hour’s fight against Tokyo’s public transport later, Yukio found himself swarmed by little kids trying to sneak a hand into the bag of sweets and toys he was carrying. The Santa costume was stuffy enough as it was. “N-nii-san!” he couldn’t help but turn to the _reason_ why they were there in the first place.

“Hey, hey, if you aren’t good, Santa won’t reward you!” Rin grinned and took the bag from Yukio’s hand, hefting it over his shoulder as he herded the children back to the centre of the classroom, seemingly effortless wading in too-big boots and speaking through a wad of fake white beard. “I’m going to read you a story, and whoever behave well and can answer the riddles can choose your present first!”

The toddlers immediately sat around the adult chair that had been set up for him, arranging themselves nicely.

“Thank you for your assistance,” one of the teachers said as Yukio watched Rin having fun reenacting ‘the Grinch’.

“Ah, no,” Yukio ducked his head. “We didn’t do much…”

“You’re too modest!” The cheerful young woman chuckled before the shrill laughter of the children riveted her attention. She smiled as Nii-san let three little girls hang on his arms. “He’s a natural, isn’t he? I bet he’ll make a good father!”

Yukio hid his eyes behind the glare of the lamp on his glasses.

“Yes, he will.”

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I’ve been listening to Guilty Crown’s OST non-stop as I wrote the last few chapters. They have the same composer as AnE’s, even the same singer Kobayashi-san. So the OSTs have similar feel. Guilty Crown’s generally sadder, though.  
> 2\. This is for you, Love_Psycho :)  
> 3\. No one under the age of 20 can marry without parental consent in Japan. Even with parental consent, there is a minimum age of 18 for males and 16 for females. Generally, 20 is the age of majority in Japan. Every twenty years old undergoes a ceremony called Seijin-shiki on the second Monday of January. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coming_of_Age_Day  
> Shiemi’s birthday is 6th March, but was never mentioned if she was younger or older than Rin (whose bday is 27 Dec). Since Japan’s academic year cut-off is 1 April (i.e. students born from 1 April 1994 to 31 March 1995 will generally be placed in the same academic year), I assume she’s younger.


	28. Chapter 28

_“From the time I’m born (until death)… I want to try living with you until we die,_  
 _But I can’t seem to write it out quite as the myth I’d like._  
 _Summers turn to summers (and connect), as we slip through the space between history and helix,_  
 _Falling to Hell, and pulling that trigger at the very end;_  
 _Becoming nothing but dust._

_Then winter will come… to cover everything in snow.  
Then when winter comes again… the snow will tell all._

Trigger, Yuuki Ozaki (from Galileo Galilei) [Zankyou no Terror OP]

* * *

 

53.

“Marry me.”

Time have stopped.

_No, no-_

“Ah…” Yukio stared at the gold ring nestled in the black box in front of his knees, refusing to see the hand holding it. The expression Nii-san had on his face. The expressions the attendants of the party had on their faces.

Everything but the ring blurred.

_No, no, no!_

(And eventually, the ring blurred, too.)

“You copycat!” That timber…was Suguro-kun.

“What’s wrong with copying; it was a brilliant idea!” That was Nii-san. There was a grin in his voice.

Time must have stopped, because after that, only silence remained.

Then:

“…Young teacher?”

”Yuki-chan?” Shiemi-san’s concerned gaze.

 “…wah, what a heavy atmosphere,” Shima-san’s whispered observation.

 “Ah…” Yukio panicked as his field of view began to include everyone’s face again. Everyone’s eyes, staring at him, waiting expectantly.

_How can I delay my answer without ruining the birthday party, how can I escape-_

“Yukio…?” happiness began to slip out of Nii-san’s blue eyes.

His hand slipped into his pocket, typing a message by muscle memory to speed dial ‘4’.

‘Csll me mow’

As if on cue, the phone rang.

Yukio picked it up. His savior. “Okumura here.”

“ _Yukio-chan?_ ” Yuuko-san’s tinny voice emerged from the receiver. She sounded alarmed. “ _What’s_ -”

“Understood,” Yukio interrupted before the rest of the room could catch his bluff. “I’ll come right away.”

“To my place,” Yuuko-san said before he could put down the phone.

The relieved breath that was halfway in his throat was trapped.

( _He could just ignore her._

 _Couldn’t he?_ )

Regardless, Yukio steeled himself and showed the rest his mask of a smile, firmly in place. “It’s an emergency,” he told them as he walked over to the drawer where he kept his guns and the magazines.

“Eh? I’ll go with you!” As expected, Nii-san would want to come along.

“I alone is enough!” Yukio made sure he was out of the door before Nii-san could reach Kurikara. He pulled out the key that would lead him to Aizuwakamatsu. “Don’t wait for me! Please continue to enjoy the party!” He shot them one more smile before closing the furniture behind them…

And exhaled to the darkness of the woods.

_He was safe._

* * *

54.

Nobody moved. Everyone seemed stunned.

“Yukio!” Rin wrenched the front door open, only to find nobody. The hallway outside the apartment was empty.

“…he used a dimensional key,” Konekomaru mentioned quietly.

“The moley four eyes!” Rin cursed, and punched the door, denting the metal.

_Why? Why didn’t he-_

“Rin, you’re so stupid!” Shiemi huffed and crossed her arms.

Shima sighed and shook his head at him. “Totally.”

“Hah?” Rin didn’t understand why they were blaming him. “You also proposed to the Princess on his twentieth birthday-”

“Hey!” Suguro would never not raise his voice about the nickname.

“Not in front of everyone!” Shiemi put her foot down. She placed her hands on her waist and yelled, “What on earth were you thinking, Rin!? Did you intend to pressurize Yuki-chan into saying yes, so he wouldn’t have to ruin the mood?”

(‘It’s ruined anyway,’ Shima-kun whispered.

‘Shhh!’ That was Konekomaru, bless him.)

“Ah,” Rin’s eyes widened in shock. Like the thought of Yuki-chan not saying yes never crossed his mind before.

Shiemi sighed. She knew it.

She couldn’t stay angry at the demon very long, however, as the blue-eyed, messy-haired young man slumped to the floor. “B-but, we’re bonded, y’know? We’re connected forever, y’know? What’s marriage compared to that!?” he protested to the whole room while on his knees.

Shiemi couldn’t answer. She hadn’t been bonded or married, after all.

The room fell into silence.

“Uh, Okumura-kun,” Konekomaru was the first to speak.

“Rin!” he was glared at immediately, “You call the moley by his given name, don’t you?”

“…Rin-kun, then,” the bald Aria proceeded, “bonds are till death…but they could stretch thinner with time, you see.”

Rin looked at the shorter male without comprehension in his gaze. “What are you trying to say?”

Konekomaru tried again. “Despite the fact that the number of bonding has been reported to increase in the past decade, the number of divorces has also increased.”

Rin’s frown deepened. He rose to his feet. “ _So_ what are you trying to say?”

Konekomaru’s face looked pinched. He must be trying very hard not to take a step back.

Ryuuji-kun sighed and pressed his palm to his face. “Strings of fate are things you’re born with and can’t change…like who your parents or siblings are. But it’s you who decide what to make of it.  A bond doesn’t guarantee a relationship.”

A lesson Shiemi had realized, herself.

Rin bent down his head.

Shima-kun raised his hands in a conciliatory manner. “Now, now, Okumura-kun…”

Satan’s half human son glared at the blue-haired Tamer. “That kind of thing-!” he bared his teeth and growled, but the fire in his eyes manifesting into blue flames. “Why-!”

“Oi,” Ryuuji-kun gave the blue-eyed male a level stare, “you love the young teacher no matter what?”

 Rin clenched his fists. “Of course! If not, I wouldn’t have-”

“Enough to forgo the dream of having children of your own?” Kamiki-san interrupted.

Shiemi looked away, and observed Konekomaru throwing his gaze as well. Anybody could tell how much Rin loved kids.

“Wha-” The blue flames wavered. His anger simmered. “…I never even hoped I could have my own kids. I mean, I’m Satan’s son, am I not?”

 _So unfair_.

Shima-kun’s face broke to a slow grin. “Then go trace your string and screw the young ‘cher till he knows how loved he is!”

“You perve-!” Kamiki-san blushed.

“Shima-kun!” Shiemi raised her voice, aghast. Her face was turning bright red too. “NO! No, absolutely not! Rin, Yuki-chan has to be convinced by logic! You have to make him understand that _he_ is the best for you!”

Rin looked surprised. “How did you…?”

“No time to waste!” She pushed him out of the door.

 _Yuki-chan_ , Shiemi wished as she watched Rin ran across the carpark several storeys below, _please open your eyes._

TBC

Yes, Yukio thinks too much. Do forgive the guy, please. Don't hate him so much.

Review please!


	29. Chapter 29

_“And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened.”_

_Life After God_ , written by Douglas Coupland

* * *

 

54.

Yuuko-san entered his view after he took a few steps on the white, snow-filled grounds.

“Happy birthday, Yukio-chan,” she smiled at him from below the thick muffler that buried her pink cheeks.

Yukio smiled weakly at her. “Thank you.”

The petite woman shrugged and led him to the veranda of her little hut in the depth of Mount Kanayama, where two flasks of sake were heated. “I know you’ve accidentally had some in staff parties [1]…but now that you’re twenty, we should still celebrate that you can drink legally, now!” She grinned at him.

Yukio planted his butt on the second cushion without invitation, and simply stared at dark, still waters of Lake Inawashiro, not too far away. His breath fogged as he exhaled.

“No, thank you,” he felt a lot better already, without them.

(Besides, he didn’t like to lose control.

Mindless adventures, indeed.)

Yuuko-san continued standing, her eyes locked on the waters Yukio was blankly looking at, as well.

“What happened?”

Yukio turned sharply. It…was rare for his mentor figure to ask him anything. She had preferred to wait till, or if, he decided to share anything to her.

He must have looked horrible.

Silence passed without answers.

It was cold, blissfully cold. Like his brains would freeze.

Yuuko-san hummed. “It was snowing, just now. Luckily, it's stopped,” she commented absently. Then. “Since you’re fully geared, why don't we have a practice, Yukio-chan?”

“Huh?” Yukio could never follow what she was thinking.

She grinned at him again. “You need to look suitably haggard after handling a demonic emergency,” she winked at him as she unwounded her scarf and retrieved two pistols from inside the sleeves of her woolen _haori_. “You have three seconds.” Her irises turned gold as she spoke.

Yukio inhaled sharply and bolted.

* * *

 

55.

“Crap, crap, crap, I’m late!” Rin dashed down the corridors with his shirt unbuttoned, preparing to yell at his brother for not waking him up the moment he entered the dining hall – a morning routine – only to find the place empty.

‘ _He left early again, today?_ ’ Rin wondered as he shoved a loaf of bread into his mouth and opened the refrigerator to grab the packed lunch he’d prepared yesterday.

Yukio’s portion sat next to Rin’s, untouched.

Rin frowned. ‘ _He didn’t go home again?_ ’

There wasn’t time to pass the packed food to the overworking moley four-eyes in the morning, so as soon as the bell signaling lunch break rang, Rin told Godain-kun, “Gotta pass a bentou to Yukio!” And dashed away before his friend could say hi back.

“Yo,” Suguro noticed him peering into the special advancement programme’s second-years’ classroom.

“Suguro!” Rin barged into the room and approached the monk’s son. The rest of the students in the class were used to seeing him. Yukio sparked an uproar the moment he returned to school after several weeks’ hospitalization leave with a bonding ring on his little finger. That week, the number of girls who looked around suspiciously with murderous expressions reached an alarming level it wasn’t even funny. Eventually, Mephisto ordered Rin and Yukio to submit to an interview on their bond by the broadcasting club. [1]

Thankfully, Rin had never found himself attacked by any of Yukio’s rabid fangirls. If anything, they seemed to treat him with more pitiful pats, and occasional whispers of, ‘If you ever separate...’

Ah, remembering it made Rin irritated.

“The young teacher left to deliver a stack of worksheets to the staffroom,” the Kyoto-born pulled Rin out of that horrible memory, back to the present. “Any message you want me to pass to him…?” the teen with the blonde cockscomb offered.

The staffroom…was in the same direction with the co-op store. “Ah, never mind. I’ll go after him. Thanks, Suguro!” Rin left without waiting for his friend’s reply, again.

Rin missed him in the staffroom, but as he ran to the co-op store, he glanced down the window and spotted the person he was looking for.

Rin raised his hand and was about to holler. “Yu-”

A petite long-haired girl walked up to the bespectacled valedictorian, her head bowed down. She was blushing real bad and clutching a box wrapped in blue cloth behind her back.

This…was a scene Rin was all too used to seeing.  

A few girls chuckled from the next window sill. “Ah, she must be a first year…” one of them said mockingly.

“So oblivious,” the other replied her.

‘ _Ignore them. They aren’t hurting anyone,_ ’ Rin slid his eyes back down, just in time to see Yukio pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his left hand and let it linger for several seconds too long, before pressing his fingers against his fringe to push his hair out of his face and held them there.

This trick, too, Rin had noticed.

The girl must have finally noticed the ring, because her demeanor changed. She stepped back, her shoulders slumped.

Rin…never had to worry. Yukio always protected himself against advances, like this.

(Come to think of it, he had always avoided advances…from before they were bonded. Before Rin was aware of the string that connected them.)

“Oi, Yukio!” Rin jumped over the window, and landed one storey below.

The four-eyes, as well as several students around them, were stunned.

“Nii-san! What were you thinking? Your ankles-”

Rin let the lecture fly over his head. “Your lunch!” he shoved it at the taller male. “Why didn’t you go home yesterday, huh!” He steered them to one of the benches on the park as they continued to bicker.

Rin sensed one pair of eyes staring at them longer than the rest. He turned around, and met the gaze of the girl he was watching just now.

Her gaze was zeroed in on Rin’s left hand on the small of Yukio’s back.

Rin grinned at her, and let his hand inch slightly lower.

‘ _Yes, mine._ ’

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Yes, these are a reference to ‘Salaryman Exorcist: the woes of Okumura Yukio’.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long absence. I was working on a personal project (well, other than writing fanfiction), translating a RinxYukio doujin! Hohoho.
> 
> Here it is, if you're interested: http://aria-dc-al-fine.livejournal.com/21018.html
> 
> Enjoy~

_Just to hold you, why do my hands,_  
 _Start to hurt you?_  
 _Even the words I learned, stab into you like a knife,_  
 _Cutting away your life_

Nisoku Hosou, produced by DECO*27 (sung by Hatsune Miku)

* * *

 

56.

The reverse didn’t happen, though.

“Okumura-kun!”

Rin paused his conversation with Konekomaru and looked up.

It was a sempai from the True Cross Order Tokyo branch. She was a knight, like him. Eh…her name was…

“What’s up, Nagai-san?” Konekomaru greeted her. God bless him!

“Eh…” the brunette peered up at Rin from the curtain of her bangs. “O-okumura-kun,” her voice was so soft Rin nearly couldn’t hear her. “Y-you are the one who cooked the bentou for last week’s Hanami excursion, right?” [1]

“Yeah!” Rin grinned. It was a tradition to welcome the new batch of exorcists with Hanami, since the exorcist authorization exams always fell in late February and March [2]. “The Sakura was so pretty, wasn’t it?”

“Y-yes!” The slender woman only seemed startled and more withdrawn, hiding her face under her curly hair even. “U-um, Okumura-kun,” she paused and inhaled, her hands clapped above her head, “could you please teach me how to cook?” the question was rushed out in a single breath.

Rin’s wariness fell apart right away. He loved bonding with others through cooking. “Sure!” He leaned forward and encased her clasped hands.

Konekomaru blanched. “O-okumura-kun!”

“Hm?” Rin tilted his head in puzzlement. “By the way, Nagai-san, when shall we start?”

His sempai appeared like she was this close to bolting out of the door. Rin appreciated that she overcame her fear and made the effort to offer him friendship. “Eh? Uhh…um…!”

Someone cleared his throat from the doorway.

“Yu-Yukio-kun!” Konekomaru froze, his voice stiff. He was normally friendlier with the moley four-eyes. Did they have an argument? It was unlike them…

“Konekomaru-san,” Yukio’s voice was even, an amiable smile on his face. “Did you see Yunokawa-sensei around here?”

The bald-headed Aria shook his head.

“I see,” Yukio turned around.

That four-eyes…he didn’t even acknowledge him! Ah, Rin needed to catch up to the moley so they could walk home together. Gotta finish his business here… “Nagai-san, is next Tuesday okay? Shall I give you my mail address so we could arrange the time later?” He handed her his cellphone.

Konekomaru jumped out of his skin. “O-okumura-kun!” he hissed.

Rin didn’t get why the shorter male was so anxious.

Rin tapped his fingers impatiently behind his back as the sempai took _ages_ to type her contacts in. He snatched the device as soon as she said, “I’m done.”

“Okay, will mail you later! Sorry, gotta go!” Rin _ran_ after the idiot four eyes.

And caught sight with him two corridors down (damn his long legs!).

Rin pouted at him. “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

“Ah, didn’t I mention?” Yukio shot him an apologetic look. “I have a mission briefing in ten minutes.”

“Oh,” Rin hid his disappointment. Another dinner alone. Well, Kuro would be there. “Okay, see you home later,” he waved at his workaholic younger brother.

It wasn’t until months later, Rin realized something was amiss.

“Oi,” Suguro knocked on his cubicle on an uneventful day, after Rin returned from his boring consultation desk shift. “Lunch?”

“Sure!” Rin leaned back on his chair to peer at his neighbouring cubicles.

“Koneko and the eyebrows are out, and Shiemi-san’s on clinic duty,” the Kyoto-born remarked, “only two of us are here today.”

“Ah, I envy them,” Rin grabbed his bentou off the table when he jumped to his feet and grumbled. “Consultation desk shifts are a pain!”

“I hear ya’,” Suguro replied. He sounded rather…absent.

The meal proceeded in a similar fashion – Suguro stating some noncommittal comments, while Rin prattled on and on. Yet, the taller male with six piercings on his ear was staring intensely at him. It made the half-demon rather confused.

“So I told Nagai-san-”

“Oi,” Suguro interrupted abruptly. It seemed he had finally decided to speak. Rin knew he could always count on the Kyoto-born for his honest opinions. “You don’t think you’re too close to her?”

Rin blinked. “Who, Nagai-san?” They were seriously talking about her?

Suguro gave a quick, terse nod.

Rin shrugged. “She’s just learning how to cook from me. She’s a nice girl! Shy, but she helped me get along with the other knights in the Order-”

“I’m asking if you think it’s appropriate to be so close to another girl!” Suguro looked angry. “Considering you’re a bonded man!”

Rin still didn’t understand. “…I’m close to Shiemi and Izumo. I’m close to you, Shima, Konekomaru, and Godaiin-kun, too. I mean, Yukio is a guy, right? Does it mean I’m not supposed to be close to guys?”

Suguro smacked his face with his palm. “You seriously haven’t noticed that Nagai-san has a crush on you?”

Rin’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

Suddenly, he was reminded of the girls who kept on coming to Yukio, despite the fact that their bond had been made public.

Rin wanted to hide in a hole, somewhere.

“Aauugh!” He put down his bentou and clutched his head. “Does Yukio know?”

Suguro sighed. “The young teacher may be thick and unable to sense other’s feelings at times, but yes, he’s noticed.”

Crap, crap, crap! “Why didn’t he tell me!?” Rin moaned.

_Did he not care?_

“You airhead,” Suguro shook his head. “You can imagine him casually mention to you, ‘by the way, are you cheating on me?’ That’s impossible.”

“Indeed…” Rin bowed his head and heaved a deep, deep sigh. “Thanks for blabbing, man.”

Suguro crumpled his emptied paper bag. “Anytime.”

* * *

 

57.

“Ah!”

Shura looked up to find the petite woman in a lab coat walking in her direction from the opposite end of the corridor.

Then that foxy woman slipped away.

“Stop right there!” This is the first time their position was reversed. Shura had always been the one to flee when she spotted Takani Yuuko. “Don’t you dare-” she launched herself at the smaller woman and pinned her to the floor by sitting on her back.

“Oof!” Shura smirked in satisfaction when the breath was knocked out of Yuuko’s lungs. “S-shura-chan,” she dared to flash her a silly smile!? “Good morning! How is your hangover?”

The bitch was purposely shouting to her ears. Shura glared at her. “Ye owe me explanations,” she grabbed the fox’s arms and twisted them behind her back. “Not gonna let go!” Thankfully, it was too early for lessons, and most of the exorcists were busy working. The hallways of the cram school were pretty deserted.

Yuuko sighed. “So?” she lied down on the floor more comfortably.

But Shura wouldn’t let her guard down. “Did ya deliberately seduce me to draw out that guy?” She narrowed her eyes.

“Shura-chan, don’t give too little credit to your hot body!” Yuuko somehow still managed to grope her thigh.

Shura was really, really tempted to break the fox’s wrist. “Answer!” she ordered and exerted pressure on her captive’s flesh, feeling the bone under her skin.

Of course, the fox never gave any outward indication of pain. “That was part of my intention, yes,” she admitted. Even without facing her, Shura knew there was a smirk on Yuuko’s face. “If I got to sleep with you, that’s a bonus, too.”

Shura’s brow twitched. She steeled herself before she asked her next question. “Why did ya bond with the Matchmaker?” She hated the creepy guy’s guts, but he wasn’t _just_ a wizard. From that tail he flashed her (what a perve! That's how they fit!), Shura was sure he was at least part-demon.

“Tut, tut, Shura-chan.” Yuuko turned her head. The gleam in her golden irises was downright _dangerous_. It reminded Shura that she was holding on to a beast. “That information is costly...will you be able to pay it?” The wide curve of her lips was almost feral.

Shura didn’t show any fear. She knew enough not to. “Yew used me as a bait,” she recapped.

“That’s not enough,” Yuuko pouted, and in a blink of an eye, twisted her body, slipping her hands out of Shura’s grasp. Shura didn’t hold on too tight, because none of them wanted this to be as bloody as it could get, she was sure. “Would you consider paying by credit?” The fox leaned forward and invaded Shura’s personal space.

Typical of her.

Shura kept her eyes on the Bai Ze’s face for a moment, before she sighed. No point getting herself indebted for knowledge that might be completely trivial for her. “Never mind.”

This time, it was Yuuko who curled her fingers around Shura’s wrist to prevent the knight from leaving.

“Whatever that guy may say,” Shura couldn’t see her expression as she spoke, shadowed by the long tresses covering her face. “Always remember a bond goes two ways, Shura-chan.”

And with that advice…they were even again.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanami  
> 2\. The manga only said the exorcist exams are 3 months away from the School festival arc, and school festivals in Japan tend to be held in autumn or early November. Anyways, having a Feb exam would make it coincide with the Japanese academic calendar, which fits the ‘school’ setting.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I NEED TO STOP BUYING DOUJINSHI!!
> 
> Oh, Western fandom, why do you love doujins containing nympho-uke!Rin and I-top-the-hell-outta-Nii-san!Yukio so much? I was ignorantly disillusioned to think the Japanese fandom also reflects the same trend, only to find there are quite a few RinYukio GEMS. Don’t be mistaken; there are lots of stereotypical blushing-uke!Yukio too, but generally the doujins are more fluffy. I can’t stop myself from making grabby hands at them! I’ve bought like 10 doujinshis already! Oh, my poor wallet…

_In this overly quiet night,_  
 _Alone I try to grasp what I want by reaching out my hands,_  
 _Yet all I see is loneliness._  
 _I hide those longings that I wish to tell,_  
 _And move forward, one step after another._

Dedicate, Fukuyama Jun (Okumura Yukio Character Song)

* * *

 

58.

Rin really, really could not understand Yukio sometimes.

* * *

 

59.

“Hey, cutie-pie.”

Rin looked up when shadows fell on the screen of his cell phone.

A tall, broad-shouldered punk was smirking at him. “Wanna hang out?”

“Hah?” Rin was immediately irritated. Just because he was of slight build and stuck at 173 cm… The punk’s face reminded him of a guy who was possessed by a demon, once. The annoying guy he’d beaten to a pulp…for shooting at pigeons. What’s his name? Shira…sumthin’

“Don’t be so unfriendly,” the guy dared to invade Rin’s personal space and placed his arm on the wall above the half-demon. “I promise you a good time,” his smooth voice dropped lower.

As if that was supposed to do anything to Rin.

A vein pulsed on his temple. “You piece of shit-”

“Rin!” That was Yukio’s voice. But the name he’d called him with…

“He-eh!” the hulking mass of idiot turned around, and Rin caught a glimpse of his tall younger brother from the gap between his tormentor’s arm and torso.

Rin…had never seen an expression that chilly on Yukio’s face.

( _Like his eyes were made of ice._ )

“I saw him first,” the goon snarled and flexed his biceps.

Yukio didn’t react. He kept the human at the end of his scary gaze before slipping through his wide, amateurish stance, and wrapping his fingers around Rin’s.

“He’s my bondmate,” Yukio raised their linked left hands to show off the matching rings and challenged the punk with a bold, hardened gaze. “Back off.”

The harasser seemed taken aback for a moment, before he crowded in on Rin and Yukio. “You’re brothers. I can tell, your pretty faces resemble each other…” he reached out a finger to touch Yukio’s cheek.

Rin growled, and smacked the punk’s filthy hand. “You dog, don’t touch-”

Immediately, the punk took out a knife from his pocket. “You’ll pay for the insult!” He lunged.

And froze.

Yukio had the barrel of his gun pressed against his abdomen.

“Leave us alone,” he hissed, his whisper soft as a wind, the threat unyielding as steel.

Their attacker faltered, but pressed on with false bravado. “Only the police is licensed to carry guns. Yours is fake!”

Yukio only narrowed his cold eyes. “Try me.”

Needless to say, the idiot guy lost the stare down and fled.

Yukio sighed. “I’m sorry for making you wait in a sleazy part of town, Nii-san.”

Rin only smiled. “S’kay. So, the mission?”

He couldn’t help but feel happy because Yukio hadn’t let go of his hand.

( _But why is this situation different?_ )

* * *

 

60.

The wind howled against the leathery wings on his back.

“You’re too slow!” The beast Yukio couldn’t superimpose with the level-headed, mature figure of his mentor shot at the scant space his leg was half a second ago, before he twist and flew upward, further and further. Yuuko-san didn’t give him any chance to hide in the woods at all. Not that his chance of winning against her became any higher if this was a battle of guerrilla attacks and strategies.

‘ _Anyone who sees us would think he was hallucinating_ ,’ the thought came unbidden in Yukio’s mind.

He sent two bullets in her direction, but she’d left her perch on the tall old tree and launched herself at him, the four horns on her spine and long, bushy tail of the ‘White Marsh’ supplying the magic to stay afloat.

“More!” Chunks of the frozen earth broke off the ground and were flung at him at an unbelievable speed.

Yukio scrambled to draw more power from the ‘core’ within him, his reluctantly used demon heart, to slip through the space between the boulders. As he tore through the atmosphere sharply, his heart began to soar. A scream felt like it was bubbling out of his throat, begging to be let free. His head felt light.

‘ _No!_ ’ Yukio stopped himself before the blue flames could dominate him. He could already sense alarm from the other end of his connection, no doubt from Rin noticing how much power Yukio was burning up. ‘ _Nii-san would be affected!’_

That instant of hesitation was Yukio’s downfall. Before he knew it three needles were embedded in his thighs, piercing through the thick wool of his trousers.

“Ah…” his sight blurred, and his wings twitched, causing him to drop a few inches before he could regain his bearings again. Everything felt so…shaky. Like he was swimming in water, instead of hovering in the air.

“Did I tell you?” Yuuko-san tilted her head at him from a few feet away, her lips curved in a wide, wide smirk. “Each of those tranquilizer darts contains enough alcohol to make you feel like you’ve downed a shot of rum. The 40% kind.”

Yukio’s eyes widened.

_Damn!_

“You can’t be in a defensive position forever, Yukio-chan,” Yuuko-san sang in a mocking tune.

Then, he couldn’t remember much.

* * *

 

61.

Rin was making his way northeast with all his might until he realized how futile the exercise was when he reached central Tokyo.

He only knew the general direction of his bondmate from the string, but he had no idea if he should board the Tohoku shinkansen, or a bus to…what’s a city in northeast? Akita? Nagoya? Sapporo?

There were too many possibilities. And he wasn’t _that_ stupid to think he could run across Japan, all the way to Hokkaido.

He needed help.

“Oi,” Rin barked at the phone the moment Shura picked up, “do you know where Yukio is?”

“…hi to yew too, rude boy,” he could hear the vermillion-haired woman clucking her tongue at him. “What happened to _Bibiri_?”

Rin gritted his teeth. “Don’t answer a question with a question!”

“Wait!” Shura suddenly sounded alert. “Isn’t today yer birthday? And the scaredy went missing?”

Just as Rin was about to answer, he felt Yukio's flames spiking. It took him almost his all to not release his flame in the middle of a busy road. He couldn't help but panic. Ah, they were wasting more time! “Just tell me if you know or not!” he couldn’t even bother to make up an excuse.

“…Idiot couple,” Shura murmured.

Rin couldn’t help but agree. Just as he was about to hurry her, Shura sighed. “Try Aizuwakamatsu.”

“Ai…wagamama?” [1]

“That, you are,” Shura snickered. “But no. A city next to Lake Inawashiro, in Fukushima prefecture,” her words were proper and unabbreviated. She was serious. “That’s where the fox…Takani Yuuko lives.”

Rin’s heart skipped a beat.

(So he’d left…for her, after all

Then...he was in good hands...)

“Don’t yew stone, fool,” the knight’s voice didn’t sound like it came from the transmitter. A fist knocked Rin’s shoulder gently.

Rin turned around, and found his handler, his teacher, his friend, in the flesh.

He gaped. “S-shura!”

“-San!” [2] The curvaceous fighter growled. “Here,” she handed him a key. “Go get _Bibiri._ And while you’re there…go learn something about him from the fox.” The second half of the sentence was spoken somberly.

Rin flinched and glared at her reflexively. He’d lived with the moley four eyes for twenty years! Why would someone who was only there for a while-

“Don’t be stubborn!” Shura smacked both his cheeks with her palms, causing the skin, already pink from the cold, to redden further. “Yer blind spot can be gigantic!”

Rin hung his head. It felt like, in the span of such a short time, his emotions had skipped erratically from hopeful to dejected to panic and anger and desperation again...

He was tired.

“It’ll be okay,” Shura tapped him on his chin and smiled, her expression unexpectedly soft. “You’ll be fine.”

Rin hang on to the metal with dear life. “You don’t have to tell me.”

Time to break some walls.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Rin always mismatch verbal expressions in canon, like "I'm a mistake" instead of "I'm mysterious" or "Peel your eyes" instead of "Keep your eyes peeled". This time, wagamama means selfish, so he was essentially saying "I (am) selfish."  
> 2\. Shura was always trying to get Rin to address her "Shura-san", i.e. more respectfully.


	32. Chapter 32

_“Is it not true that no two human beings understand anything whatsoever about each other, that those who consider themselves bosom friends may be utterly mistaken about their fellow and, failing to realize this sad truth throughout a lifetime, weep when they read in the newspapers about his death?”_

人間失格[No Longer Human], Osamu Dasai 

* * *

 

62.

Rin stepped straight into a battlefield once he was out of the door.

Literally.

A shadow jumped over his head with a taunting laugh, and before he could blink, two wind blades passed by him, missing his hair by mere inches.

“Is that all you can do, Yukio-chan?” A creature Rin didn’t recognize shouted in a familiar high-pitched voice. A woman with long beige manes and three yellow eyes on an elongated face, two horns sticking out of her temple, was hovering way above him. Fangs, pointy ears, bushy tails…

_A demon!?_

“Shaddup!!” Another familiar voice, saying words he wouldn’t dream of hearing. “I’ll make you learn your place, hag!”

Rin turned. And gaped at the sky.

He wouldn’t have recognized his brother without the coat and the frame of his glasses. All of his teeth had turned sharp, and his fingers had lengthened to claws. His pupils were bright red, his irises no longer round. His tail – a thin, airy appendage with a narrow-tipped of blue flame at the end (opposed to the head-sized fireball Rin had), was waving brazenly in the open, something Rin had _never_ seen before.

(Ah, no, that wasn’t true, was it? Rin had seen Yukio’s demon, bared to the world for all to see, once. Just after they bonded.)

The female demon only laughed again. “Catch me first, boy!”

Yukio growled before he lunged at her, guns firing well-aimed shots after shots at his target.

All of them were thwarted by a single wave of the opponent’s hand, flinging boulders of earth at the four eyes until he plummeted to the ground meters away.

“Yukio!” Rin let the blue flames that had been building up in the bond between them flood into his body. He snarled in the she-devil’s direction. “You-”

“ _Hai, hai_ ,” before he could even unsheathe Kurikara, a bubble had appeared around Rin, completely surrounding him. “Older brother, please stay out of this one first,” the horned creature pasted a slip of charmed paper on the bubble and winked.

“What the heck!?” How did she even know he was here? The pine trees covered everything! Rin tried to slash at his prison, but it didn’t budge. “OI!” The walls of the bubble looked opaque, and glimmered with rainbow coloured sparks. Could it be Rin couldn’t be seen from outside?

Yukio appeared above the trees again, royally pissed. It didn’t seem like he’d noticed Rin was there. “You’ll pay!”

He fought like Rin had never seen before, too, flitting in and out of sight, setting up and falling into traps. He used the flames like he wasn’t afraid they would take over him.

And...

( _If this is what Yukio sees and feels every time Rin fights this way…no wonder he’s berated Rin so much._ )

The four-eye’s flames weakened not long after. He wavered in the air, before careening head first to the ground.

“Yuki-” Unexpectedly, the female demon caught Rin’s bondmate. The two landed near where he was held captive, and Rin did a double take when he realized Yukio was leaning on the she-devil.

“S-so stupid!” The moley shouted to her kimono. His cheeks were red, and his eyes looked glazed over.

Rin blinked. _Was he…drunk?_

Ah…that would explain it. Yukio was a weak drinker.

“ _Hai, hai_ ,” the three-eyed demon patted Yukio’s head, and slowly her features turned to that of a human, the familiar long hair and small face of Takani Yuuko.

 “What does he want!?” Yukio continued to rant as he forced himself to stand on his feet. He stumbled and swung unsteadily like a pendulum. “In that kind of situation, it was…so unfair…”

Rin’s gaze slid to the side. _He must be talking about me…_

“Hmm…” Yuuko grabbed her charge’s shoulder and lowered him till his head was lying on her shoulder. “But…what do you want, Yukio-chan?”

Yukio looked up at her. “…What I…want?”

They didn’t say anything for a while, just sharing a moment, before tears leaked out of Yukio’s eyes.

“Eh?” The moley raised his hand to wipe his eyes. “…I-I don’t under-”

“Shhh,” Yuuko plucked his glasses off and pressed his face to her collarbone. “Just let it out,” she whispered soothingly, hypnotically, as she carded her fingers through his hair

Rin fixed his stare on his hands as the quiet of Yukio’s sobs tore his heart. Anywhere else would just add to his pain.

He didn’t know how long had passed until he was engulfed in complete silence. Suddenly, the bubble around him disintegrated under his fingers, and the cold rushed in, filling the hollows in his bone.

“Help me carry him inside,” Yuuko ordered him with Yukio’s head on her lap, the tall young man’s chest rising and falling slowly in sleep.

“Since it’s your birthday…let me give you a present.” She smiled sadly at him.

“Let me tell you what you don’t know about your brother.”

* * *

 

63.

_It’d been two hours._

_The boy she was babysitting kept firing at the balls the batting machine hurled at him. Yuuko was sure by now his soft palms must be tender from how tightly he had to maintain his grip on the pistol designed for adults. “Damn!” He missed one of the balls, and it hit him on the shoulder._

_Yuuko sighed. “Let’s go home.” She’d cleared her advance mode long ago, and Shiro would scold her if he found out she’d let his foster son run himself haggard._

_Yet, from his hardened gaze, Yukio didn’t seem like he was going to quit. “No,” he answered her predictably and raised his arms. Yuuko could see that they were shaking from exhaustion. “There’s still time till dinner.”_

_Ah, dinner. The deadline thereafter, this boy blatantly put on a charade for his older brother along with the Middle and Lower classes exorcists in that playhouse of the Paladin._

_Yuuko shrugged and watched this boy struggle for a little longer until she couldn’t stop the question from spilling out of her lips. “Why?”_

_At first, she thought he didn’t hear him, but he eventually replied, “Why what?”_

_“Not everyone who sustained a masyou ends up becoming an exorcist,” she leaned on the bench as she spoke, her eyes on the ceiling._

_The bespectacled boy narrowed his eyes, his face full of hate. Yuuko had ever only seen this kind of expression on a child…over a century ago, where fifteen was considered the age of adulthood, and prepubescent boys spilled blood in battlefields._

_“I can’t!” he said forcefully as he fired a bullet, “I can’t remain weak and in need of protection all my life!”_

_Yuuko kept her eyes on him to steer away from memories of muddy-brown wars. “You have time. Why so desperate?”_

_Yukio-chan bit his lower lip, and Yuuko had to dig her nails on her palm to keep herself from yelling at him. Yell at me, she thought, ask me if I’m stupid._

_You are eight years old, goddammit._

_“We don’t know when the seal may be broken,” still, that calm, disguising voice. “I can’t rely on Nagamoto-san, Maruta-san, Kyodo-san, Izumi-san…and Oyaji forever.”_

_Nee, Yukio-chan, Yuuko pondered, what had Shiro forgot to say to you?_

_(Your shoulders are far too thin to carry your expectations.)_

* * *

 

64.

“Here.”

Rin accepted the cup hesitantly. “Thank you,” he said stiffly.

There he was, seated at the verandah of the home of the one woman his beloved had chosen to spill his heart to just moments ago. The thought burned.

“He’ll be knocked out till noon tomorrow,” Yuuko said absently as she sipped her sake when Rin couldn’t stop turning around to steal a glance at the figure nestled comfortably in the futon. “He probably hasn’t let himself lose control…for years.”

Bitterness filled Rin, till tears, too, pricked his eyes. An urge to scream fill his chest…yet he had no one else to blame but himself.

“I proposed to him before he came to you.” Rin finished his sake in one gulp before he laughed sardonically. “Should I just let him go? He loves you more! And...you know how to take care of him better than me.”

“That would be the _worst_ thing you could do to him,” Yuuko sighed. “And he loves me more, what a joke, Okumura Rin-kun…What made you think so?”

“He opens up to you!” Rin clenched his fists till they were white. “He’s never cried like that to me for ten years. Yet-”

“Because he doesn’t care about me, he can behave however he wants in front of me,” Yuuko interrupted, pinching the bridge of her nose. “…you are brothers, indeed…” she murmured under her breath.

“Huh?”

Yuuko put down her cup and ignored his puzzlement. “If you could describe Yukio in three words, what words would you use?”

Rin was irritated. He didn’t appreciate being tested. “Could you not-”

“Humour me,” the woman ordered, a steely edge in her tone.

Rin seethed, before he gave up. There was something about Yukio he’d never gotten right, after all, even with twenty years of togetherness under his belt. “Serious, reserved,” he paused before saying the last adjective. It would be like a kettle calling the pot black. “Stubborn.”

Yuuko nodded. “You got the basics right.” She sounded amazed.

Rin was offended. “Of course, I do. He’s-”

“Been lying to you for years about his ability to see demons, learning to be an exorcist and sharing a string of fate with you,” she said, a little too sharply. “Lying to you comes easier to him, and I fault him for that sticking with that bad habit, but you too have a bad habit of neglecting to question your situation until the issues hidden hit you in the face and force you to make a decision. Forgive me if I doubted whether you know Yukio-chan well.”

Rin’s face burned with shame, but his blood boiled with anger. He didn’t willingly signed himself to be humiliated. “If you know him so well, then tell me! You said that’s your gift, right?”

Yuuko sighed again. “Indeed. Sorry for being sidetracked,” she shook her head as though to clear her mind. “Yukio-chan is actually a very simple individual. Way simpler than Shiro. One could say there are only three…no, four things that define him, three of which are his motivations for living.”

Rin slumped forward, dejected. He didn’t want to sound arrogant, but… “One of them is me.”

Yuuko bowed her head, too. “You’re…partially right. But before we get to that, let’s cover his other two motivations. The first is, of course, his thirst for knowledge. Yukio-chan has a natural drive to understand how the world works, why things come into being, how to make things better. He’s the kind who can spend months chasing truths, and the more he chases, the more he alienates himself. I think you have experienced this firsthand.” She looked at him for confirmation.

Rin nodded and brooded. His first school festival at True Cross Academy was one of the times he’d felt most disconnected to Yukio. The more he pried, the more he felt like the moley was slipping away, to a place Rin couldn’t reach.

Yuuko exhaled heavily. “The second is his sense of duty, to responsibilities bestowed by others, as well as rules and obligations he’s made his.”

Rin knew where this was going. “I’m…an obligation he’s undertook.”

The thought _hurt._

Yuuko burst into laughter. “I’m sorry, it’s just,” she remarked as Rin glared at her, “you’ve become a league of your own what you’ve said is inappropriate. You see, Yukio-chan would choose the fulfillment of his duties over human relationships, but **_you_** , your well-being and your happiness are _always_ at the top of his list. It would be more accurate to say that if he were to lose you, he’ll lose _all_ meaning in life.” 

Rin opened his mouth, but didn’t know what to say. If he were _that_ important to the moley, then… “Why did he always reject me?”

Yuuko closed her eyes and leaned on the pillar behind her. Suddenly, she looked so, so tired Rin didn’t want to hurry her.

“He’s a bad friend, isn’t he?”

The non-sequitur surprised Rin. “Hah?”

“He never asks for help and always relies on himself. What is he trying to prove, have you wondered…?” Yuuko paused. “Just now…you didn’t say ‘smart’ as one of the adjectives, did you?”

 _Another unrelated topic?_ Rin argued, “That’s…because you limited it to three words!”

She peered at him with one eye. “So you would have said it if I gave you five as a limit?”

“…That’s…” Rin thought hard...and nodded.

“You can’t be one of those people who think Yukio-chan is a genius, right?” Yuuko clucked her tongue. “You’re brothers…you’re made from the same sources of genetic materials.”

“Shaddup!” Rin hated hearing it, but he’d accepted it along the way. “Others always say we’re nothing alike!”

Yuuko shrugged. “Personality isn’t defined by genetics. Yukio is smart, but really, not that much smarter than an average man. He’s accomplished because he works _very_ hard. Like, three, four times harder than an average man.”

Rin didn’t need Yuuko to tell him this. He knew Yukio never seemed to have the time to sleep.

“His sense of duty gives him determination, but really…” Yuuko’s gaze turned unseeing. She was looking at the lake, but her mind seemed like it was trapped in the past, “Only a person who is grasping at straws could maintain that kind of desperation for years. Yukio-chan…he fundamentally believes he is inferior.”

Rin jumped to his feet.

“THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!”

Yuuko turned sharply, her eyes zeroing on Yukio’s face. Rin followed suit.

Fortunately, he was still dead to the world.

“I, I mean,” Rin continued softly, his arms moving frantically in wide, meaningless gestures. “He always acts like he knows what’s best, and he’s so bossy.”

Yuuko chuckled derisively. “After you told him no, did he do anything to force his will on you?”

Rin…shook his head.

“Yukio-chan has always been bothered that he was a weak toddler,” Yuuko refilled her sake and stared the transparent liquid as she twirled her cup. “On top of that, Yukio-chan had subconsciously thought that you did not accept him as your soulmate for fifteen years, since a touch and eye contact initiated your bond probably soon after you were born.”

Rin protested. “But I didn’t know!”

“I know, and he knew,” Yuuko shrugged, “but that didn’t stop the bond from affecting him mentally.”

Rin frowned. “If it’s all subconscious, wouldn’t I have been affected similarly?”

“May be,” the Upper First class finally consumed the sake she had been toying with, “sure, you’d probably felt inexplicably, sexually drawn to Yukio-chan for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, and you’d probably felt some bouts of inferior complex, but…you weren’t even aware you had a soulmate in the first place. My guess is…you had ignored the attraction, and thought the low self-esteem was because your brother was an honours student and you weren’t. In any case, in those fifteen years, you never had a reason to believe your soulmate did not want you.”

The words pierced through Rin’s heart, made him want to hug his idiot brother tight and never let go.

He dropped to his knees and pressed his palms to his face, fingers pushing hard against his chin and temple. “What should I do?” he asked her pleadingly.

Yuuko’s eyes searched for the other dragoon’s sleeping figure again. “You’ll wait…and tomorrow, you’ll talk.”

TBC

Review please!


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene came into being because of Yoru-san's comment for chapter 32. Thanks, Yoru-san! Before your comment, I always thought Yukio was more suitable as a bottom because being a top stresses him out. Afterward, I still feel that he can only lose himself in the act if he was a bottom, but the satisfaction of having made Rin feel good is unparalleled to him...and makes him a considerate but conventional top.

_“Compared to Rin and the others, Yukio may be more successful, but right now he’s a lot more unstable when it comes to his circumstances and his mental health. You could say Rin attracts ideals and fantasies; he comes right out and says things that most people couldn’t say, and he does things that most people couldn’t do. Meanwhile, Yukio is making sad comparisons that paint a reality where he can’t do what Rin does, and that’s a burden for him.”_

Kazue Kato’s commentary on Yukio, translated by [facets and rainbows]

* * *

 

65.

Nii-san was stripping him with his eyes.

Yukio could feel the heat in his gaze, the self-satisfied smirk.

Yukio couldn’t taste the omurice in his mouth. He was too distracted. “Nii-san, you look happy,” he said inanely, just to break the tension in the dining hall. Even Kuro had dragged his bowl away and ate elsewhere.

“Of course,” Rin flashed him a full-blown grin, showing Yukio two rows of white teeth and four sharp canines. “Don’t you feel good to finally declare our bond through the broadcasting club today? The look on everyone's face!” he laughed.

 _‘Well, it’ll help reduce the come-ons, for sure,’_ Yukio began to smile in reply…

Only to have his expression freeze when he feel the arc of a heel pressing to his groin.

Blood flooded his face. “N-nii-san!” The chair skidded as Yukio jerked backward.

“…don’t you want?” Nii-san leaned forward across the table and peered up at him with large, dark blue eyes that slanted upward on the sides like a cat’s. Attractive, smoldering eyes.

_He’s not playing fair!_

Yukio bent his head to hide his face. “…I…” Ugh, he was sure his ears were red. “…I…want,” his throat was so dry.

Wordlessly, Rin stood up and deposited himself on Yukio’s lap.

“Nii-” Before Yukio could protest, Nii-san had smashed their faces together and captured his mouth, licking and sucking and pressing his teeth on Yukio’s bottom lip like he didn’t need to breathe. Yukio could feel Nii-san’s dick rubbing against his stomach.

“Nii-san-” Yukio managed to wrench himself apart from the passionate kiss when Rin started unbuttoning his cardigan. “W-we’re still in the dining hall-”

“Only two of us live in this dorm,” Rin nuzzled his cheek before he licked the tapered tip of Yukio’s right ear. Yukio shuddered. “And everyone knows we’re bonded.”

“B-but-” Yukio tensed inadvertently. The dining hall was so wide and open. Anyone walking through the corridor could see them. There were no curtains on the glass windows either.

Nii-san exhaled against his ear, before he disentangled himself and rose to his feet. “Let’s go,” he grabbed Yukio’s wrist and pulled him upstairs to their room.

Articles of clothing fell to the floor one by one as soon as the door was closed, and Yukio couldn’t muster a glare to remind his brother than their shirts and trousers would be creased. Now that they were sexually active, Yukio couldn’t fathom how he could have survived his first two years of puberty by himself.

(Ah, but indulging in this too much would lead to an addiction…that’s not good.

 _What’s not good? Make his body addicted to yours. The more the better._ )

Yukio’s eyes widened. And narrowed, disgusted by his conscience.

Rin didn’t comment on his expression. “Yukio,” he licked a path up from a nipple to a collar bone and wrapped his warm fingers around Yukio’s cock. “Would you do me?”

Yukio blinked. “E-eh!?” And promptly panicked. “I-I don’t know how-”

Rin chuckled. “Just stick your dick in my hole. It’s simple.”

“Nii-san!” Sometimes, Yukio thought Nii-san enjoyed saying something crude just to see him fluster. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and exhaled deeply. “Why? Just do as we usually do,” he, too, encased Nii-san’s dick with his hand, reveling in the sharp gasp Nii-san produced in response. “You make me feel good, Nii-san,” he assured the older male, before he realized how selfish that sentence sounded and hesitated. “…do you not feel good?” May be a female partner was best, after all.

Rin shook his head. “I’ve just…never had someone fuck me. Since, I probably took your first…” he searched Yukio’s face for confirmation and Yukio nodded (he regretted that he couldn’t remember that experience much). “I want you to take my first as well!” Nii-san smiled earnestly.

Yukio’s heart jumped from the sight. At the same time, he felt a hundred times more nervous, now. “Nii-san, I don’t have any experience,” his voice was shaking.

“There’s a first time for everything,” Rin tried to convince him. “Come on, Yukio.”

There was silence as Yukio thought about his answer frantically, avoiding Nii-san’s hopeful gaze while he was at it.

It went on too long. “…well, if you’re uncomfortable, let’s not-” Rin’s fingers slid to his perineum.

“No-” Yukio grabbed his brother’s wrist with his other hand. “…please guide me,” he’d never thought he would be saying this kind of words to Nii-san (again) two months ago.

Rin’s expression brightened. “Of course!”

That was how Nii-san ended up leaning on the pillows jammed against the headboard, Yukio on his knees between his legs.

“This much okay?” Yukio wrung the lube bottle till oil was dripping to the bed sheet.

Rin laughed. “Probably too much.” His hand on Yukio’s head, fingers carding through muddy coloured hair, kept him grounded. “Yes, one finger first…” he instructed soothingly.

Yukio tried to recall his own experience with being prepared, penetrating slowly, keeping away from sudden movements, searching, searching, till…

“Ah!” Nii-san’s toes curled inward. His eyes were scrunched shut. “…T-there!” he panted.

The effect of the view on Yukio's arousal was...unexpectedly intense.

Yukio kept his eyes on Nii-san’s face and continued pressing that spot, his dick growing harder as patches of pink blossomed on Nii-san’s cheeks and Nii-san thrashed his head from side to side from pleasure. “M-more fingers,” Rin’s eyes were dark as he demanded, his long lashes fluttering.

Things went on well until they got to three fingers. The way Nii-san’s facial muscles twisted seemed different.

“Nii-san-” Yukio was ready to pull out.

“No,” Rin stopped him, his breathing a little harsh, “Continue.”

Fast forward a couple of minutes, and Yukio had his dick positioned in front of his brother’s anus, the rim a little red from the stretching and glistening with oil.

The bespectacled exorcist was really, really not confident about this. “Nii-san,” he steeled his voice so that none of the doubt showed up. He couldn’t disappoint Nii-san.

Rin rested his legs on Yukio’s shoulders. “I’m ready.”

Yukio pushed, and had his breath taken away from the heat of Nii-san’s insides, the smoothness, even through the condom.

“Good, right?” Rin grinned at him, yet it was just a brave front. The lines around his eyes and mouth were taut, and not in a good way. “T-that’s…how you’ve felt to m-me,” he grunted when Yukio tried to inch forward again.

That sentence struck Yukio.

(Then…I should show Nii-san how good he’s made me feel…)

But reality was unforgiving. Progress was slow, and Yukio jerked Nii-san off to distract him from the pain. After he managed to bottom out, Yukio tried to pull out halfway and thrust deeply like Nii-san often did, but that only caused Rin to flinch. “Just rock…shallowly,” he told Yukio.

Yukio obeyed, shifting his angles minutely to search the elusive spot. Despite how awkward and ashamed he felt, his dick had a mind of his own; all too soon, just as Rin was just getting used to having him inside, Yukio sensed an impending orgasm.

He sped up his hand and fondled Rin’s balls and tail, but it seemed he wouldn’t be able to make Nii-san come first. “Nii-san,” Yukio let his brother see a pleading expression on his face, even though he himself didn’t understand why.

Rin understood, though. “It’s okay,” he squeezed his inner walls, “come.”

Yukio whimpered against Nii-san neck as his cock betrayed him, fingers clutching the bed sheet tightly.

“Sshh,” Rin’s limbs wrapped around him like an octopus as Yukio trembled and dropped from his high.

Still a little dazed, Yukio pulled out and crawled down Rin’s body till he was eye level with his dick.

Nii-san looked surprised. “Yukio, you don’t-”

Yukio ignored him and engulfed the head in his mouth. This was the first time they ever tried oral sex, and Yukio really wasn’t the type to try two first times in a day, but he needed, wanted to make Nii-san come adequately. And the media always made it sound like all men like it.

“Haa-” Yes, that was the kind of sound Yukio would rather hear from Nii-san. “Yuki-” he moaned as Yukio tried to take him deeper, and deeper…

And choked.

“Yukio!” Nii-san reached out for him as Yukio coughed. “Haiz, you don’t need to push yourself,” he shook his head.

But Yukio was stubborn. “One more try.” He wouldn’t repeat his mistake.

Nii-san twitched. “Teeth…” he maneuvered Yukio’s head until they were face to face. Rin cupped his face and kissed him. “Just touch me,” he breathed into his mouth, “touch me and kiss me like this…yess-” he rutted against Yukio’s palms until the latter could feel Rin’s thick semen dripping down the back of his hands.

Yukio stayed until Nii-san recovered from his orgasm, and went to retrieve a small towel from his drawer. He wetted it with the mineral water he’d always kept on his table and cleaned them up.

“Sorry,” Yukio said as Rin yanked him by the hand and made him settle in the bed. He was always more grabby post-coitus.

Nii-san only smiled. “This may come as a shock for a genius like you, but it’s pretty normal to not succeed on the first try, you know,” he mumbled as he cuddled against Yukio. “We have the time to practice…” Soon enough, he’d fallen asleep.

But unconsciousness didn’t come easily to Yukio. All along, he’d taken pleasure for granted whenever they had sex. He’d never known how much effort Nii-san had made to ensure that he felt good.

 _Practice, eh_ … Yukio sighed. _Is there any way I can get better without using Nii-san as a guinea pig?_

The evening was a long one.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A 'filler' before the important conversation between Yukio and Rin, hopefully next chapter. JK. The purpose of this scene is of course to show Yukio realising that certain things Rin does easily is very hard for Yukio, another blow to his self-esteem.  
> Also an attempt at realistic/failsex, since consensual sex in fanfiction is almost always hot and not awkward.
> 
> Rambling on AnE manga:  
> “I want to be especially careful and thorough in writing how Yukio grows as a person. “  
> Kazue Kato’s commentary on Yukio, translated by [facets and rainbows]  
> I would consider manga!Yukio's biggest mental issue right now is to accept that not all demons are bad (i.e. to accept the demon in Rin). And considering how stubborn he is, the 'cheat' or the 'shortcut' - the fastest way to overcome the mental issue - is by transforming Yukio into a demon. He will be forced to acknowledge that he has not changed completely, and he could do good with his new powers. This is the 'shortcut' I have taken in this story.  
> There are other ways of developing Yukio's character without this 'shortcut', of course. That's why I have a feeling manga!Yukio may stay human till the end, after all. That's the ultimate challenge - Yukio changing his beliefs even though he was still human. I believe Kazue Kato has better plans on what kind of experiences Yukio will go through to grow. At the same time, I want him to awaken as a demon, too. Ah, so sad, so sad.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dialogue in scene 67 is...one of the hardest dialogue I had written. Please leave me a comment to let me know how I can improve it. Especially if you don't like the sentence in the bracket in the end. I was hesitant to add it.
> 
> I was listening to Taku Iwasaki's 'Tatsuya', IGOR's 'Metaphore' and Yoko Kanno's Zankyou no Terror OST as I wrote scene 67. Without the beautiful sad tunes of those pieces, I couldn't have produced scene 67.
> 
> Anyways, please check this out for my possible 2nd AnE doujin translation:  
> http://aria-dc-al-fine.livejournal.com/21420.html

66.

A knock on the door of his office woke him up from his accidental catnap.

“Sir Okumura,” Lewin Light smiled at him from the doorway, the curve of his mouth not one bit trustworthy.

“Sir Light,” Yukio eyed him warily behind an empty, polite mask. He might be an arc knight and his allegiance to the Order was proven through his long service as Arthur Angel’s staunch supporter, but until Yukio could figure out his nominator’s motive, he wouldn’t reveal anything. “Please sit down,” the Paladin rose to his feet and gestured politely.

“Then, I will be intruding,” he sat on one of the swiveling chairs in front of Yukio’s desk, eyes still hidden under his long bangs.

For ten minutes, his guest talked about nothing. He asked Yukio if there was anything he could help with, and checked on the status of missions in Africa that wouldn’t catch anyone’s attention. As seconds passed, restlessness built in Yukio, to the point where he was this close to shaking his leg just to release pent up energy.

They were suddenly interrupted by another arrival.

“Lewin,” Yuuko-san narrowed her eyes at the arc knight. “I didn’t know you are this eager to be cursed,” she growled as soon as she closed the door behind her and locked it.

The lack of title and the open hostility surprised Yukio. He blinked at the honorary knight. “Yuuko-san, what…”

Master Light tilted his head. “Most of the players have gathered here,” he whispered a spell under his breath, and Yukio’s office was suddenly surrounded by the strongest tutelary Yukio had ever encountered.

He was immediately alarmed. “Master Light-”

“Sir Okumura,” the Master of Lightning remained in his seat even when the other two high-class exorcist in this prison were on their feet, ready to attack. “Aren’t you sick of the Order’s death threat hanging over you and your brother?”

* * *

 

67.

Yukio opened his eyes, and wished he hadn’t.

His head felt like it was split open.

“Uugh…” he rolled away from the light that burned his face and caused his eyes to see the red of the back of his eyelids.  Must be sunrays reflected on snow crystals…

The familiar herbal scent of a traditional hangover remedy entered his nose, and slowly, Yukio recalled what happened last night. He was at Yuuko-san’s.

Yukio turned slightly as the sound of someone crossing the room and settling on the tatami next to the futon filled his ears. He forced his dry lips to curl to a smile and pried one eye open. “…Thanks,” he began.

And his heart dropped when the sight that greeted him wasn’t that of Yuuko-san’s disheveled bedhead and Cheshire’s grin.

“…Here,” Nii-san handed him the clay mug and his glasses, and their fingers brushed.

Yukio automatically settled for a smile. Break time was over.

Nii-san’s left eye twitch at his expression.

(Ah, it’d irritated him.)

Yukio let the steam of the concoction unclog his nose and the bitterness jolt his brains awake. He would need to be in his full capacity for the conversation that was to come.

From the corner of his eye, Yukio spotted Yuuko-san clearing the snow that had piled on the garden with a scope. She had her back to the house, but Yukio was sure she was watching over them.

The thought made Yukio feel steadier.

Nii-san must have noticed him peering at her, because he turned to the backyard, and tensed.

“…do you love her?” his voice was soft.

Yukio sprayed the liquid in his mouth to the tatami mat. He coughed as his larynx dispelled the medicine that had entered the wrong pipe. Of all things Yukio had guessed Nii-san would say…

“No,” he replied firmly. “Yuuko-san…she’s looked that way since I was eight, Nii-san. If anything…I see her as a mother figure.”

The taut lines on Nii-san’s face unwounded in relief, but at the same time, pain entered his large eyes. “Then…is it revenge?”

“Huh?” After twenty years, Yukio still couldn’t understand Nii-san.

(That’s why they weren’t…)

( _A match._ )

Nii-san looked down a fragment of a moment, before he pressed on with resolve. “Because…for fifteen years, I didn’t acknowledge you as my soulmate.”

Yukio’s eyes widened. So Yuuko-san had some words with Nii-san. Well, he’d expected it.

“You didn’t know, Nii-san,” Yukio put down the mug, “I wouldn’t have faulted you for it.”

“But why do you keep running away from me?” Nii-san leaned closer.

“Run away?” Yukio frowned. “I don’t-”

“You didn’t want to bond with me!” Rin argued hotly.

That was five years ago! Why did Nii-san bring up such an old thing? “Because at that time I was worried that my powers as a newly awakened demon would mess up with your control through the bond! It’s better to contain the risk to one of us rather than both-”

“Contain the risk-” Nii-san looked angrier, “You have never been a risk!”

Yukio blinked in disbelief. Of course he was! They were! They had always been!

But he didn’t want to have a debate over this now.

“Anyways, did you seriously think I would have just stood by and let you-” Nii-san couldn’t finish his sentence. He was overwhelmed. Yukio could feel his emotions tangling themselves into a ball through the connection they shared.

Yukio took a deep breath. He had to keep calm. For Nii-san’s sake, too. “Of course I didn’t, Nii-san,” he placed his palm on Nii-san’s hand to try to tether him. “It’s over five years ago. Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

Nii-san shook his head frantically. “Why didn’t you tell me we were soulmates?”

Yukio sighed inwardly. Now they were going further in the past. “Nii-san-” he sounded exasperated even to himself.

Nii-san glared and cut in Yukio’s interruption. “The people who blinded me from my string did it to stop me from knocking up a girl, and you’re no girl! So why?”

Yukio pressed his fingers to his temple. His head was still aching like it was beaten by a baseball bat. “I already said I thought soulmates were overhyped, right? I just didn’t think it that necessary!”

“You’re lying!” Rin raised his voice. “You must have thought of it a lot if it affected your subconscious!”

Yukio flinched. He threw his gaze and pursed his lips till they were white lines.

“Yukio,” Rin wrapped his fingers around his brother’s forearm, “please tell me, Yukio.”

Yukio scrunched his eyes shut.

“…you wouldn’t have believed it.”

He hated how small his voice was.

Rin shook his head adamantly. “I would have!”

“No, you wouldn’t!” Yukio butted.

“I would!” Rin insistent, “I was already attracted to you before I found out about the string between us!”

Yukio inhaled sharply, and covered his eyes with his palm.

He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. He didn’t know what he wanted.

His emotions were getting muddled, too.

“…it’s not that simple,” Yukio fell back on logic. Logic never disappointed him. “The Order wouldn’t have let me become an exorcist if they knew we were each other’s soulmates. And if we were to have been bonded when you awakened…”

Rin’s face turned miserable, and Yukio _hated_ himself for saying what he’d said. It wasn’t Nii-san’s fault he was born with Satan’s powers.

“I passed the exorcist exams properly,” Rin’s grip around Yukio’s arm tightened, “I became a Middle First class knight. I no longer just rely on the blue flames,” he began to speak faster and faster.

“Yes, Nii-san,” Yukio nodded. He didn’t understand why Nii-san's acting this way now. “You’ve come very far.” Nevertheless, he tried to reassure his beloved.

“That’s why!” Yukio knew his skin would be bruised. It didn’t matter. “I’ll continue to be better.” A tear dripped out of Nii-san’s eyes. “Don’t run away from me anymore.”

The sight made the organ under his ribcage ache, like it was pierced with a sword. The last time Nii-san was this dejected it was on a rainy day, the day Father was lowered to the ground.

Yukio wounded his free arm around Nii-san’s shoulder and pressed them together as close as he could. “You’re strong, Nii-san,” he poured as much of his heart into his words. “You’re not inadequate.”

( _Nii-san was the bright one. The one who could bring people together. The one who could do what he couldn’t._ )

A pocket of silence enveloped them as Nii-san breathed against his neck. Yukio was thankful that Nii-san’s face wasn’t wet. He already could not forgive himself for bringing this sadness to Nii-san’s mind.

“…so why did you reject my proposal?” Nii-san broke the tranquil.

Yukio tensed.

“I’m sorry for ruining the birthday party.”

“Yukio,” Rin pulled away from him and held his cheek with one hand, clear blue eyes flashing at him. “Don’t.”

Yukio couldn’t meet his gaze. He bowed his head and inhaled. Exhaled.

When he went on too long without any replies, Rin shook him. “Yukio!”

Yukio scrunched his eyes and turned his face away.

( _The dream has gone on too long._ )

“…I can’t make Nii-san happy.”

Nothing came from Rin for a while.

Then. “Hah?” The syllable was spoken in an incredulous tone.

“We can never agree on things,” Yukio withdrew further. “All I do is nag at you, and tell you things you don’t like to do. ‘Are you my mom?’ You always say so!”

“That’s-” Rin tried to meet his eyes, but Yukio focused on a point on his shoulder. “I didn’t mean anything by it, you know! And anyways,” he began to speak faster again, “they’re proof that you care for me, right?”

Yukio inhaled deeply. “Of course I care for you, Nii-san,” his voice was shaking. He hated it.

“Then-”

“I will _always_ care for you,” he cut in before Rin could say the argument Yukio had predicted, “As your twin brother, as your soulmate…but you deserve to marry someone who can make you happy, Nii-san.”  

Rin took a sharp breath. “I-I don’t understand,” his voice was also shaking. “You make me _happy_ , Yukio.”

“No, I don’t!” Yukio barked, swatted Nii-san’s arms around him and looked up to meet Nii-san’s eyes. He had to, because Nii-san wasn’t getting it. Without having realized it, his eyes were wet. “You always have more fun with Shiemi-san, Kamiki-san, your Cram school classmates and the knights at the Order. Your laughter is more _genuine_ with them! They know how to appreciate you, Nii-san! They won’t patronize you or make you feel inadequate-” he threw his gaze to the floor again. “…like I always do, because I’m not good for you,” he ended in a smaller voice.

“No!” Rin grabbed his biceps. “Yukio-”

“I can’t give you children, Nii-san,” Yukio refused to budge. “You like them a lot, don’t you?”

“We can just adopt!” Rin refuted straight away. “We were adopted ourselves!”

So he’d been thinking about it.

“Nii-san, do you remember…?” Tears dripped to the futon he was kneeling on, and Yukio was ashamed. Why was he crying? He had no reason to feel sad. “For the longest time, I couldn’t accept the demon in you. It took me becoming a demon myself before I finally could.”

“That’s-” Rin visibly grappled for words, his arms flailing, “it’s not your fault! It’s not an easy thing to accept, you know-”

“But Shiemi-san did,” Yukio hissed, “Kamiki-san, Suguro-kun, Miwa-kun – they all accepted it without having to turn to demons. They’re each a bigger person than me. They’re all _better_ people.”

“Yukio, stop it,” Nii-san held him in a tight hug, “stop it, please, stop it!” he wheezed, like breathing was difficult to him.

“No, you stop it!” Yukio’s scream was muffled on Nii-san’s hoodie. “You’re the one who have to understand-”

“Yukio, _please,”_ Nii-san pleaded, and brought their faces together. Yukio evaded his lips. “I need you,” he spoke desperately to Yukio’s cheek. “Don’t run away from me.”

“I won’t leave you, Nii-san,” Yukio tried to put some distance between them, but Rin wasn’t having it. “I’m not running away. We’ll still be family.”

“But not a couple,” Nii-san sounded so despondent. “That’s running away, Yukio.”

Yukio gritted his teeth. Nii-san still didn’t get it. “ _Da ka ra-_ ” [1]

“I love you.” [2]

Yukio froze. “Nii-san,” he stared at the older male, his eyes wide.

Rin, too, had a shocked expression on his face. But it was gone in a split second. “I’m in love with you,” [2] his face inched closer to Yukio’s again. “Madly, possessively, passionately,” each breathed word was separated by a kiss. He sounded so sure. “I want you to be mine. I _need_ you. It can’t be anyone but you.”

Yukio blinked, and remembered to struggle as Rin grabbed his chin. “Nii-san-” He was ready to bite his brother’s mouth.

“ _Anata_ ,” Rin interjected, “you called me _Anata_ , once.”

Yukio dug his teeth to his lower lip. He was really regretting it now. “That was an anniversary gift,” he argued, “it was just to make Nii-san happy.”

All of a sudden, Nii-san smiled gently. He was so beautiful. The non-sequitur stunned Yukio. “And I was happy that evening,” he dropped a kiss to paler man’s neck, the mole under his ear. “See, you do know how to make me happy.”

That’s not the point! Yukio glared at his twin. “A lot of people in the world are good at sex, Nii-san.”

Rin frowned, his expression transformed completely to that of sorrow. “Don’t,” he winced, “each time you reject me…it _hurts_ …so much.”

Yukio flinched. Nii-san wasn’t playing fair. “Our values don’t align, Nii-san,” he countered exasperatedly. “In the long run, it’ll be better for you. I’m sorry I’ve hung on to you too long. It’s my fault you’ve developed this attachment…”

“Yukio!” Rin shouted, his fingers digging on Yukio’s woolen yukata. “Tell me that you don’t feel sad to dissolve our relationship as lovers. Look at me in the eyes and tell me!”

Yukio clenched his fists. “In the long run-” he repeated.

Rin shut him up by capturing his lips, five years of experience showing in how weak-kneed he’d made Yukio feel. The latter tried to resist, to no avail.

“You know what would make me the happiest person on earth?” Rin puffed to his face as he rested their foreheads together. “It’s for you to love me like you can’t bear to let me go.”

Yukio furrowed his brows. “Nii-san-”

“I’m very sure nobody, absolutely nobody, cares for my happiness as much as you do, Yukio,” Nii-san pressed his palm on Yukio’s chest through the parting of his collar, on his quickly beating heart. His pulse jumped from the direct contact.

( _If I really am the person who cares the most about your happiness, Nii-san…I should have had the strength to let you go._ )

Nii-san maneuvered Yukio till the shorter male was lying on the futon and Yukio was bent over him. As Rin stared right into his eyes, his gaze steady as a rock, he declared confidently. “You’re the best for me.”

And Yukio couldn’t help but be burned in Nii-san’s flames.

TBC

Review please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. My ‘I think of the dialogues in Japanese’ rearing its ugly head again. A lot of you may think ‘dakara’ means ‘because’, but it’s not so straight forward. The root word for ‘dakara’ is ‘kara’ (‘da’ is there to connect ‘kara’ with nouns / phrases that act as nouns) and ‘kara’ as Japanese conjunctive has 10+ meanings especially if you pair it with ‘shite’ ‘niwa’ ‘toitte’ 'mireba' 'suruto', etc. Anyways, the closest English translation I could get here would be “I said-!”
> 
> 2\. The first ‘I love you’ is ‘Suki’. And the second is ‘Aishiteru’. ‘Suki’ is the word often used in confessions. ‘Aishiteru’ has a lot more weight than ‘suki’, as it is meant for passionate, serious love.


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